How good is your nursery?

[Jennlx]

My 2 y.o. DS has been in nursery since he was 10 m.o. We were initally pleased with it, but it is rapidly going down in my estimations. Problems are:

• Never introduced to new staff in room so have no idea who is looking after my child (and they have no social skills, cannot seem capable of even saying hello)
• New manager, again, no introductions
• Very rarely any feedback offered from staff beyond how many times he went to the toilet and what he ate
• When I try and ask them to do anything (e.g. help with toilet training) they agree and then forget/don't bother/never hear back
• No priority placements for siblings

My DS is fairly ambivalent about the whole thing. He's never happy to go nursery in the morning but seems to be happy when I pick him up (no guilt there, obviously). And before I get SAHM bashing - we cannot afford it, much as I would love it.

So my question is: how happy are you with your nursery? Do you love it? Are there minor issues you ignore? All the other parents at the nursery seem...well, quite frankly not to care too much about it all. They pick up and are gone in 5 mins flat. Am I being too precious? Is this all I'm getting at a 'cheap' nursery? (£38 per day)

The nursery my children go is Outstanding according to Ofsted. I've thought so for the last 3 years. None of what you describe goes on. There is low turnaround of staff because they all love working there. Children and carers form great attachments. My kids love going, and it makes it a damn sight easier on me knowing they're being well cared for by people who love them. It's hard enough leaving kids to go to work without feeling it's not the right place for them.

I wonder consider £38 per day as cheap either, but I imagine that depends on where you live in the country.

Are you able to look for alternatives? I hope you can find something you prefer.

*wouldn't not wonder...

I think that sounds a bit poor, and would start looking around for others. My son was at an OK but not fantastic nursery for a year and I found it hard to relax - it felt like a real compromise. He's now moved to a fantastic nursery and it's a huge weight off my mind. It's worth looking again at options now your son is two - some don't take them till 2 or get much cheaper then so you may have more options than you had when you were first looking.

I know what you mean about new staff, what I used to do was introduce myself to them and ask we're they now working in the room my DS was in.
Feedback - is there something specific? At the nursery we used ( I'm assuming this is private daycare) it was such a rush of parents at pickup/drop off time there wasn't much time for chat. Maybe make an appointment if there is something specific you want to discuss eg potty training.
Siblings - if it's a private business then no obligation to prioritise siblings.

I was one of the "don't care" parents - at home time I just wanted to get out of there and get home!!

At the nursery we used there was always a picture on the door of any new staff with some information about them (ie student placement, transferred from another nursery). Similarly when someone left there would be a note on the door some weeks beforehand explaining when they were leaving and why.

Always got a little chat about her day and what they'd been doing. Really eating was the main thing I wanted to know TBH.

I did find that if you told one person something at drop off it didn't seem to actually get passed on. I think that can be a problem in a larger nursery.

We had a fair number of minor niggles that I got quite upset about at the time. Like we weren't told which pre school room she was going into and they started taking her there on visits at what was a diificult time at home. Had they discussed it with me I would have asked them to wait. Trouble is you have to remember that while your child is quite rightly the most important person to you, the staff have another 20/ 30/ 40 children to think about who are equally as important to their parents. So you aren't ever going to have everything 100% as you would like.

DD is now going to ASC at a different nursery and I hate it! With the direct comparison her FT nursery was 1000 times better

Interesting feedback, thanks. We are looking around for another nursery, but we live in Surrey and also now have to consider my DD who will also be FT so money is a huge issue. I have visited much better nurseries but outside of our affordability.

It's a small nursery, only three rooms - the staff and manager were brilliant when I started but they all got poached to work in another nearby nursery in the chain (useless admissions policy so would never get a place there). There are a few very good members of staff, but just as many unenthusiastic/uncommunicative. And I kind of expected the new manager to introduce herself around but she just smiles and walks away when I pick him up. OK, OK, I could engage her but irked that paying such a wad of cash...

Just wondering what the status quo is really. Honestly, I appreciate that they look after so many other kids but they could be robots when I pick him up: "he's been really good, (whatever) for lunch, ate it all, 3 wet nappies. He's been really good". I just would like more feedback - what has he done all day? Reading, learning (about what?), outside? Doesn't help that I collect him at nap time, I guess...

I love the nursery my 2 dds go to and genuinely believe their lives are enriched by going there compared with if they were at home with me full time. We've had none of the problems you describe in your op and I've found them 100% supportive with potty training etc. and I get detailed feedback about their days.

We pay £43 per day which is below average for the area but the nursery is fantastic.

And in respect of the siblings, I do get it - but they were so dismissive on the phone, almost to the point of rudeness (and I was just adding her name to the waiting list, not making any demands). It was just a bit like "we want money money MONEY MONEY MONEY and so don't really know or care if we can cater for your daughter". Yes, yes, it's a business and all that - but what about customer service? You would never guess that I contribute to pay their wages...

Hmmm....ok, rant over, sorry. I think I'm getting my answer: I don't like this nursery and need to continue looking...anyone know of a nursery in London/Surrey that charges less than £1,600 for 2 fulltime places? :o

When I asked for a place for dd2 10 months in advance I was shocked to find they were booked up for the next 12 months, then very relieved when they added that they always held a few places for siblings which I thought was really good of them though I wouldn't automatically expect it.

It does sound worth you looking at some others - good luck!

Hi and very sorry to read this post as seems others are frankly suffering this too , ours is a sure startnursery and i pay £44 a day, my DD hates it at 4 and has been going since 6 mths, recently changs in staff ( key worker moved to other room grrrr) new manager who did not give the other key worker team leader room clearly because she mis carried and then moved her to different room even though she did not want to move! we now have an older lady that appears to look down her nose and feels clearly above her station as to not even say hello let alone introduce herself! never even greets the children hence DD hates going now and apprently 'Julie ( new leader) shouts at me' says DD, so after a complaint to EYFS they are investigating nursery as this close to school i dont know what would be more upsetting to DD changing child care at this late date? so if you have any concerns EYFS are very good and handle the matter seriously. I did go to manager at first but she kept advising me its not financially viable for her to do anything and quite clearly consistancy for the children was not her priority! Good luck and hope it sorts soon xxxx

We've used 3 nurseries for 3 children.

The first nursery was "outstanding" according to OFSTED, sounded fabulous on paper, had to book a visit to look around, all lovely, very clean, lots of new equipment, almost "posh" ifswim. Signed children up. When they started (twins) it used to niggle me that they were always referred to as "they" - never "he's enjoyed X" and "She's enjoyed y". They were seemingly happy there but the lack of feedback / communication was an issue for me, as was the fact that we dropped off / collected them in a large hallway, never seeing what went on in the classrooms. The staff were nice enough, but mostly 18/19/20 yr olds, early 20s, seemingly high staff turnover. So I started looking for other nurseries..

Went on a waiting list for Nursery 2 and got places 10 months later. When I told the manager at nursery 1 that we were leaving, she asked why and I said because there were a couple of things that I'd been unhappy about. I asked her if she wanted to discuss them and she said no, she'd been a parent of 3 for the best part of 20 years and there was nothing I could tell her about looking after children. ....That confirmed it!!

Nursery 2 couldn't have been more different. Still clean but a bit tatty round the edges, but chatty staff with genuine interest in the children, loved feeding back what they'd been doing all day, were cuddling the children most times when I collected, they just really seemed to love them. Children were there until they started school (2 yrs). Never questionned my decision.

Moved areas by time Number 3 was born so needed another nursery. This is fabulous. DD2 runs in, absolutely loves it, most recent member of staff joined about 10yrs ago. The issue with this one is avoiding the owner if you end up in a conversation with her, you'll still be there 20 minutes later!! She knows every single child, what they do, what their favourite activities are. Very hands on. Mountains of feedback - verbal, newsletters, emails, regular updates, one to ones and always notification if the staff are moving rooms.

I would say you have to listen to your instincts - I think if you are unhappy with the nursery then you should change. I don't think price has anything to do with it - Nursery 2 was cheaper than Nursery 1, they shouldn't be provided "better care" just because the fees are higher. Yes, they might have more facilities or a couple more members of staff, but the standard of care should be the same.