DD very upset at nursery - unsure what to do.

[Babyblue2]

DD1 is 2.11 and is starting pre-school in April (5 pms per week). Since she was born she has been solely looked after by me and hubby (mainly me) and we have had no outside help due to no family. In readiness for pre-school we enrolled her into a private nursery for 2 pms per week to get her used to being away from me, plus she kept wanting to interact with other children more regularly. She started to attend nearly 2 months ago. Every time she's been she's been either hysterical or very tearful when she's gone and when I pick her up she keeps saying how much she's missed me and there are tears in her eyes, today she was still crying and had been on and off throughout. I don't know what to do. Do I perservere with her for the next 5-6 weeks only for her then to have to move or do I just pull her out now and pay the 4 weeks notice? I'm wondering if the best thing is to pull her out now so that its out of her mind a bit before she attends pre-school. I don't want her to suddenly become happy at nursery and then have to move, but I don't like seeing her so upset at being there.

I dont have any advice I'm afraid babyblue2 but wanted to express my sympathy and bump this up the 'active conversations' page as I'm sure someone out there can help you.

if she is that unhappy i would pull her out tbh as it is only for a short time, maybe she just doesnt like that nursery, or maybe she willfind pre schoolmore interesting with more things to do. Take her out and enjoy the time u have until she goes to pre school as like u say she may think that it is always upsetting to be away from mummy

Do you know how she is once you have gone. It may be that there are tears at drop off & pick up time - but shes OK in between??

It might be easier when she's going everyday and its part of her daily routine. Do you get out and about with her lots - playgroups and all that?

Im kinda swaying towards pulling her out but just need to know what others think or whether anyone else is going through it. Its heartbreaking. I can get over the crying when she goes in but when she's in the car coming home she's relatively quiet and she'll suddenly say 'mummy i missed you' and you can see her eyes welling up. Its horrible

Maybe take her out - will the new pre school allow you to take her to show her round prior to starting - she may just wander off and start playing.

They always tell me that she's ok when she's there and they specifically told me today that she had been quite tearful. We used to get out and about quite a bit but DD2 came along in March 05 and we went into business on our own and got rid of a car which has left me stuck in a village with no transport so she's pretty much been sheltered since then. That does change next week when we're getting another car. DD's won't know whats hit them, we'll never be at home. I'm hoping that when she does go 5 pms that it will be easier for her.

i know what u mean about the heartbreak i only left dd there for an hour but she was crying when they left, i was in floods of tears and she was fine 2 mins later, and has been trying to pack her bag to go again, but i hated it! I did big it up loads saying what a big girl she was for going to nursery, maybe she is fine when she is there, but prefers mummy to nursey sotries to make u feel guilty so u dont take her again

The pre-school are doing a home visit before she goes so i'll raise these particular issues with them. I'm scared of mentioning the word 'school' for fear of hysterical-ness. As it is she says to me nearly every day, 'mummy i'm not going to school/nursery'. Occassionally when i've picked her up she's said 'mummy, i told you i didn't want to go to school'.

hope it gets better for u soon