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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Have you removed your dc from a nursery? What did you say?

11 replies

mosschops30 · 15/05/2012 21:48

I am thinking of moving ds1 out of the creche he attends.
He has being going for a year for 2 hours, 3 times a week.
Hes now there 3 full days a week, sobs from home to creche (20mins) and has started crying in all car journeys thinking hes going to creche.
They say hes fine and stops when im gone, hes always happy when i pick him up, but i find drop offs too stressful.

His childminder has offered to have him full time, 4 days a week.

WWYD? And what do i say to nursery because i think they are wonderful but i just think ds would be better in a home environment

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StealthPolarBear · 15/05/2012 21:49

We removed DS because he kept getting ill. We just said we needed him to be well again and needed to do everything we possibly could to give him the best chance to recover from whatever was getting into his system.

AberdeenAgnes · 15/05/2012 21:52

(hello again)

I moved DD1 out of a pre school I didn't like and just lied through my teeth I'm afraid said it was because the journey was too far and I'd found somewhere closer. That was, strictly true, but I would have been happy to have made the journey if the pre school was much cop.

Bellared · 15/05/2012 21:55

Bless him. How long has it been going on? Have they said how he is once he's there? I had to take DS1 out of nursery for a serious matter that occurred and told them straight why I took him out and they understood. Do you think it could be separation anxiety?

PavlovtheCat · 15/05/2012 21:55

mosschops just tell them what you said in the OP, that they are a good nursery but you feel he is thriving better in a home environment so he will go for his entire childcare time with his childminder. there is nothing else you need to say. they will understand, and if they don't, well, tough!

Zoonose · 15/05/2012 21:59

I would just be honest and say what you said at the end of your OP about him not being happy despite your positive opinion of the place, and you think that as an individual he is better suited to the home environment so you've decided to put him with his childminder, and thank you for all they've done for him etc etc. Not all children are happy in a nursery setting, even if it is good.

thunksheadontable · 15/05/2012 22:02

What AberdeenAgnes said.

Really I felt it was chaotic, no one really seemed to like him or know who he was and they didn't let us into the room to drop him off or collect him. Also he was always ill. I have since met THREE other mothers whose children have broken LIMBS in there. THREE. I went with my gut, I'm not really sorry I lied... there was just something that felt not quite right.

snoopyplaystennis · 15/05/2012 22:04

I would just tell them the truth, there is nothing insulting about your reasons, different kids require different types of childcare. I removed my dd after a few months as she just wasn't ready. I felt a huge relief when I made the decision.

bigredtractor · 17/05/2012 13:10

I've done this and we were honest - a better place (for us) opened up nearby - a new nursery. I even told them why it was better, e.g. more outdoor space. I thought it was important for them to know. Didn't enjoy telling them, but it had to be done!

Original poster

mosschops30 · 17/05/2012 20:16

Thanks for the replies.

I went to see the nursery manager and she asked me to give it four weeks. She said if he hasnt settled by then i can take him out with immediate effect. She said shes seen this so many times and that hes having to make huge adjustments atm. So i agreed, he will try 4 more weeks.

He went to his cm today, he cried initially but after 5 minutes she sent me a pic of him tearing round the playground laughing

im so torn, why are there no magic answers?

OP posts:

RuthieU2 · 19/05/2012 09:05

Hi I am a nursery nurse and a Mum. Its really hard leaving your little one when they are upset. I have to go through it a few times everyday my little girl is at nusery and I have to go into her room. It pulls me apart. As soon as I leave she is happy. She loves nursery! Leaving your little one with the same person each time where possible should help. He should have a Key worker to do this. Distracting him with something he really likes and a favourite toy from home should help. The best thing to do is to leave really quick and then phone back later. Why don't you ask them to take some photo's so you can see him happy. That always reasures me. If he doesn't settle I would definatly move him to his childminder but makesure you send him to a good preschool so he is ready for school.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 19/05/2012 21:27

Thanks ruthie.
creche were very good and took a video of him playing football in the garden, but even watching that i still felt that he looked a bit lost, he didnt seem to be playing with others, but im nit sure if thats normal or not at 2.5?

Deep down i want him to be with the childminder, she looked after ds1 from 10 months til he was 4. I feel so guilty about taking him out f nursey though because they are lovely. I know i should trust my instinct but im not sure what the right decision is

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