Having a nightmare with DD at nursery!

[nikki1978]

Hi,

Haven't been on these boards before so hi everyone! I have recently started my DD at a nearby nursery - she has just turned 2. I am a stay at home mum but work 15 hours a week from home doing bookkeeping for my family business. I have been doing this for a year and have been struggling to look after her, work and do all the housework as well. My DF and the rest of my family work very long hours in the family business and since we moved here just over a year ago to set up the business I don't really have any friends around here to help with childcare. Another reason I wanted to put her in a nursery was because I thought she would enjoy having time with other kids and doing stuff we don't really do at home like painting etc. I am also expecting another baby in Feb which will add to the stress!

Anyway I found a nursery I liked and she started her settling in period 2 and a half weeks ago. The settling in period was 2 weeks. I stayed with her the first 2 days for an hour. On the third day I left her for 20 mins and she was fine. On the fourth day I left her for an hour and she was fine. On the fifth day I left her for an hour and a half and she cried a bit during that time (apparently another child was crying for his mummy and it started her off). The next week she cried a bit during the first two sessions (2hrs this time) but on the Wednesday she became hysterical when I tried to leave and I finally had to leave her screaming. She cried on off throughout that session and screamed when I picked her up.

This week she started properly (Mon, Weds and Fri 9-12). She has been the same, getting tearful on the way in, crying hysterically when I leave and taking a while to calm, then playing happily and crying on off throughout till I pick her up. Am worried this is going to keep happening and it is making me dread taking her. I know I need to have some childcare but this is much harder than I expected. She is funny with strangers anyway (always crys when they try to pick her up) but is fine if I leave her with friends or family who she knows.

How long should I let this continue for? Will it get better or do I have one of those kids who won't settle in childcare?

HELP!

Nikki

Poor you. I would say it's too early to know. Ds was like this for two weeks when he went up to the next room at nursery but is fine now and looks forward to seeing his mates. Does she have a key worker? If so, maybe the worker could spend more time with her in order to help her feel more secure (it seems attachments are very important to her)as maybe feeling anonymous and not having a close bond with any of them is making her feel anxious.

Could she go to a childminder instead? It sounds like she would be well suited to a home environment with one adult she knows, if she is happy to stay with friends and family without you.

I would agree with F&Z. At this age she may just not like the extra noise and all the people (some of whom she won't see every day) in the nursery. Ds was a bit like this. I found him a cm with only two other children (one school age) to look after and he was much happier there. He still occasionally cries when I leave but always stops quickly and pretty much never cries when he is there.