Biting at nursery - wwyd?

8 replies

trilbydoll · 17/03/2015 18:38

DD is in the toddler room, which is prob 13-25mo (ish) and on the busy days, there's about 18 kids in there.

She was bitten twice a few weeks ago and twice again today, poor thing. Every time she has been a bit under the weather so I feel doubly sorry for her!

According to the staff, the biter doesn't discriminate, he bites everyone. It's not because they fall out, or he is visibly upset, she just gets in the wrong place at the wrong time and he fancies a piece of her arm!

DH is furious and wants to complain. I'm not sure what we would be hoping to achieve - my understanding is they're not allowed to discipline and the kids are a bit young to understand anyway. Any experience / ideas?

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insancerre · 17/03/2015 19:50

Biting is a normal phase for some children
There really isn't anything to be gained by going in all guns blazing
Its bound to happen when you have young children together
What do you want to happen?
Assurance that it won't happen again?
Thats an impossible ask, I'm afraid

Original poster

trilbydoll · 17/03/2015 19:51

That's my problem, I honestly don't know what I want them to say! What can we reasonably expect nursery to do, anything?

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insancerre · 17/03/2015 19:56

They will probably shadow him more but even then they wont be able to guarantee he went do it again.
He'll most likely just grow out of it.
It could be worse. The biter could be your child.

KeturahLee · 17/03/2015 19:59

I think you can reasonably expect the nursery to safeguard your child - this wasn't an unpredictable occurrence, they have a child they know is likely to bite and he has bitten your DD before.

If they have monitored his behaviour and found there is no trigger, then they need to ensure an adult is close enough to him to intervene to prevent harm to other children.

Abbykadabby · 17/03/2015 20:16

Happening to my DC too. Once was ok. I was just glad it wasn't the other way around. The second time it was a very bad bite and nearly drew blood.

My response the first time was ok, what's your policy in managing this? I received an accident report to sign. The other parents had to sign an incident report. We were both called prior to pick up. Full confidentiality maintained.

The second time I was more upset. My response was more assertive. "This bite was much more aggressive and concerning. What are you doing to more closely manage this situation?" Accident and incident report again, manager met with other parents to discuss joint strategy in managing behaviour, the biting child getting more close 1:1 monitoring. Again, full confidentiality.

I accept that it's developmental and it could easily be my child biting in a few weeks. I thought the nursery's response for my DC and "the biter" DC was appropriate.

Original poster

trilbydoll · 17/03/2015 21:31

Thanks all. I will ask if they are watching him closely. Confidentiality has gone out the window, DD says it was Louie! I won't take that as gospel though

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Indantherene · 17/03/2015 22:45

My DD was a biter. At one point we were seriously worried we were going to be asked to remove her from nursery. They watched her, and hers was a very small nursery with only I think 6 children in the up to 2s room, yet even with somebody sitting next to her at the table she managed to bite another child. She stopped eventually. She was late to speak and I think she was frustrated. It was horrible at the time and as the parent of the biter you feel awful and there is nothing you can do.

Katie96 · 25/03/2015 21:00

Hi guys, would like some advice regarding my little boy who is 2 for the past 8 months he has been hitting, biting and scratching other children and adults at home and at nursery. I had to move Nursey a few months ago as the way the dealt with it was to reduce his days from 5 to 2 yet his behaviour didn't improve. He started his new nursery in January and now we have got to the same stage as the last nursery cutting the days and it has got much worse at home as well as school even with behaviour techniques and guidance put into place. I am looking into the possibility of ADHD and currently waiting for assessments and appointments to help him. Any advise on if there is any nurseries or childcare providers that people know that will actually work with my son and support him as I just feel like he's being fobbed of by them by reducing the days.

Thank you for reading :)

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