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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Getting my 2yr old to stay at nursery

11 replies

kbaby · 15/06/2006 20:30

Anyone know how or have any tips.

So far shes been 3 times, the 1st time she stayed on her own for 1hr, the 2nd time she stayed the whole 2.5hrs but the last time she went she screamed the place down and wouldnt stay.

At the moment shes meant to be going for 2.5hrs twice a week. I need her to go as im due a baby soon and would like the break! plus I thought she would enjoy it.

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harpsichordcarrier · 15/06/2006 20:36

I think you can safely say she is not enjoying it . Do you think the anxiety might be to do with the new baby on the way, in which case how would you feel aabout delaying nursery for the time being, until she is a little older?
Or mauybe finding another form of child care, like a child minder or babysitter?
what do the nursery staff say?

006 · 15/06/2006 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LIZS · 15/06/2006 20:51

Is there a member of staff who would take her under her wing a bit for a few sessions and keep her busy and involved. dd started that young and was hard to leave at first but soon discovered it was fun and I would return for her. Always made sure I was one of the first back though and not first there.

Original poster

kbaby · 17/06/2006 12:04

I dont think its anything to do with the baby as ive tried to keep it all very low key. Plus she loves babies and seems to love my bump.

She is quite a clingy child but enjoys playgroups etc. The problem is she now wont go to them either as she says 'shell cry'

Maybe ill have to give 006 suggestion and stay with her for a few sessions.

OP posts:

pol26 · 18/06/2006 14:59

What happens if you leave her there crying? she must know that the crying upsets you and she gets to stay with you.
Doesn't her key worker try to encourage her to stay?
My guess is probably after you have gone she stops crying and enjoys it. I think you either have to be strong and let her go even though she cries or find an alternative.

Original poster

kbaby · 18/06/2006 22:57

The 2nd time she went she was ok when mil left but then after 1.5 hrs they called mil to say she was too upset and to come and collect her. The last time she went and she cried as soon as MIL went they said not to leave her as it may make her scared of staying and if she wanted to go then let her go home.

The problem I have is its MIL who takes her and I never really know if MIL is telling the truth or is afraid to actually leave her crying.

Sjes meant to go tomorrow so we'll see what happens.

OP posts:

bubble99 · 18/06/2006 23:05

Very few children settle at nursery without a couple of sessions of crying. Once they realise that mum/dad/carer will come back, they're usually fine.

She should have a one-to-one keyworker with her for these first few times who is free to settle her in and make her feel secure. Ask the nursery if she has a dedicated keyworker while she is settling in.

Original poster

kbaby · 20/06/2006 17:31

She went yesterday mil took her in and walked straight out. The care worker said that she creid for a bit but they settled her with a drink and painting and then she was fine.

Fingers crossed for Thursday.

OP posts:

Original poster

kbaby · 22/06/2006 21:44

Today was a disaster. MIL did the same thing ie said good bye and left.
DD cried for 2hrs!. Theyve suggested to MIL that she takes her every day next week for 1hr to get her used to going as maybe the fact that the sessions are so spread out is causing a problem.

OP posts:

agalch · 23/06/2006 07:15

Hi Kbaby

I'm on your July thread,hope you are keeping ok .Does your mil normally look after her while you are working? I wondered if you were taking her and staying with her and settling her it might work.I'm a childminder and i have minded kids who don't settle for anyone but mum and have cries buckets when granny/dad etc have dropped off or picked up.
Don't know if you are still working or not but might be worth a try when you give up.
What age is your dd? Mine is nearly 2 and although she seems to be looking forward to the baby coming she is very clingy atm and i think it has affected her as shes not normally this bad .
Hope you can settle her soon and have a much needed break.

Original poster

kbaby · 26/06/2006 22:18

Hi algach,

Thanks. MIL does normally have her every day and w thought it would be easier if she did the settling in as DD is very mumsy and wont normally leave my side. However it may be an idea when I finish work next week.

She was good in nursery today but spent the whole hr looking out the window and tonight when MIL brought her home she cried for her which she has never done and kept saying ' nana be back now, nana not leave me' and then being in hysterics when I said nana would be down in the am as she was with mummy now.
Its obv upsetting her and I dont know if we should give up or keep going a bit longer.
Shes going for another hr tomorrow.

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