what do I do?

[lachey]

Hi,

I am new here but I hope someone has some words of wisdom.
Yesterday, when picking my DD up from nursery, I was told she pushed another child, who fell and bumped her head. They have taken other child to the hospital to be safe, but I was told the other child does bruise very easily so looks worse than it already is.
Obviously, I was very upset, and can just imagine how the mother of the other child must feel. I guess that I am just worried that a)the other mother will feel quite angry because my child has caused this, and b)what the outcome will be from the nursery. I don't want the to dread DD going in and am worried that they will tell me she has to leave.
Does anyone have any advice or been in a similar situation.
Thanks

bump

mention it to the nursery tomorrow morning, let them know you are concerned and not indifferent to what has happened.

perhaps say something to the parents involved? or do you not know them?

Don't worry - the nursery will not blame your child for this. Thy do tend to blow up any incident like this (my ds has bitten a few kids in his time - but been bitten too) but it would have to be absolutely terrible before they would exclude your child - remember they have to deal with special needs children so a little push is not going to be an issue and your child (and you) cannot be responsible for another child's vulnerablity to bruise easily.

As for the other mother - well she has made the decision to put her child into nursery (even if it is not full-time). If you abdicate the responsibility for looking after your child you cannot be precious about these incidents. (My child is in nursery full-time and I take the view that these things will happen - though I would be clearly be upset if something happened which was avoidable such as children being allowed to play on a swing or slide unsupervised for example, but biting, pushing etc happen). Kids will be kids and they are very young and learning. Other parents and the nursery staff have to recognise that.

No, don't know the other parents, and I even wish that I could apologise just to let them know that I have had a strict talk with DD and explained that no way should she ever do this again, and she seems to understand and is very apologetic.
The thing is though, they might not know that it was my DD that did this (the nursery aren't allowed to say), but kids aren't silly and will happily tell (as my DD often does). I know things like this happen, but it is still quite a shock and obviously upsetting. I just don't know how to handle this.

Nursery policy is normally not to tell the parents of the child who was hurt who did the hurting, just that she was pushed by another child. This is to avoid situations where parents might start getting aggressive towards other parents. My daughter got bitten at her nursery when she was about 2 and they showed me the bite mark and what they had written in the accident book but didn't tell me who had done it. My daughter did though!

I accept that if I put my daugher in a nusery with 24 other kids aged 2-5, some injuries are likely at some point, just like when they are playing with other kids out of nursery. I would only be really angry if the nursery staff had been negligent and she was hurt as a result of their inattention, or a much older child had hurt a little one.

It won't hurt to ask a bit more about the incident and see if it is anything you can talk to your daughter about in more detail. At one point, my daughter got quite aggressive with one girl, which was out of character for her, but then I found that this bigger girl was always trying to pick her up and she didn't like it.

Thanks Hellywobs, I totally see what you are saying.
DD is the same - she has done things like bite, etc, but these things have happened to her as well. I think I am more understanding when these things happen to my child, because I know how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot, and wouldn't blow up a situation like this. But parents who have "perfectly" behaved children tend to make a big deal out of these situations. They are just children at the end of the day, and they are still learning boundaries and right from wrong, and don't know the consequences of their actions.
But it still is worrying, I am still fretting about it, so will have a word with the nursery tomorrow.

How old is your dd?
My dd is one of those perfect kids - who seems to get bitten all the time. She's 2.5 and tells me all about who did it and why and what was said by who to who. I think if the other parent gets upset then they're being over sensitive - they are only little and most of them don't do too much on purpose (they're still learning that they're actions have affects).

Particularly if your dd is one of the younger ones at nursery - IMO the nursery have to deal with it at the time as I don't think you ever really get through to them after the event at home. It really does happen to everyone - try not to worry too much

My DD is 3,and the other child who was hurt is the same age.
I know I am probably worrying over nothing as they are just kids, but its the fact that the child actually had to go to hospital that bothers me. The nursery did assure me that she was fine and that they took her just as a precaution, but it does seem like a big deal.
Thanks for all your help, I'm probably just over reacting a bit. Thank God for mumsnet to calm me down!!!

They took her to hospital because it was a head injury, not because it was a bad injury.

I thought my 3 year old ds was angelic until I started sending him to nursery, then I found out he pushes, scratches and bites, and gets pushed, scratched and bitten.

I know Jowen, they seem to just transform the minute they step into nursery don't they!!!