In tears even just doing the route

[chicca]

Hi all

Serious guilt/what the hell am I gong to do time. DS (2.1 months) has been going to the same nursery for about 3 hours a day for nearly a year. Difficult at first, got better and then before the summer break (here in Spain there is no childcare in August) got upset again. He is in tears as I hand him over (he rarely walks in) but they say that a few minutes later he is ok and when I collect him he seems happy.
He is due to start again in 2 weeks time in the older group. Today we took the same route in the car as we would for nursery and he was in floods of tears.
I think [erhaps we have been guilty of dropping him off too late (10.30 sometimes) which can mean he is already tired and has "established" himself at home for the day.
I plan to give ut 2 weeks of taking him at a decent time in the morning. Hopefully the more interesting activities might keep him more occupied...
If he is still v. upset I don't think it can carry on. It doesn't seem right does it??
Meanwhile, I work from home.
All opinions begged for!

Hi,

I understand what you are saying, my ds is 18 mths and is usually happy when I drop him off at nursery but i have been a bit naughty this summer, im a teacher so not at work at mo, and have been taking him in later and missing odd days and now he is back to square one and crying when i drop him off, the staff say he is fine when i go and , as you say, he is happy when i collect him. I think routine is important to little ones and i hope when he is back to regular start times and the nursery day he will be fine. I think dropping your son off earlier may help as then hed settle into the nursery day, i know when my ds went in later one day he was much more upset than when i drop him off at 8 for work. Hes back normal time next week so will let you know if the routine theory works. Im sure nursery is right for your ds, good luck with it all

I have only just started settling my DD into nursery(she is 2 just) and she juct cries Momma all the time. She is only going for 1 hour at the moment, but cries for about 50 mins!

both of my children went through stages of not wanting to go to nursery but that sounds extreme and I do know that care in spain is hugely variable.

if I were you I'd come up with an excuse to pop in one day about 10 mins after you've dropped your ds off - then you'll see if he does settle OK. if so then persevere if you need to work. it might help if you set aside 20 mins or so as special time with him before or after nursery - after is probably better, then you can talk about what you're going to do for that day's special time on the way there. it works for dd anyway.

Sometimes children do cry at the point of separation and then settle in ok. My DD1 went to a creche one afternoon a week while I did a college course and would weep plaintifully then when I left to go to my class I would double back around the creche and hear her laughing only a minute later! Having said that the same daughter went to a nursery aged 2 and I oculdn't put my finger on it, but I just wasn't happy, I was pg and due with DD2 so i wanted it to work to give me a little rest time. Eventually I moved her and she was like a different child at the new nursery, never cried once. So I guess what I'm saying is trust your instinct.

DS started getting really upset about nursery after having been there for about 12 mths - he was bored basically and was having problems with one of the kids in his room being a bit boistrous wanting to play with him - he moved to a different room and he's been fine since then.
Might be worth asking a few more questions of the ladies that look after him and see what they say -ask DS as well see what he says maybe?

All fantastic points! Interestingly enough DS was saying what sounded like "baby" through his tears. There was a younger child in his group last year who cried a lot and I know that bothered him (don't ask me why - they told me this). Yes, I need to ask more questions (can be a bit tricky with language barrier) and I hope routine will work for us. As Senora knows childcare is quite variable here in Spain. it is much cheaper than in the UK but possibly less high in terms of quality. I think he was bored last year. Sadly you can't even see where they play when you drop them off (it's all screened off to prevent mummy spots). That is pretty standard here!
look forward to hearing your news ptmum..

Hi Chicco
My ds is now back in normal nursery routine and seems a lot better, in fact he know runs down the corridoor to his room without a backward glance, so im left feeling abandoned! Thing is i know he is well at the moment and so happy to be there, i think things like upsets in routine and illness make him a bit more unsure and so teary. I think because i trust the staff i feel ok leaving him. How do u feel about the staff? Are ther other nurseries you could look around if you are not happy. Hope your ds is ok now and you are feeling less guilty ( what am i saying thats forever now!)
ptmum