Hi. I'm new to this so please bear with me!
My DD has been going to the same nursery for almost a year now, just one day a week, but recently she has become a biter, a habit that I am mortified and so upset by.
She doesn't do it every week but I have witnessed her doing it when her personal space is breached so I know there's a reason - she hasn't just randomly bitten.
When I picked her up I dread going in to the "we've had a couple of incidences today" comment and disapproving look and handed the book recording it for me to read and sign.
The problem is I dropped her off one morning and before she had even got across the threshold her greeting was "oh hello xxxx, are we going to have a better day today?". It wasn't just the words it was the tone that just screamed at me oh good, here's the biter. This is from the newly promoted playgroup leader! It was so negative that I just felt awful leaving my DD there as after a week of not seeing her the first thing they bring up is that she'd done something the week before. Surely what happens in one session shouldn't be bought up the next time but I understand that they do need to watch her to try to prevent it happening.
I left feeling very upset and in hindsight I should have discussed with the manager but I had to go to feed my baby and the manager wasn't there anyway.
When I picked her up after a session a couple of weeks later, my DDs former key worker (and former playgroup leader) saw me and asked if I was ok, obviously sensing that I wasn't entirely happy. I explained to her what had happened and believed it was ok to discuss with her as she was the deputy manager. She told me that I really needed to speak to the manager and I accepted that but it was good to speak with her and put me more at ease. I then got a call from the manager the next day telling me that a couple of members of staff had heard to talking and that I had mentioned the name of the worker that I had the issue with and that I had been completely wrong to speak to her about my issue. She was quite aggressive down the phone and I apologised saying that I thought it was ok to speak to her but was told that she wasn't the deputy manager and it had made a problem for them. The person I spoke with was not indiscreet or unprofessional about their colleague in any way, she just listened to me having a bit of a rant about how the atmosphere seemed to have changed and that it didn't seem to have the same vibe in the room any more.
I didn't want to make a big issue of it in the first place but I've now go to go in, be told off again and set the record straight.
I'm dreading it because I feel quite intimidated by the manager (had an unpleasant experience with her before and have had to raise a couple of issues previously so I'm convinced she thinks I'm a neurotic mother anyway).
I can only apologise but am worried now that I'm going to be treated differently and so is DD when we go there. Should I change my DDs setting? Please help!