How is it possible to afford to have a job and a baby? :o((

[LydiaBarnes]

Hi,

I'm new here so I apologise if this is the wrong board . . .

I'm approaching my mid-thirties (i.e. menopause!!)and I would love to have a baby with my partner. Both of us are lodging in separate places due to a loss of job on my part (and I'm working towards another career) and debts on his. I earn £15k, he earns £21k per year (both work full time).

Due to his situation, if we had a child I would have to bear the childcare costs for at least 2 years . . because I wouldn't/couldn't give up my job. Looking on the web, this indicates that it would cost £45 a day, which is £900 a month! Assuming that I'd get child benefit, this takes it down to £820 . . My salary after tax is £1,090 a month, my rent is £200. Which would leave me with £70 a month for food, fuel, telephone bills :o((

I've read something about Working Tax Credits - would/could I get these, and does it make the whole thing more manageable??

How do existing mums manage this situation? It seems horribly unfair to be 'priced out' of having children in this way . . . thanks for reading!

Have you looked at the HMRC Tax Credits website?

taxcredits.hmrc.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx

You can see what you are entitled to on here. It asks about your current situation so you'd have to invent a baby if you see what I mean. I just had a little look and it seemed to say you would get about £9K in credits. I really don't know if that is right though so I would do it yourself (I said you had no partner - not sure if that would be the way to do it but I think if you are living separately then you would be counted as single - again I don't know but you could play around with different scenarios).

Surely your partner would contribute to the baby as well if he is earning more? You could also get childcare vouchers from your work where you can put aside £243 before tax to pay for childcare which saves about £50 a month. I think this can affect the tax credits though and below a certain income you are worse off doing this so I would check.

Sorry it seems so tough - sure you would find a way through.

It is expensive, but the way I look at it is that the nursery years don't last that long, and if I were to give my job up to stay at home and look after my kids I would find it very difficult to get back into my line of work, especially a part time job like I have now. So, we have a few years of no spare money but I know that things will improve.
Don't forget that from 3 years they get 15 hours free a week (term time only), and based on your income you might even get free hours from 2 years (no idea, worth investigating though!).
And who knows, perhaps you will earn a bit more in the future, or benefits will change. Plus the amount you have left for food etc will/should be supplemented by your partners income so you wont have to live off tesco value baked beans....

I've been thinking the very same thing!

Lavenderlois: I understand that the nursery years are short but what if you want two or three kids?

I'm 29 and want kids but don't know when to start. My rent for a one bed flat costs over £1,000 and getting a bigger place will of course cost more. Nursery fees are £1,300 around here... My partner and I are lucky because we earn really good salaries but that also means we don't get any help/discounts/tax credits. We'd like to buy a home but saving for a deposit will be impossible with children and we don't qualify for those first-time buyer schemes.

It really does seem like a choice between career or family. Did anyone feel similarly before they had kids? How did you prepare?