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Is it wrong to give in and take a howling toddler out of nursery?

7 replies

KettleCHips · 11/08/2013 12:50

Hiya! My 2y 4m DD is going into nursery in a few weeks' time but had a really upsetting time during her settling in period in nursery last week. She ran around looking for me, screaming and crying, refused to settle; with 16 pair of horrified well behaved peers looking at her :( Finally I went back (we were allowed to look at the CCTV) and picked her up as I couldnt bear it. She has a lovely childminder and is well settled into the routine there having been there since 5 months of age but I thought she needed more socialising (m I mad?). Her language skills are good, and she has been clearly articulating to me in the last week that she wouldn't go back to nursery unless I stayed with her :( Should I just take her out of nursery - is there any point me pressing her to stay? I am sure she will be 'made to conform' in the end - but why am I doing this ??
Would be great to hear some views. Thanks!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
grabaspoon · 11/08/2013 12:57

If she is at a childminders she doesn't need to go to nursery - the childminder will give her just as a many opportunities as a nursery to socialise etc.

HSMMaCM · 11/08/2013 12:59

She doesn't need to go to nursery if you have a good CM. she will meet loads of other children out and about with the minder.

redcaryellowcar · 11/08/2013 13:04

I think its a bad idea to press nursery until she is ready, which clearly she isn't. I personally would defer for 6 months and try again.

FredFlintstonesSister · 11/08/2013 13:07

I don't have children yet, pregnant with number 1, but I remember my mother's attempts to put me in nursery when I was 3. I was inconsolable. I cried and cried. I vividly remember feeling real panic and anxiety. She made the decision that since I didn't need to go we would wait. Went back one year later and I LOVED it from minute one! I obviously just wasn't ready the first time.

KettleCHips · 11/08/2013 14:38

Thank you all. I have been told this is what is expected with every settling in period so felt that I shouldn't just give in. I needed the 1-2 days in nursery too to cope with more hours needed at work. Most of my friends who have their children there love it but thinking about it they have had their DDs and DSs there since age 6 months which means no separation anixiety to deal with.... This is only the second settling in day; she did ok for an hour on the first one...

OP posts:
Littlefish · 13/08/2013 18:56

I think if it was only the second settling in session, and she did ok at the first one, then at would be tempted to give it at least one more go and see what happens.

breatheslowly · 20/08/2013 22:07

How many settling in sessions will you do? Both of the nurseries DD has been to have been willing to do as many as it has taken to get her happily settled in.

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