SAHM and nurseries - advice please wise MNers

[piglit]

I am a SAHM (ds1 21 months and ds2 9 months). I would really like ds1 to go to nursery 2 or 3 afternoons a week so that he gets used to the nursery environment well before he starts pre-school. There is a place available for him from Jan 07 (when he will be 27 months) in a totally fantastic local nursery with glowing reports and recommendations. I visited the other day and it was just lovely and the staff were great.

My PITA MIL says that it's wrong for me to send him to nursery when I'm a SAHM and she's said that I'm obviously keen to "get him off my hands". That couldn't be further from the truth. I just want him to get the hang of going to nursery, hanging out with other children of his own age and to make the whole pre-school/school experience as easy as possible.

Is it "wrong" for a SAHM to send their toddler to nursery? Am I doing the right thing?

If you're 'wrong' then so am I - as I'm intending on sending DS2 in January - because I think it'll do him good - if I could find (and actually make it to) 5 toddler groups a week - then I would as he really needs and thrives on the stimulation (of which I just can't give him all the time).

If you want to send him to nursery for whatever reason (prep for pre-school/meeting other children/time for yourself/work commitments) Send him! Ignore MIL..she is being daft.

IF I was a sahm (ahhh, dreams!)I would still want ds to go to nursery for a day/couple of afternoons a week...

MIL are for ignoring, that's there purpose in life!! Go with your instincts and don't feel guilty

Totally not wrong, totally normal, don;t let her make you feel guilty about it!

DS (2.6 years) started nursery at 18mnths. He goes two mornings a week and loves it. It gives me some 'one to one' time with dd (8mnths).

Your MIL would have a field day with me. My DS goes to nursery 2 whole days per week, has done since he was 7 months. I work hmmm what's the right word here.....sporadically. We have no local family (my mum, elderly and 150 miles away), so paid childcare is the only way for me to get a break. DS is very happy there, and is an outgoing and confident little boy.

Do what feels right for you and your boy and don't be apologetic about it!

Well, for starters, even if you did want to send him there to get him off your hands, WTF is wrong with that? I happily admit that I sent my little ones to nursery so that I could have a break. Needing a break from small children hardly makes you a bad parent.
And as you said, the experience is good for them.

I think your MIL obviously needs to be ignored.

Thanks so much for the great advice. You've made me feel heaps better and given me the resolve to stick 2 fingers up at MIL (when she's not looking obviously..).

I'll get on the phone and say yes to the nursery place.

Thanks

Do it - I'm SAH with 2 in nursery two days a week each (overlapping on one - so I get one day to do the chores and a day with each one on their own and two days with two). They get a measure of independence and confidence from learning and playing away from you. It's not a case of getting them off my hands, it's about broadening their life experience and preparing them for school and beyond.

You could tell MIL that you've had a think and she's right, so instead of nursery, you're sending him to her for two days every week....

You are doing what you feel is right, so go with it. I am a SAHM and ds1 starts reception in September. I've just registered ds2 (2.5 years) at a local Nursery two mornings a week - for the same reasons as you! Go for it, I'd say!

Bear - luckily MIL lives 250 miles away so that's not an option!! Actually, she's a poisonous old cow who's only interested in money and what the neighbours think. I'll tell her that I've been discussing it with a couple of dozen of my closest friends (on MN!) and they all say it will improve ds1's chances of getting into a top university. That'll do the trick.

Haven't read all the responses piglit so sorry if I am repeating what others have said...

Sounds like you are doing exactly the right thing for your ds1. A bit of time at nursery will be good for him, he will make friends and have loads of fun. My dd (2.0) is at nursery as I work but I have always said that even in an ideal world where I wasn't working I would send her for two or three sessions a week anyway. It will give you time to spend 1 on 1 with your ds2 which your ds1 will have had before ds2 came along. Good for all of you imho. If you want to do it, and you can afford it, why the hell not???? MIL's often pipe up with this rubbish, ignore her.

I sent mine exactly to "get her off my hands"! . She is very energetic and thrives on the interaction with other children.

Bear - what a great arrangement! Am v

CaptainFlameSparrow - ditto, except mine are boys

Do it!
I'm a SAHM and my dc go to nursery school three days a week. They love it. They started when they were 15m for different reason:
-we are italian and they need to learn english
-we obviously don't have family around
-most of our freinds here don't have kids and I'm not v. good at toddler's group
-I need a break, and yes, they need a break from me as well.
all the best

I did it with dd, to get her used to being away from me before she started school nursery ( and to be honest to give me a couple of hours twice a week).
Now work in the nursery so ds comes with me before he starts school nursery in Sept.
Most people who use us are SAHM who want to gently ease their kids into "education" before they go in for real.
And why shouldn't you have a break now and again?
It'll make you more fun to be around if you have a bit of time to yourself, good for your younger one to get some time just with you, time to get chores done, and nice for your ds to have a different environment for a while (tick all that apply)!
Sorry if I'm repeating what others say, haven't read all thread and dd is nagging me to get on the PC!

Of course it is not wrong for a SAHM to send their todder (or indeed baby) to nursery. It's good for the child. Furthermore, aren't you allowed any time to yourself? What a dreadful thing to say!

Piglit,it's nothing to do with her!
My 24 mth old goes to a nursery 21/2 days a week.
My dh is abroad and without the break,I would go mad.

Do it! Do it!