Settling in procedures - is 5 sessions enough time??!!

[HeyBaby]

I return to work in a week's time now and am a bit disappointed with our nursery's settling in procedures. Their official policy states that a programme should be organised preferably on consecutive days (even if DS is only attending PT) in order to make the settling in period more effective. Despite this, the baby room staff have said that they only have the babies in on the days which they will be attending and so far DS has only been there twice (for a couple of hours then 3 hours) and has 3 sessions next week building up to 4 hours.

This doesn't seem like nearly enough time for him to settle in especially as when I start work he will be in for 10 hours at a go! So far he has been ok, but I am pretty sure some of that has to do with the novelty factor of having so many toys and people around. I am worried that once that wears off he will start becoming upset. I am not really happy with the settling in procedure but I have been told that due to the number of children in the facility and the number settling in, they cannot facilitate more sessions as they can only have a maximum of 15 at one time.

For the past two sessions the staff have assured me that he was fine even though he was crying a bit towards the end of the session. They don't seem to think he will have any problems. He is relatively independent but it is a pretty bit difference being with "strangers" for 3-4 hours compared to 10 hours! I am aware that I only have 4 days this week and I'm not sure what to do?!! I am apprehensive about starting work again and don't want to compound this with worrying about DS crying uncontrollably every day at the nursery although maybe this is inevitable and happens to all mums starting work again?

I do know that another mum whose son attends the day care centre was told at the end of his "settling in" period that the staff didn't think that her DS was ready to start but, like me, she was due to start work already so there was really no leeway! Apaprently he was quite happy initially (like my DS) but started getting more upset when he realised it was a permanent thing and the fun wore off! I am extremely worried that the same thing will happen with my DS.

What is "the norm" and what can I do about my situation? Please HELP!

Can't offer any proper advice as will be facing the same thing (IF i ever get a job!). The nursery I've picked says they keep the ft kids as busy as possible, some of them sleep in the afternoon, and with meal time thrown in, they don't have time to miss mummy! They have offered me sessions of 1 or 2 hrs at a time when I get a job, as many as needed, but I could be like you and only have a week to do it!! I can't afford to put the kids in for full days whilst I'm not working to get them used to it.
Are you working full time? Can you ring up through the day to see how things are?

how are you getting on?

How old is your DS, Heybaby?

The staff at DS' nursery told me that the children often don;t seem to notice if they are there for longer than usual. DS had to stay for a full day recently (he usually goes 5 x half days) and he was fine (he is 2.2 though).

I would however, in your situation, want to make sure he had been there for at least one 8-10 hour stretch before I actually started work.

DS' nursery were extremely flexible with settling in but they are not full and a very small unit, so they have floating staff as well as keyworkers.

He settled in over a 2 week period, did not go every day, but did do the full 5 hours on the last morning before I started work.

My DS is only 8 months old! Today is his last session and the longest one he will have had - 5 hours! But next week when I start work he will be there for 10 hours (double his longest settling in session). Unfortunately our nursery is really full and he was on a waiting list to get in there in the first place. I'm not sure what else to do since I start work on Monday but I am finding it really heartbreaking seeing him cry when I leave and sometimes when I pick him up, especially as he is generally really sunny and hardly ever cries when we are at home or out and about. I feel like it is a harsh reality check for him and he isn't even 1 year old yet!

Then again I do know people who have taken their kids to day care at 1 y.o. and they still cry when they are dropped off even after they have been going for a few months!

I suspect they can only take him when he would be there because of numbers (after all you would be less than amused if they were going over thier numbers settling in other children).

Do you pay for the settling in sessions? TBH if you really wanted a full practice day the easiest way to do it would have been to start earlier so he could have had a full day when you were at home. Unless you're paying for the session then I think a full settling day is unrealistic.They also have to be within their numbers as well of course.

if you want my honest opinion I would just spend the last week of your ML with your baby and not worry about settling in. I think if he has been there and is familiar with the premises/people/routine then that is enough and a few more sessions will not make too much difference.
I was in the same situation - dd1 was 11 months old - and in fact we only did two short sessions before I started back. the important thing imho is that you are as relaxed as possible and so is he - and you won't be if you spend your last week worrying. imho you can't recreate a 10 hour session without in fact just leaving him for ten hours - which you will do next week anyway. The idea of getting him used to it is a bit artificial I think. The staff say he is going to be OK so just try to relax if you can.
hth

My ds had just 2 settling in sessions before he started nursery. He was only 6 months so he settled in fine. I think most babies probably don't notice the difference between 5 and 10 hours. Do you have the option of working short days at first so you can pick up your baby early?

My honest opinion is that you are getting worked up because you are leaving your precious baby to go back to work (a prefectly natural and usual reaction by the way) and are being a touch too anxious about this. I think 5 hours as a length for a settling in session is sufficient. And agree with jimjams point about the numbers when settling. Your only way round this would have been to book his start day earlier than your return to work.

I think he will be fine. Really and truly. Neither of my children had lengthy settling in sessions but both settled in to nursery well. And now at just 2 (she started at 5 months) I have to drag DD away.

How's the nursery and work working out?

Hi all of you mums, hopefully i can offer a bit of advice. I used to work in a Nursery with babies, and I am sure that although the settling in procedures dont seem long enough, that by the end of their first week they will be getting the hang of it. The majority of the time, when they cry when you leave, you can guarantee they stop as soon as you get out the door!! Im sure the parents never believed us!
Ps - AS TEMPTING S IT IS, ALWAYS SAY BYE BYE TO YOUR CHILDREN INSTEAD OF SNEAKING OUT, EVEN IF YOU ARE ENCOURAGED TOO!!1

Kids have been for 2 trials at mine now and love it. It's took about 20 mins to get them out of there, and dd didn't scream for me, as the staff were fab and kept her distracted as I went. I just said "see ya later kids" and ran! Crept back to listen - nothing. She's definitely better if I just say see ya and go rather than doing kiss/hug/mummy loves u/be back later etc.
Staff have told me they're fine - trying to believe them!!