Not settling at nursery

[Havingabaddayx200]

My son who is 2 is goin to being going to nursery 2 days a week, he went last we for 2 settling in sessions. One I stayed the other I left him for an hour, this week he went yesterday and today for 3 hours, he hated it this week?! Crying when I left upset the whole time he was there. Really upset not like a tantrum, I feel so bad for him I dunno what to do im starting a new job and I really want him to enjoy going to nursery and be happy to be there, how long will this last when will he like it and realise I'm coming back? How can I help him settle in better!?

Can he keep your scarf with him or something? To reassure him you're coming back?

Our little boy was exactly the same when he started doing Mondays and Tuesdays in January but he has just got slightly better each week since then! He is still not 100% about going and cries when we drop him off but is okay when he starts activities! He is always asking what time we are going to pick him up!! He does talk about it more so seems happier than at the start when he would be really distraught!

We felt terrible at the start and each week that passed l just wanted him to happy but it has got easier!! At first when we picked him he would run and grab onto us but now carries on playing and shows us some toys!! It is so hard when you're working as we are too, you just want them to be happy!! I am sure that you'll get there too!! It's taken us 3 months to feel that he has really improved!! Good luck and best wishes x

Also we found giving him breakfast at home and then going straight to okay helped!! We also tried taking some of his own books to read when he got there helped and his Ted!! x

Thank you for your replies, its good to here other kids that are the same do get better at goin, I'm going to try abit longer and hopefully he starts to like it more xx

It just takes time for them to adjust and get used to the routine and also bond with their key worker. I found DS went into nursery better when I dropped him of earlier in the day. Sometimes fewer children in the room made it less daunting for him. It's tough leaving them especially when they are upset but it will get easier.

Having exactly the same with my 3.5yr old DS, first settling in session I stayed, second session I left for 2hrs and returned to a very tear stained face, same for the third session and today when I dropped him off he clung onto me, telling me he loved me & missed me (which has continued all evening), he let me go, but when I returned after 4hrs his keyworker said he had been tearful on/off all session. Wont eat lunch or go to the toilet (which is probably stressing him out)?!? Another session tomorrow, which I am absolutely dreading!!!
This is breaking my heart, just want him to be happy.........

Mycrazytoddler it's so hard isn't it, my boy was very clingy afterwards as well and didn't eat while there :( we have another session tomorrow too I'm hopping it goes well, hope urs does too xx

Havingabaddayx200 soooo hard!!! How did it go today? Hope it went better? Our session today started terribly, he screamed, cried, clung onto me, begged, pleaded.......the lot!!! I tried so hard to hold it together (a few tears slipped out!!), I had to leave him, and it was the hardest thing ever!!! I got outside & sobbed my heart out, local Costa Coffee staff think im a loon!!! BUT, called the nursery 20mins after leaving and......he was playing happily, had stopped crying etc 5mins after I had left!!! No tears when I went to pick him up 2hrs later, greeted by a very happy boy, proud as punch of the card he had made me!! Also no clingyness tonight!!! Wish I could get inside his head and see what he was thinking?! Not sure if this is a breakthrough, but certainly made me more optimistic that things will get easier & not dreading our next session quite so much!! xx

Do they do breakfast at your nursery? DS is so focused on getting to the table that it's quite hard to get him to say goodbye

Give it time. He just needs to get used to it. It's such early days and he's only there two days a week. It would be better for settling in if he were there more often but it's not like you can do anything about that now.

Hey everyone, so 3rd session this week went so much better, lots of tears at drop off this morning crying walking in but stuff told me he had a really good day and he was playing away well and really settled in, some tear through out the day but getting better. when I went to pick him up he wasn't upset just a bit tired seemed so much better and wasn't clingy tonight. feel better about it now hopping he'll just keep getting better. Xx

Think im guilty of expecting too much too soon!!!! Havingabaddayx200, so glad things are getting easier!! Our last settling in session went brilliantly as well, aside from a few tears at drop off, he had a fantastic day, played happily, got up and sung a song in front of everyone & was very happy when I collected him at 4pm, no tears etc.....such a relief!!! First 'proper' day will be Tuesday and im actually excited, rather than dreading it!!!
Thanks to everyone for the reassurance & advice, much appreciated!!! Now I just have to get my head around going back to work!!!
Happy Easter everyone!!! x

Hey my crazy toddler howz it goin? We are getting on better still tears at drop off but the nursery showed me pictures of him happy and playing When he was there :) made me feel so much better xx

Hi Havingabaddayx200, yep, things have improved slightly, like you, we still have tears at drop off but seems happy during the day!!!
He hadnt been eating lunch or going to the toilet, but done both last week....must be feeling more settled?!
Hopefully things continue to get easier for both of us.......it would be so nice to eventually drop off without the tears x