DC stung by wasp, staff didn't notice - is this a big deal?

[AndImFeelingSoBohemianLikeYou]

DC (3yo) was recently stung by a wasp (I assume) while playing outside at nursery. The first I heard about it was on the way home. I immediately. I immediately noticed that the body part was swollen, as well as a second sting on finger which was the result of DC picking wasp up after first sting. DC seemed happy and fine at pick up time.

Spoke to nursery staff the next day, and after quick team consultation they were apparently 'mortified' they did not notice DC being stung, but they did point out that they had several staff outside and that they are 'pretty vigilant', and that most children would probably cry quite loudly, so therefore they would have noticed it if it had happened at nursery.

Well, it DID happen at nursery, and I'm very uncomfortable that they do not seem to quite accept this. I know they can't control the environment, but DC told me that staff were 'busy' when told of stings, so I just really don't know what happened.
One of the stings turned blue within a few hours, so must have been very painful.

I feel very sad that my small DC experienced this with no immediate comfort. Nursery's reaction has left me seriously underwhelmed, and I now find it difficult to trust them. I also thought the manager would say something to me to show me that she had been informed, but she hasnt.

Is this normal for a busy but 'outstanding' nursery? Do insect stings just happen and staff just get on with their day? As DC had never been stung by anything before, I would have wanted them to inform me for potential allergy reasons.

What kind of reaction would you expect from nursery staff who are told they apparently didn't notice this happening to a child in their 'care'?

Did he cry? If he didn't cry and just got on with things, then I can't see how you could have expected them to know.

It does seem a bit odd though

Well, if they had no knowledge of it happening then I can't see that they are at fault, unless they failed to respond to your DC being upset. But maybe your DC was not overly distressed.
To be honest I don't think it does children any harm to learn that they can cope with minor problems without the need for adult attention each time. Makes them more independent and confident. Obviously though if he/she was really distressed and the nursery had not responded then that would be a matter of great concern.

Well, DC told me she did cry and her friend gave her a cuddle and then told staff who were 'busy' (DC's word). They might have been busy with a child who was more seriously hurt, who knows, but if this was the case, then I still would have wanted to be informed.

I just can't think your DD was that upset. Unless you're saying that the nursery completely ignored a child in distress.

They've apologised, they've told you that most children would cry quite loudly (implying your daughter didn't) so I'm not sure what else you expect them to do?

Wasps are a fact of summer. I've been with my DS 1-2-1 and he got stung. I knew because he made a fuss and he was stung on the face. If he hadn't complained and it had been on another part of his body, I probably wouldn't have realised

I've only been stung by a wasp once and it was pretty bloody painful, so that together with the fact that DC told me she did cry makes me think she cried and they didn't notice her crying. They have her pigeonholed as a 'gentle soul' (their description), so I've been wondering if they sometimes think she makes a fuss over nothing.

My DS was stung by a wasp on his hand last summer in our garden (he would have been about 2.9). He WAS crying and I comforted him, he calmed down - but I didn't realise that it was a wasp sting until about 10 minutes later when he said something about "when the bee bit me". (I had thought he'd just bumped himself on the hand.) I then looked at where he said he had been bitten, and I realised that it was a wasp sting. I would not have known if he hadn't referred to it soon afterwards, and the mark didn't last that long IIRC.

So possibly it wasn't that obvious to the staff if your DD didn't tell them at the time and didn't make a load noise about it?

Perhaps, but DD is articulate enough to tell people - she told me the whole story within a few minutes of walking out of nursery. She's really interested in 'bumble bees' (ie any kind of flying brrrming insect!) at the moment.

I keep having moments of doubts about this nursery and how they do certain things, and I'm trying to balance pfb-itis with some idea of what I can reasonably expect from them.

Fair enough. Alternatively, perhaps she did tell them, but if she'd very chatty maybe she told them as one thing amongst very many things (Ds2 has 3yo friends at nursery who are one long stream of consciousness..). Or perhaps she said lots about it to the children but nothing to the staff??

It does sound a bit odd, but I wouldn't worry if it's an isolated incident. But if it's one of a series of things, understand that you are a bit worried.

Nursery IS a group setting, and IME my kids act more independently and 'self controlled' there than they do at home. Have you tried getting to know the staff (hang around for a few minutes at drop off and pick up and get chatting) - this can help with communication about your DC.

Is it a day nursery where she's doing long hours, or just the standard 2 hr a day deal? If a day nursery, try turning up mid-session one day 'just to pick her up early' and see what things are like then??

It all comes down to trust really.

My DD1's nursery informed me of the fact that she had fallen over and hurt her lip, they couldnt see any damage and she ate her lunch etc so a cold compress and a cuddle was given. I notice when we got home that half her tooth was missing!

I could have gone ape, but I trust the NNs that care for her and I know that they always try their best.

If youve lost faith in your DCs nursery I would suggest having a really good think about if you want to stay with them.

It does sound worrying to me - I'm sure your daughter would have had a bit of pain (I've also been stung twice in the past so know what it's like) and not to have been comforted or seen to afterwards isn't on really.

The sting could have been stuck in her for a while, making the pain worse and also being stung raises the thought of an allergy and a child with an allergy needs to be seen within seconds (not saying your daughter has an allergy but seeing it was the first time who could have known)?

I had to carry an epipen for one of my mindees at all times but thankfully never had to use it.

Yes exactly - she's never been stung before, so I had no idea if she'd be allergic or not. And sometimes the first sting sensitises people so they have a reaction the next time, so knowing she got stung would have been useful for this reason too!

Tbh, I have lost faith in her nursery a little bit. Everyone says 'the facilities are excellent' and they are. The management are absolutely lovely, and I think they're great with babies. But in the over-3s group the staff ratio is different obviously, and that really seems to affect how much attention they give each child's emotional well being. Eg, DD has been really clingy at drop-off time, talked to staff about it, but they'd still sometimes rather sit and chat to each other than actively get DD involved or even say hello. I'm not too pleased at the moment.