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Sympathy please - DD bit on nose at nursery!

10 replies

AndyJ · 20/08/2006 17:32

Really upset about this.

Went to pick my DD up from nursery on Friday only to find that another child had bit her on the nose - she actually had a mark around the top of her nose! I have always been very protective of my DD and she hasn't been going to nursery that long and has just moved to an older class. The nursery played it down and said that it is very common but I don't want it to happen again.

Obviously they can't tell me which child did it but my DH says if it happens again he is going to insist the child is taken out of the nursery (bit drastic I think!)

What should I do? Should there be a policy about this? They did tell me before she started that these things happen but I had thought of her being bitten on her arm or leg - the fact that it is her poor face has made it 100 times worse.

OP posts:
Ladymuck · 20/08/2006 17:39

Oh dear - you have my sympathies. Unfortunately biting is one of those stages that some children go through -awful when your child is the bitee though.

I think if it happens again it is perfectly acceptable to ask for your dd to be monitored carefully, especailly if the same child is the biter. I don't think that you can ask for the biter to be removed, though of course you can move your dd.

How old is your dd btw? You may fid that she ends up telling you who the biter is.

estobi1 · 21/08/2006 13:30

I am so sorry I understand how upsetting this must be for you and I hope her nose is better!

I have had a problem with my little girl being the biter and it is absolutely awful from the other side - you feel so ashamed and guilty and desperate to stop it. As Ladymuck said, it is a stage that some children go through and the problem is that it happens so quickly it is difficult to stop. Children don't look for an arm or a leg but whatever is nearest to them. The child may have been teething and looking to relieve their own pain by biting. Alternatively, they may have wondered what your little girl's nose tasted like! There is every chance that your little one will not experience this again. If she does, I would talk to the nursery about how you feel and ask them exactly what they are doing to stop it. Like you say, they will not tell you "who dunnit" but you are entitled to ask whether it is the same child and what action they are going to take.

My little girl has got over this horrible phase now I am delighted to say and her nursery were very supportive. When we were aware that there was a problem, i.e. repeated bad behaviour, the nurserty adopted a specific written procedure to try to help. They offered a designated team member to watch our dh at all times to see what was triggering bad behaviour and to stop any of the other children from being bitten. I am ashamed to say that our little girl was quite bad at one point, even though we were very firm with her at home and there was nothing that we could see should be bothering her. In order to try to help the situation, at the same time, we changed her day at nursery so that she was in a different group of children and over the past six weeks she has only tried to bite once.

So good luck hope it all works out.

AndyJ · 21/08/2006 20:37

Thank you both for the advice and support. My little girl is 16 months old so not really at the stage where she can tell me "whodunnit". I can understand how it must feel to be the parent of a child that bites and it sounds like your nursery were very supportive estobi. Hopefully her nose did not taste so good that the biter will want to have another go! I feel guilty enough leaving her at nursery sometimes never mind how guilty I feel when she gets injured whilst she is there

Fingers crossed it doesn't happen again.

OP posts:
HeyBaby · 28/08/2006 20:09

My DS was bitten near the corner of his eye last week. I was quite shocked as the bitten area was raised and swollen and bleeding a little bit when the little girl's teeth had pierced the skin. I wasn't sure what to do because I agree with Ladymuck re: biting phases (and thought what if MY DS goes through such a phase?!). But I did end up writing a letter of complaint mainly because the same little girl has done this before (estobi1 - your nursery isn't in NW London is it????) and I thinkt there is a potentialy health risk if they bite hard enough to draw blood. In any case, I realise it's hard for the parents and I mainly requested closer supervision of this particular girl especially when she is in contact with the younger kids. My DS is only 11 months!

redT · 06/09/2006 21:22

Over the last 6 months, BB has been bitten 4 times, the last 2 happening in the last 10 days. I have been very calm about the whole thing but today I lost it. The nursery assured me 10 days ago that this wouldn't happen again and they would carefully monitor any situation where BB might be bitten. But then today happened. BB is a very sweet kind natured and open 20 month, and she seems to be bullied. The nursery said that they take it very seriously etc etc, but I'm so upset and fuming. Don't know what to do next. Can't find an alternative until age of 2 so need to solve the issues somehow for the next 4 months.

Please can someone help with this sort of experience. I am worrying for her now. So far bitten on her arm, but could be more serious next time. Was thinking of complaining to OFSTED but don't know if it would make any difference. I feel that this is negligence on the behalf of the nursery rather than me being angry with the child.

Bettlejuice · 07/09/2006 11:26

To redt - I work part time in a nursery and know that children will sometimes bite but it tends to be the same ones so try and find out if it is one particular child and then ask if it is poss to keep them seperated. Also has the nursery spoken tothe parents of the biter? as if repetitive they should.

JessaJam · 07/09/2006 11:30

ds was bitten on the face a few weeks ago, had big red teeth marks in a ring on his cheek.

It happens. Some children go through phases of biting or pinching or slapping. What matters is how the nursery handle it (do they tell that childs parents, how is the child taught that it is the wrong thing to do).

redT · 07/09/2006 12:56

Thanks for your replies. The nursery say that it is different children which makes it more difficult. i don't know whether to believe them or not, it seems strange to have 3 'biters' in 1 room all biting my BB! To make matters worse, this morning BB said ' no nursery today mummy' which is the first time ever - normally BB can't wait to get there. It broke my heart that BB was so upset when I left.

I need to have another meeting with the nursery staff to get a thorough understanding of what they are doing as I don't really have an alternative but to continue with this nursery at the moment. I am just not convinced that they are taking it at seriously as they say they are.

Bettlejuice · 08/09/2006 09:22

Dont be afraid to take it further if you are not happy with their answers = your child has to be happy thats the importanr thing! If all else fails you could always just tell him to bite the little b***s back!!!

redT · 12/09/2006 12:12

Again - thanks. BB seems OK, to be honest, the managers are staying out of my way - I have been into Nursery 4 times since the incident and haven't seen them at all. The worst thing is that BB has said every morning now - 'no school today mummy!' Nightmare. Don't know if this is a phase or a reaction to the incident.

Anyway, need to stop stressing, I have a new nursery set up from end november so just need to be calm til then. I will be watching them like a hawk! Thanks for your support.

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