Obsessing that my child is going to get killed - please post and tell me what a twit I am being....................

[irrational]

Had to namechange as I'm going to mention specifics.
I'm going back to work soon, 3 days a week. Nursery place is set up. I like the nursery and the staff.
BUT I cannot shake this awful dread that ds will come to serious harm.
It stems from a terrible event at his playgroup during the summer, where one of the children was killed under the wheels of an ambulance during a demonstration.
The strange thing is, when the playgroup re opened, I took ds back for the last couple of weeks, and although difficult (for everyone involved in the playgroup), it was better than never going back there.
The new Nursery is a totally different place, they don't have a bad safety record (neither did the playgroup of course) as far as I know, so I don't know why I am in this state. I am usually very relaxed about him being in the care of others.

Help me calm down .

Tragic events like that can trigger terrible anxiety, understandably. Leaving your boy for the first time is anxety making too. No wonder you feel shite! Poor you. But- deep breaths, accidents like this are very very rare and if anything everyone in the area will be 998851100000000tihundred times more vigilant that usual. Going back to work is a process and you will feel less anxious as you see that ds can settle and enjoy life at nursery. Take it a step at a time and if you still feel highly anxious once he's settled in properly maybe consider some counselling.

Thanks scummy .

I've left him before - he was at the playgroup in the mornings for 5 months before the accident happened. Plus my eldest attended nursery and is now in school.

I think you are right - it has triggered an anxiety, specific to ds, because it was the first place I had left him.

I'm wondering whether to let the nursery know that ds attended the playgroup (they will undoubtedly know about what happened, it was widely reported) - just so they know I'm a bit of a jittery Mum who needs reassurance.

I dont think you are being irrational at all

it must have been a terrible shock (the accident)

agree with scums to take it one step at a time and be kind to yourself, don't be surprised if you feel jittery. I think it would be a good idea to mention it, hopefull the staff are kind people who will do their best to reassure you

That sounds like a good idea. I think leaving kids at new places is always a bit anxiety heightening. Probably this is something where you just have to take the plunge and do it whereupon the anxiety will recede. If it doesn't there's lots that can be done. When does he start nursery?

He has already started his "settling in" visits and has loved them.

I was fine when I was visiting prospective nurseries, so these feelings have taken me by surprise. I will talk to the nursery manager - it's my problem, but if I share it, it might help to ease the worry.

Bless you, you are not being silly - what an absolutely horrific thing to happen, no wonder you are worried. This is not in the same league at all but for what it's worth I had similar feelings when DS started nursery as I was watching This Morning the day before and there was this dreadful article about a young child and her childminder and I went quite silly and nearly couldn't go back to work. I found it helped talking to other mums who had their child at nursery and of course they all said how happy they were etc. etc. Ds at nursey for over a year now and loves every minute. Fears are natural especially after what has gone on - if you don't feel any better over a period of time you could always talk to your GP and you could try counselling. I really think what you are going through is completely normal and I would be more surprised if you were left unaffected by such a terrible tradgedy. Lots of hugs.

Oh I remember that

Sounds a perfectly normal anxiety trigger to me. I think that talking to them and explaining how you are feeling would help - if nothing else it will prepare them for you phoning frantic halfway through the morning because you have a bad feeling.

I agree about the considering councelling if it doesn't improve with a bit of time.

You're not being silly at all. I'm sure that most mums who had children at that particular playgroup are feeling the same, and your nursery will allow for it.

I remember hearing the story about the ambulance. So very sad.

I remember the story in the news and how much it upset me - my first instinct was to run to pre-school and get ds2. So I think it's perfectly natural that that fear is even more heightened for you, as your ds is going to the same building where that terrible accident happened. I hope once he is settled in there and happy, you will feel better. You could mention your fears (and that he went to playgroup there) to the staff - I'm sure they would be understanding.

I also remember that accident - one of my friends live literally round the corner from where it happened and I think everyone, even those not at that playgroup, held onto their kids a bit tighter that week.

I would mention it to the nursery. I don't think it's irrational at all (coupled with normal anxiety about returning to work) - you'll probably find that once he's been there a few weeks and you've got used to being back at work, you'll start to feel a bit better.

Totally understandable. I think it is important you talk about the anxiet and try to go over it. My brother had a fall while he was 9 result a 2.5mm crack on his skcall?(spelling sorry). My mother was protective ever since. The result is he is not a indepent as me and my mother know the reason but simply can't let her feelings go.
PS: my bro was okay after the fall, healed well and no other accident (fingers x) in his life.