Really p***ed off with dd's nursery

[tegan]

Last week when I picked dd up she was sobbing uncontrollably and being help by the arm by the leader, when I asked what was wrong she told me that dd had biten a child and been repremanded ( I assumed time out in the corner), she then sobbed all the way home and for an hour in her sleep.
This week she apparently bit a girl until it bled and pulled the back of a chair sending a boy to the ground banging his head, I was asked to sign a accident book for these incidents and told dd was put in the office alone for time out.
Does any of this sound ok to anyone or am I over reacting about it.

i would have thought putting him office is a bit extreame what wrond with time out in the corner

why would you sign the accident book for the other chidren who got hurt?

I do think there needs to be some discipline, time out in corner maybe but would like to see a nursery nurse holding my dd by the arm.

so these are three separate occasions where your dd has hurt another child - one biting last week, one biting this week and pulling the chair out causing boy to bang his head?

difficult. i'd have thought nursery would want to have spoken to you in more detail really. i don't know. if i was parent of one of the other kids i might want to see that nursery had taken some steps, and if it's a repeated offence that something more is done next time (ie corner for 1st time, office for 2nd time). not sure.... (sorry for being vague)

Where were the nursery staff who are supposed to be supervising if your dd was able to bite a child for long enough to draw blood?

And I agree..no child should be left alone in an office for a punishment, thats terrible.

OTOH it sounds like she may need some kind of discipline so she will learn not to bite.. that is 2 biting incidents in a few days. Also don't understand why you had to sign the accident book. In my DD's playgroup we aren't told who bit/hit/whatever our child (unless by the child its-self!) Or who our child hit/bit/whatever. It would just lead to bad feeling amongst the parents if we all knew the name of the child who hit etc..
I would not be pleased to see dd being held by the arm, unless they were restraining her from biting again or something?

sorry my post shoud have read would not like to see dd being held by the arm.. eek!! sorry!!! basically What DevilsAdvacado said.

(Im such a scatterbrain)

I used to work in a nursery and had problems with children biting, but it is a stage of their development, and the parents of the ones who got bitten and the child who was biting were all very upset. We used to sit the child down for a minute or 2, but then forget about it, your child obviously was a bit traumatised to cry for that long!
You should just ask what their procedures are for discipline, and then say that your child cried all the way home etc. They should be shocked to know they upset her for that long. Children react to discipline in different ways, and its all about finding the right level of discipline for the child.
If your not happy you have got to talk to them about it though

at our nursery we also get the parent of the biter to sign the accident / incident book.
first this is what ofsted suggested to us
second it shows the parent of the victim that we take it seriously,
third it shows a pattern in behaviour for the biter
we do not tell the victims parents who the biter is

i also agree with the last post, biting for some children is a normal part of their development. they do not have the language skills to express themselves.
question where were the nursery nurses who should have been supervising?????
obviously looking after another child!!
if you have a baby on your knee, or changing a nAPPY,or even playing with a different child, a child is 10 feet away you cannot repeat cannot get there in time. even if you are psychic... one second children play happily, a split second later the child bites.

Which is where the staff ratio's come into play, when we had children biting on a reg. basis we tried to have an extra member of staff in to shadow the child, basically there to watch the child, to prevent any biting, whilst of course allowing the child their personal space. But there were times where it was impossible to get to the child before it happened, and we used to dread telling the parents of both children.
The funny thing was though, there was a parent who's child was bitten more than once, and they figured out who the biter was, and then upset the mum of the child that was biting! And then a couple of weeks later their child started biting, so they then knew how it felt to be in the other parents situation!

Well after calming down and thinking rationally I'm even angrier at the fact dd abviously wasn't being properly supervised and I have heard that nursery do tell the other parents which child was the offender.
I really don't think that dd is strong enough to pull a 3 yr old boy and a chair over, perhaps she was in the vacinity when he fell and she is getting the blame as another mother has told me that dd seems to get told off an awful lot when she isn't even in the vacinity of the incident.

why dont you ask if you could go in for an hour and observe your daughter.. (as well as observing everything else) say," you need to work together with the nursery,"
but remember yourdd will prob be a perfect angel (they always are when being observed) but use this to see how the nursery nurses react and interact with the children.

How old is she?

Although you have concerns about your own child, I am surprised, tbh, that your posts show less concern about what your dd might be doing with other children, and how you might adress that inpartnership with the nursery.

The only thing I can think that distresses your child so much, is maybe she was put in 'time out' for too long, have they told you how long it was? it should be around 3 minutes.

I would ask for a bit more information about both her behaviour and the way they approach disciplining children.

I would expect her to be disiplined for hurting other children, but I think that anything that reduces a child to uncontrollable sobs and crying at home was too severe.

I am very concerned as to the other kids as dd1 was constantly picked on at nursery by a child 2 years older than her.
I have spoke to dh and we have agreed to take her out of nursery and see how she goes, she starts playgroup in september so she would of finishe nursery then anyway.

By the way she was 2 in april.