Would you expect nursery to have informed you of this?

[BirdyBedtime]

DS is 3.4 and goes to nursery (private) 3 days a week. He moved into the pre-school room in January when he turned 3. Whenever we pick him it we're always told 'he's had a good day' or 'he was a bit clingy today' etc but have never been told anything about his behaviour.

Yesterday when DH collected him he mentioned that DS had told us he'd been put in time out for something (fair enough) and DH commented that he's not an angel. The room leader (who is his key worker) said 'Oh no, he's not - we have to take him out of circle time after lunch quite a lot for being disruptive (not sitting still, talking etc)'.

I was really surprised that if it is happening 'quite a lot' that it hasn't been mentioned to us before now. Would you expect to have been told about this? We are pretty involved parents and like to discuss things with our DCs and talk about how we can solve problems, so I'd have liked to have known about this earlier to chat to DS and reinforce how important it is to sit quietly at circle time etc (will do this now). I have asked the key worker to give me a quick call today to make this point but just wondered what people thought.

I think you're being perfectly rational and reasonable. You're in partnership with the nursery in that if something of interest to them whether behaviour, faddy food, potty training etc you should tell them, and then of course they should tell you something like this.
After all, if you know, you can also help manage it when with your child at home whether a quiet word, or reinforcing the positive behaviour
I'd be cheesed off if I'd heard something had been going on and not told. YANBU, good luck x

How long are 'circle times'? What goes on during them?

In other words, are they too long, boring and crap?

YANBU. I would be irritated because how would you know if there's a problem that could be nipped in the bud early on? My CM let's me know if my DS has thrown temper tantrums or bit one of the other kids and hes only 18 months so less in control of his behaviour.

Thanks. The key worker didn't phone yesterday (they had an uannounced inspection!) but DH did speak to her when he picked up DS. Apparently they don't really view it as a problem so to speak but she did apologise that it hadn't been mentioned and agreed to let us know things like this in the future so we can't really complain I suppose. I know there are one or two children in the room who really are very disruptive so this is mild in comparison. I suspect circle time is a bit boring for an active 3 year old but he does need to learn to sit and listed even if he is bored as he will have to do this at school nursery after the summer. I suspect it's maybe just an energy burst after lunch as apparently he is fine at morning circle time.

To be honest, I wouldn't see a 3 year old not wanting to sit quietly at circle time as a behaviour problem so wouldn't speak to the parents about it.

as a pre-school worker myself, even though we try to make circle time as exciting as possible most 3 yr olds (even the angels) dont sit perfectly for it and i dont see this as a behaviour problem, it just a typical 3 yr old. i personally wud only speak to parents reguarding behaviour if it was something that concerned me e.g hitting out, anti-social etc unless otherwise stated by the parents that they wanted to know if their kid was sitting quietly for stories etc.

Agree with the previous 2 posts, it's developmentally appropriate to not be able to sit- I wouldn't worry a parent about this. Would prefer to focus on positive feedback if the child is within earshot.