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So how long did your dc cry for when dropped off at nursery?!

5 replies

cheeseandmushroomtoastie · 14/08/2012 09:02

Week 2. DS aged 2.2. This morning he started whimpering at home. Really really sobs when I drop him off, staff assure me it's only for a few minutes, I believe them but I get teary too. Tell me it gets easier. Please. If he is still upset in a couple of weeks should I get worried?

Also he isnt eating his snacks it lunch there but one step at a time right?

OP posts:
Ginismyfriend · 15/08/2012 08:53

It gets easier, it really does. DD was the same when she started nursery (quite a bit younger than your DS though - she was 12m) and improved gradually over a few weeks. She's loved it ever since, although has been going through a clingy phase again this last couple of weeks (just coming up to two now) and I know some friends with similar aged children have found the same, so it may be he's started just while he's going through an attachment phase?

How does he seem when you pick him up? DD is always having a ball when I go back to get her (one of my favourite things is watching her playing before she realises I've arrived) and this gives me confidence that the upset passes quickly. Does he have a comforter he takes in? I found that helped, also letting the staff know about songs and stories DD liked and they used this to help her settle.

Rosebud05 · 15/08/2012 08:58

Both of my children cried when i dropped them off at nursery for quite some time... DD kept it up from 18 months until she left at 4.5. Separation/transition is difficult for some children and I had enough information to know that they were happy there.

Your ds's not eating would concern me more. Yes, it's perfectly normal for a day or few days but how many has it been? Refusing to eat sort of suggests that he doesn't feel settled, although it may be that he's not a huge eater at home?

MamaGeekChic · 15/08/2012 09:02

DD1 is 15 months, she started nursery 2 full days a week about 5 weeks ago, the last 2 times we dropped her off she hasn't cried and has gone in willingly :) thank god! I was getting strange looks arriving at the office with my mascara all over the place.

wannabedomesticgoddess · 15/08/2012 09:08

DD was completely fine for the first month. No one could believe how well she settled in. But then she had a wobble and would start crying quietly in the car gradually building as we got closer and closer.

But when I went to pick her up she was playing away, happy etc.

A girl I went to college with had a wee boy who wouldnt settle at all. She would phone to check at lunchtime and he would still be screaming. IMO she was so worried about leaving him every morning that he picked up on it. She would go pick him up early etc (dont blame her, he was usually hysterical) but maybe that confirmed his fears more I dont know.

Just try to keep calm, all smiles. Then crumble when he is out of sight. It will get easier!!

cheeseandmushroomtoastie · 15/08/2012 09:59

Thanks for your responses. Eating wise, he is normally a big eater, but I think he has breakfast too late in the morning to want a snack at half nine, nursery starts at half eight and he has normally finished his breakfast around eight. Yesterday however I gave him slightly less breakfast though and he ate his lunch there! So will try giving him his usual breakfast earlier.

I also have been calling to check to see how he is after I have dropped him off, he is always fine, and I do trust he is happy there. For example this morning, he was starting to cry in the car, but did get out of the car, crying. When I have dropped him off at his grandmothers, he refuses to get out of his car seat and will keep trying to buckle himself back in Grin

One of the issues the key worker has picked up on is that he doesn't like being told to what to do, not from a discipline point of view, more from a choice one. He lives playing outside, gets upset when its time to go in etc. also refused to sit on the floor for story time, wanted to sit on the chair. Hmm always sits on the floor at home....

He takes something with him from home everyday, doesn't really have a comforter as such, but might start putting a fave toy in his bag to give when I pick him up?

I knew it wouldn't be easy, it's just he cries SO much, and he never cries otherwise. Its also only his second proper week so I know I need to give it time. And the easiest thing to do the nursery staff tell me is to leave him as soon as I can, ie not to stand cuddling him for ages like this morning

When I pick him up he is happy, I also watch him to see if he is ok and he is always happy. I can also see a change in him already, he now shouts all the time at home as in talks very loudly, and skips everywhere Grin. He also told DH to 'listen' yesterday by putting his hand on his ear and cocking his head.

Thanks again for replying, will update if things don't improve.

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