Ok need some advise am i being fussy

[oimoomoo]

Im a first time mum and my ds is 2.5 years old, I put him into a nursery which seemed lovely and he seemed to like during the visit. I don?t know where to start:

The first 3 times he went running in and sulked when i picked him up (he had never been away that long from me before) he seemed to love it - the nursery also said they do not have settling in sessions so i just had to leave him.

When i went to look around they all had pegs with their name in the hallway and parents were able to go through the door into the play room to drop off/pick up, now we have to leave them in the hallway (with a staff member to take them through).

He doesn?t have his name on the peg as they wait 6 weeks before putting his name on, which has lead to him coming home in wrong nappies,( have spoken to nursery and it seems to be sorted, as does the him not being told where to get a drink from) he also doesn?t have a red book (to tell parents what they have done that week etc, and i don?t know how we see it as we don?t go in the play room)

there is more but the thing that worried me is the last 2 sessions he screams and cries and try?s to climb up me and never wants to go in, he cries from the morning as soon as school is mentioned, and the last 3 times i picked him up he has been upset this is slowly getting worse.

he came home 2 days ago and has been hitting me and when i say ?no that?s mean? he says sorry, but yesterday he said "big boy hit me" (the nursery don?t have separate room so all ages are in the same room) he keeps saying ? hit my arm, and head no like school?

I rung the nursery this am (he doesn?t go today) but the manager said, i can?t say it hasn?t happened but no one has mentioned it to her and I wouldn?t be told anyway unless it resulted in a injury.

Does this sound right? does it sound like he has just had a bit of a meltdown as he realised he is going - I know kids may get hit at school, but should he be so upset he was crying this morning as he thought he was going?

I know this is so long but I?m looking to see if I?m being over protective and kids all go through the crying loads stage, i don?t know if i should take him out or not? i spoke to nursery who said tell the staff member in the morning to keep an eye on him (the don?t have key workers) thank you if you got through the end of this...

Alot of children do go through the 'melt down stage' when they realise that they've got to spend more time at nursery, we originally seemed like fun. Also as you pointed out you are aware that children get hit when in a setting situation. So on that basis alone i don't thin you have anything to worry about greatly.

However, there are a few things that you have mentioned which would worry me. Every setting has to have a settling in policy, and provide settling sessions (Assuming your in the UK), these can be done in a variety of ways but should be done. Also the managers response seemed a little lacklustre, and it is her job to inform the nursery team caring for your child and ensure that they are doing their job, not you. You should be asking the nursery team if they know of the incidents that your child has mentioned. Don't worry about coming across as pushy. It will ensure the staff are more vigilant with you child to find out what is going on. They may not need to fill in a ccident form but if you mention it to them the next day, they should be able to tell you what happened in most incidents- not always though. Also under the EYFS statutory guidance which all settings (in England) have to obey, they have to opertae a keyperson system, this is not an option! It is a tricky one, that i think you have to answer with your gut instinct. sorry not much help

No Thats fantastic thank you, Ive decided to remove him because of how upset he is even at the thought of going along with the information youve given me on settling in sessions etc.

Thank you for your help

Completely agree with Lucylui25.

There are some alarm bells ringing for me about this setting. I cannot understand for a start why they would not label a child's peg. Good practice would be to have it labelled ready for him before he starts so he knows from day one where his things are.

No keyworker? That really isn't acceptable.

As for not allowing parents in the room. What are they trying to hide? Why are the parents not encouraged to come in, settle the child and be involved in their education? They really need to update their practice!

I think removing him was the right thing to do.

I think you made the right call. A lot of things in there would worry me, particularly the lack of key workers, settling in sessions and the fact that all ages are in the same room.

Never use a nursery with no settling in period/procedure.

Never use a nursery that doesn't let parents into the play rooms.

Never use a nursery that doesn't have keyworkers. (Unless there's only one real person in the room).

Being hit happens. Not wanting to go at first is pretty normal.

Not wanting to make a peg for 6 weeks gives the impression that so many children leave in the first 6 weeks they don't feel it's worth the time and effort in making one. Really dodgy!

That's 3 and a half red flags. Leave.