18 month old bitten at nursery

[emilybella]

Hi,

really not sure if I am posting in the right section but I am desperate for some help/advice.

My LO goes to nursery full time, she loves it there and until recently I didn't have a single bad thing to say about it. It all changed about a month ago when after a long day at work I went to pick my LO up and was told she had been bitten by another child. He bit her finger and left teeth marks/bruising that lasted around 3 days. At first I was upset but nursery assured me that the child that bit her didn't do it in a malicious way etc so after a bit of googling and seeing that quite a few toddlers do bite I decided to let it go and try and not get too worked up about it...

She has since been bitten 3 more times by the same child, twice on her arm and once on the back of her hand. Each bite has left considerable marks on her and I am just about at the end of my patience with it all.

The last time she was bitten by this child was last Wednesday, my mother collected my LO on Thursday to be told she has been bitten by another child. We have asked and asked about whether my LO is doing something to antagonise these children and they have said it isn't anything she is doing.

Nursery have told me it is perfectly normal for a toddler to bite when they are frustrated and it is similar to a tantrum. I am having trouble believing that the child isn't doing it in a malicious manner when the marks are as bad as they are and the places she has been bitten, surely the child would have had to hold her arm to his mouth to bite her...she would hardly give her arm to bite??

I understand children have behavioural problems and my LO isn't perfect either (she hit the terrible twos at around 14 months old!) but am I reasonable to expect nursery to be taking further action. Apparently the child who has bitten my LO numerous times has also bitten other children. They insist that they have taken the issue up with the parents and they are working together to resolve the problem however it clearly isn't working.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation and had it resolved? I'm probably quite a strict mum and so tantrums etc are resolved rather swiftly in our house so I may be expecting too much too fast. Just need some advice on what other people might do? Can't help but feel increasingly guilty that I am leaving my LO at nursery all day to be bitten and the last thing I want to do is change her nursery.

Emily xx

It's horrible that your child has been hurt but it is normal behaviour at this age and is not malicious at all, they are children!!
As for nursery what further action would you suggest they can take??

Why the other child bites is not your problem.

You are right to insist that they don't let it happen again to your child. They are responsible for safeguarding your child. It's up to them what & how they achieve that, you can't insist that a chronic biting child be banned or isolated, but you can insist that yours be kept safe. You can reasonably tell them you will move her if she's not kept safe, if you're willing to consider that.

I think 3 bites is enough for you to make some noise about keeping your child safe.

However, don't get arrogant. Your child could easily become the biter in future. Think how sensitively you would want the nursery to handle that.

hello. im a nursery nurse and have been since i left school 8years ago. firstly yes toddlers do bite and its just a horrible phase aswell as hitting, pinching etc BUT when they know of a toddler that bites this child should be "shadowed" to prevent them biting. so when they do go to bite another child there is someone there to stop them. unfortunatly this isnt always possible but it doeant sound like they are taking it seriously and not doing anything to prevent it and just palm it off as "toddlers bite" because they cant be bothered to atleast try and prevent it. i hope you LO is ok. ive been biten so many times and it hurts me. they really need to try and protect the other children although the biting child isnt doing it to be horrible xxx

Being a parent of a 'biter' I really hope you never have to be in my shoes. My ds is 15 months old and when he is teething or gets very over excited he has been know to bite other children at nursery. He too has been bitten by other children but as a mother of a biter I understand it's going to happen. I would like to say its not as easy as telling them off, removing from the situation. It's a long process and yes I feel terrible for the parents off the children my ds has bitten but just think about if the shoe was on the other foot. Your nursery should be working alongside the biters parents and providing a shadower for the biter. Our nursery also do a 'puppet show' with the biter to try to get them to understand, not sure how much they understand but atleast they are actively doing something.