14mo barely sleeps at nursery

[dekari]

My dd started settling in at nursery 2 months ago and went up to two days per week (thu & fri 8-4.30) 4 weeks ago. She initially managed her usual 2 sleeps just after her normal times (10 & 2 rather than 9.30 & 1.30) for a total of 1hr+ rather than the at-home average of 2hr+. She has a sleeping bag, bear and her muslin for comfort. These naps have got later and later, as she refused to sleep at those times either 'shouting'/crying or sometimes just chatting to herself in her cot in the sleep room for 30 mins apparently. She has no problems napping at her usual times at home (touch wood!) and often 'asks' me to take her upstairs when she gets tired.

Nursery don't have set times for naps so tried just putting her down when she seemed tired, as she clearly didn't want to be put down while she was still having fun playing... this worked initially but the naps have become more erratic until last fri she refused to sleep at all - cue disturbed sleep in the evening (lots of random noises and crying out) and a very overtired baby generally!

I've been over thinking it all week and fed back my concerns to nursery this morning, asking if they could maybe focus on getting her to nap once - after lunch - and hopefully establish a new nursery routine for her (different to her home routine). They ended up rocking her to sleep outside in a carseat for 20 mins just after 1 while the other kids played, so she didn't feel she was missing out (and could get more used to the noise - another issue, as the sleep room adjoins the play room/garden). She managed to nap for 45 mins.

Dd loves nursery and I'm generally happy with the staff etc. but they definitely focus more on play than rest - I'm getting paranoid that they think I'm obsessed with her sleep (which I am, but for good reason I think!) I put her down earlier at night when she's been at nursery and try to encourage her to sleep more on the weekend, but she takes days to catch up and get over being overtired. She'll be in wed-fri from sept, so will have fewer days to catch up.

I'd appreciate any advice... What should I say to nursery?

Haven't got much advice but think it is more normal to have just the one nap at this age. What naps are the other children at nursery having?

I think if you are generally happy with the nursery then you just have to let go a bit and let them do their job... they have a lot of experience and obviously have to get all the children into a similar routine. rocking her outside in a car seat seems a bit extreme but maybe they are just trying to comfort her for a while before getting her into their own routine.

her sleep routine seems a little strange if you don't mind me saying - 9.30 is extremely early for her to be going down in the morning. I agree with Jilted than one sleep a day is more normal, preferably after lunch which is what I think the nursery will aim for and what you should aim for to. She will have to adjust to the noise, which is always an issue with nursery sleep.

What time dies she go to sleep and wake up?

I don't think you need to say anything to them to be honest. I think you just need to let them get on with it and get her into a more normal sleep pattern for her age so that she is awake when all the others are and asleep when they are too!

sorry that should say what time does she go to sleep at night and wake in the morning?

Re reading your post, it sounds as though she is enjoying nursery and is growing out of the two naps a day in a darkened room with muslin/sleeping bag etc.

I think it's normal for children this age to sleep less and then catch up on non nursery days.

Thanks Reet... I talked to dd's key worker yesterday and we agreed that she should go down for 1 afternoon nap when the majority of others go down - after 1pm (great minds...!). She slept from 1.30-2.20, which is a great start! Feel much better to know it's being addressed and that this is a common sense approach.

She generally sleeps from 7-7, give or take 15 mins either side. I'm aware that she needs to transition to 1 nap at home soon and tried this just before she started nursery but she was exhausted by day 3 and begging to be put to bed by 10am - it seemed cruel not to! She's been so tired since she started nursery, I didn't feel she was ready to try again. Hopefully a new routine at nursery will ease the transition. Incidentally, many books/sites (e.g. What to expect, gina ford) say a 2 nap routine is normal til 15-18m although most people I know with older kids say they dropped to 1 nap around 1yo. I will definitely be focusing on this over the next month (dd is 14mo today!).

What she is doing now sounds more normal. Neither Gina ford or what to expect are evidence based so you can take what thy say with a huge pinch of salt. If you want some evidence based information on sleep try isis online

agree with jilted....

dekari - I have a 14 month old dd at nursery too and she doesn't sleep much at all, usually around one 40 min nap after lunch. (In fact I posted recently on the same topic!). I compensate by putting her to bed early and letting her sleep as much as she wants at weekends.

I did worry about it when dd first started nursery but I've just had to accept that she'll sleep less. Provided she's generally happy at nursery (she is, she can't wait to go in the mornings) I can live with that.
She's developed so much since starting nursery and has become much more adventurous and is comfortable with new people quickly etc. That more than makes up for a few missed naps. We did think about a nanny originally but we wanted her to be with other children, learn to share etc.

I wouldn't worry too much about what's normal, it varies so much. We tend to just put dd down when she's tired or try to do what suits our plans for the weekend (eg a long nap in the morning leaves us free to take dd out for the rest of the day which works well for meeting other friends with kids). Before long they won't need a nap at all (and how we'll miss that:)