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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Keeping DS in nursery when new baby comes

19 replies

PenelopeLane · 23/04/2013 12:06

I am interesting in views/advice on this - I have a new baby due on my DS's 2nd birthday, and we are wondering whether or not it's worth keeping DS in nursery after new baby arrives. DS is currently in nursery 3 days and likes it and learns a lot there, and if I kept him in, it would be for 2 days a week, 9 - 3.30. We can afford it, but it would certainly be at the expense of other 'nice to have' things. An added complication is that he has to leave his current nursery at the same time the baby is due (it's only for under 2's), so will be transitioned to another nursery in the weeks leading up to his second birthday as well. The second nursery is owned by the same people though, the staff in the two keep in close contact, and he'll move at the same time as 3 of his wee friends.

Has anyone done this? What do you think? Any advice appreciated

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Choccywoccydodah · 23/04/2013 12:12

I don't have experience of this, but my friend has a ds just turned 1. She has just gone back to work ft until her dd is born in August. She will be keeping ds in nursery, firstly because it took him a while to settle, and to take him out, then try and put him back in, for her, would be murder! Also the thought of having to look after a 16 month old and a newborn on her own while her dh is at work terrifies her! (First dc ivf, second dc a complete surprise!) Secondly, it means she has that all important time with her newborn. She won't be taking as much time off with the second one as she's only just gone back to work, but to me this totally makes sense :)

Original poster

PenelopeLane · 23/04/2013 12:14

Thanks! I posted in pregnancy too as am being all hormonal about the issue and can't think clearly!

OP posts:

Choccywoccydodah · 23/04/2013 12:17

Ha ha, you're entitled to be :)

Iggi101 · 23/04/2013 12:19

I haven't done this, but my ds1 started school the same time as I had ds2, and it was an absolute godsend to have some time with just the baby, especially in those early days of bf on the sofa for hours. And could actually sleep (or at least rest) while the baby sleeps. So I think you should do it, could be better for them both.
Personally I'd rather have it spread out, eg four mornings instead of 2 days.

BowlFullofJelly · 23/04/2013 12:25

I'm in a similar confusing position penelope - my DS is with a childminder full time, and had planned to move him to a nursery when he turns 3 and gets the 15 hours funding, which would be Jan.

However DC2 is now due start of October. Don't know whether to move him to nursery a few days a week now, then drop down to 15 hours (or less) once baby arrives, or leave him with childminder, dropping hours when mat leave kicks in, and then transfer to nursery in Jan. Am worried this would be too close to baby arriving.

Also keeping him in ANY childcare between October and Jan will be a financial stretch - doable but not easily - but not sure I will cope with him and baby full time, and also he is so used to being out of the house I think he would be very bored at home with me full time.

No advice for you, just wanted to let you know I am sharing your confusion

MissLurkalot · 23/04/2013 12:28

Yes, keep him in, even with slight change with moving up.
Keep your son's routine the same.. Mainly for him. Not a good time to go changing things unless you 'have to'.

You too will welcome this, with new baby here.
Yes, you'll need to get him there and back, but you will need some time with new baby. It takes the pressure off you in those all important early days, when you don't have to entertain a two year old aswell as a new baby.

As long as he is happy at nursery and you can afford it, why change it?

We all suffer with waves of guilt with impending new babies and how they affect our other babys. Make sure when you do have your two year old, find time to do things with him. If you can manage to put baby down inbetween feeds, don't always let them only sleep on you. A habit we can all fall into... Swaddle new baby in thin giant muslin sheets if you can, put baby down, and play with your son. Or, just cuddle him on the sofa watching a DVD... They want you, not necessarily an expensive and energetic trip out somewhere.

I'm pregnant with no 4( (last one for us now)) and I have kept the routine going for all of them, and new baby has learnt from day one to slot in to our family life. We've had major amount of cuddles, but we've also benefitted from putting them down in between feeds in the crib or buggy downstairs. Not religiously. But just tried to balance it.
And that was even breast feeding. Is managed to express so others could feed baby, we introduced bottles with in 2 weeks occasionally.

Have baby, will travel is our motto ... And we've always like to let family and friends hold the baby.. Pass the baby!
Sounds daft, I know, but it's worked for us, triple fold.
Laid back, relaxed attitude.

My two year old is in nursery two days a week, whilst my two girls are at school. All routines will remain the same, and the plan is that new baby boy will settle in nicely... Hey, who knows, he might not, you never know how things will go, but that's the plan anyway.

Congratulations on your new baby coming soon. Enjoy! It's such a wonderful wonderful time and it goes by all too quick.
All offers of help accept, even for another day... And just relax and go with the flow...

Liveinthepresent · 23/04/2013 12:29

I am planning to keep DD who will be 2.3 in her nursery for three days a week when DC2 arrives.
I may reduce the days as my income from mat pay drops - but think it will be good for her to have the normality for the first 6-8 weeks at least.
A friend of mine has just done the same and I know she relished the days when it was just her and the newborn.
Am hoping this will be my chance to recharge and sleep when the baby sleeps

meditrina · 23/04/2013 12:32

I kept mine in. I knew how tired I would be, and that I'd need to crash when I could. You cannot catch up on sleep with a bored pre-schooler around. Also, I thought it was likely to be good for elder DC if I didn't make changes in their lives (on general idea of: I wouldn't start nursery then, so why stop? If it was right for them to go before new sibling, why does it become wrong?)

Also, I knew I'd be returning to work. That made it affordable, and I didn't want avoidable changes in their routine.

And of course if you want a family day together, you can take them out easily. Or, once madness of newborn days are over, decide to reduce hours when you know a bit more about what your family is like with its new member.

craigslittleangel · 23/04/2013 12:33

My DD is staying at nursery when my second child comes along. She also loves it and learns loads.

As another poster mentioned, its the routine that is important for the older child. I will definitely spend a lot of time with her when she is at home. And her dad and I will alternate collecting her from nursery, so she can get a little extra time with each of us during the week.

pepperrabbit · 23/04/2013 12:34

I kept mine in when the next one arrived, it made a huge difference to my sanity just to have some time when it was just me and the baby each time. Keeps the bigger one's routine and gives them something just for them (now that they have to share mummy.)
The only down side apart from the money of course, is that baby will settle into a beautiful routine which will ALWAYS clash a sleep/feed with pick up or drop off

MissLurkalot · 23/04/2013 12:38

Bowlfullofjelly... 15 hrs of childcare won't go very far at a nursery. You'll get more time for free at a childminder or play school setting.

Also, you will have more flexibility with a childminder than a nursery.

That all being said, I personally feel that children benefit more from a nursery or play school setting than with being with a child minder, especially when the child gets older, two years plus. I think it helps them settle into pre school and school better.

You decide when, but I would move him to nursery or local play school setting. I know it's all down to the all important pennies, but I personally think the sooner the better.

BowlFullofJelly · 23/04/2013 13:48

That's exactly what I was thinking MissLurkalot - our childminder is great, and takes him out to loads of groups, but always intended to put him into a more structured nursery setting at 3.

I think the happy medium will be to put him in nursery for a day or two asap, with childminder for the rest of the week - this will keep costs down, but he will be settled in the new environment before DC2 arrives, then drop childminder hours when mat leave starts. Rather nursery than playschool, as will be going back to work after mat leave and playschool won't work then.

Unfortunately I am the main wage earner, and I get only statutory maternity pay, the pennies have to play quite a big part in my decision

MimsyBorogroves · 23/04/2013 14:51

I kept mine in. He loved it, and not being there when he had been in full time since he was 9 months plus a new baby would have really thrown him.

That said, as I'd had to change jobs I only qualified for MA but as I was already getting childcare vouchers they had to keep paying those for me - at the company's expense. I found that out on here, and when I asked employee services I was told it was true, and that it wasn't something many people did - they usually just cancelled them. I pointed out that if they actually told people more people would do it...

BowlFullofJelly · 23/04/2013 15:38

Mimsy how does that work then? I haven't signed up for Childcare vouchers, but if I do it is salary exchange. So wouldn't that just be deducted from my pitiful mat pay?

Original poster

PenelopeLane · 23/04/2013 21:17

Thanks for the advice - I am convinced to keep him in!

OP posts:

Iggi101 · 23/04/2013 23:17

I pay my childminder the same amount per day as I used to pay for a day at nursery - not sure why cm is seen as cheaper?

MissLurkalot · 24/04/2013 07:47

Here where I live, nursery charge £47 per day or £23.50 per half day. There is no flexibility. 8-6pm or 8-12.30 or 1.30-6pm.
You can tailor the day to make it cheaper with childminders, but also, we found childminders were cheaper per hour, when my daughter went to one. It was more per hr (pro rata) for nursery.
I also had flexibility during school holidays being a teacher with our childminder,, whilst no flexibility unless you give 5 weeks notice.
We are super lucky to have found a fab nursery that offers a school day.. 8-2.45! Perfect for us, despite the 6 mile round trip!
He does two days there, and when he's nearly 3 yrs, he'll attend he local preschool that is attached to the primary school. So, he'll do one or two days at nursery and a few mornings at preschool. They way he'll get to know his class mates when he goes to school.
It really helped when both my girls attended the preschool when the started school... It was just a continuation really, and they knew most their classmates and teachers and school.

Meglet · 24/04/2013 07:51

Yes, I did. DS was only in for one morning at nursery but he had time to do messy play, tear around with his friends and have a hot dinner. I was able to have some quiet time with baby DD or run errands (so much easier with just a small baby).

mamalovebird · 24/04/2013 07:56

Just to echo others, I'm due dc2 in 7 weeks and we've decided to keep ds1 in nursery wen she arrives. Everyone I have spoken to have said keeping his routine constant with the least possible upheaval will be better for him. Plus he'd just be bored rigid stuck at home with me and a baby all day. He'll have much more fun with his pals at nursery.

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