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What would you do... Unkind teacher picking on DS

7 replies

LadyLotty · 10/05/2012 21:05

DS is just shy of 3. He goes to a private, large "outstanding" nursery. He is a sensitive boy, a bit shy with new people, but v verbal/explains himself well.

A few months ago, there was an incident whereby there was a floater teacher (Teacher S) whom he didn't know working in his room. he was tugging himself (wanting to go to the toilet, was recently potty trained at that time). instead of taking him to the toilets, teacher S had a big scream at him in front of the other children and made him feel utterly ashamed and awful about himself. He was very tearful for ages and took other staff a long time to settle him that day. He regressed with his potty training for a good few weeks after that, intentionally wetting himself, wouldn't let us change/touch him etc. Directly related to that incident (he referred to it all the time).

I was told of the above incident by his key worker that day - she found him in a "terrible" state and reassured and sat with him etc for ages and comforted him. So none of the above were "assumed".

Following that incident I had stern words with the nursery head as well as teacher S in question. Teacher S denied any wrong doing. But apologized nonetheless. The head was v sympathetic, played down the incident but apologized also, had talks with all the staff etc.

Teacher S was also kept out of Ds's classroom for a while (not my request, maybe it was management action but maybe just coincident since S is a floater anyway). But now she has been working in his room from time to time again.

I found out tonight from my DS that she was singing songs with the children in circle time and only excluded my DS in her songs (didn't sing his name out but sang everyone else's). I feel sure this is not a mistake but very deliberate. I picked him up this afternoon and also saw her giving me dirty looks.

My concern is there will be continued off-hand, small, unfair handling of situations going forward by this teacher towards DS.

What would you do in this situation?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HecateTrivia · 10/05/2012 21:06

move my child to a different nursery.

LadyLotty · 10/05/2012 21:14

Moving nursery is not very easy (shortage of nurseries in my area and very long waiting list...) thanks for the thought though - and if I could I would instantly...!

OP posts:
TiggyD · 10/05/2012 21:19

Tell the nursery. They might be looking for an excuse to get rid of her.

dribbleface · 11/05/2012 13:11

the second incident, how do you know she didn't say only his name? the first incident is unforgivable, did the head say if the incident was dealt with i.e. disciplinary for the staff member? if that was one of my staff and i could be sure the incident happened as you describe i would sack them for gross misconduct.

insancerre · 13/05/2012 10:57

I would complain in writing about the first incident and request that this woman is not involved in caring for your child. As a parent, you have that right.

LadyLotty · 16/05/2012 20:16

Thanks insancerre, is that not being a bit unreasonable? The nursery manager has already strongly hinted that its their role to allocate staff and i have no right to get involved...

OP posts:
insancerre · 16/05/2012 20:30

I think you have every right. You are the customer, after all and you have every right to withdraw your child from ths nursery and send him elsewhere if you are not happy with the care you have received. I work in private day nurseries and so have an inside view. Most nurseries listen to their customers and do not want to risk losing them.

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