Granny jealousy and childcare!

[formerblonde]

I'm going back to work fairly soon so need to think about childcare options. My in laws live about an hour away and my parents live about 3 hours away (unfortunately!). I think since having my little girl it's really hit my mum in particular that the distance means they won't see her anything like as much as they'd like. I do get on well generally with my mil but she does tend to take over with the baby ( and she is very good with her to be fair). My mil has recently offered to look after lo one day when I go back to work. But to be honest I wished she'd never offered....

This probably sounds ridiculous to people as I know it's a generous offer but the thought of my lo being closer to my mil than my mum breaks my heart. And I know my mum would be upset by it too (although would understand if we took the offer as it will save on costs). Also because of the distance will mil expect to stay over? (I've only so much tolerance!).

How can I politely decline her offer? It may sound ridiculous but I can't help how I feel. I just think all round lo being in nursery 3 days a week will be better.

Any thoughts? Am I being silly? Any one else trying to keep both grandparents happy?!

Thanks

I think that for childcare its totally up to you, but I just want to say try not to worry relationship wise with your DPs and your ILs. My ILs are in the same town and my DPs are just over an hour away, but unable to travel to us. This means my ILs are very involved on an almost daily basis with my DCs and my DPs on a three weekly one. It upsets me in a way as like in your case they may be the only GCs my DPs have, though my ILs may have others in time to come.

But what shocked me was my DCs have almost learnt what a GP is from my ILs and that's lead them adore my DPs as well. They have a completely different relationship with them, but they worship them just as much. They have the fun treat filled relationship with my DPs, but a more practical one with ILs. Either way a trip to whichever GPs and they're very excited.

I know it doesn't address your problem but I hope it helps settle your mind a little about disparate relationships.

Join that's unnecessarily aggressive.

Don't worry too much about the distance and visit times. We have one set of GPs close by who DD saw once a week regularly, but when we visited the other GPs, is was often for a whole weekend, so the time they had together ended OP about the same.

I agree with others who have suggested using GPs as backup care. You will need this and there will be no issues with commitment to regular care then.