DD starting nursery soon - Advice please.

[BroomForMyChin]

My DD is starting nursery on 1st June, she will be 10.5 months. I'm absolutely dreading it, feel sick whenever I think about it and after reading a few of the threads in here about problems with nurseries I'm now in tears.

Is there anything I can do to prepare us both? I'm going back to work about a month after she's due to start (I wanted plenty of time to make sure she's settled). What's the best way to settle her in? I don't even know specifically what I'm asking I'm just really panicked about the whole thing. I hate the thought of her being miserable and crying because I'm not there.

Hi

Horrible isn't it? but as a survivor and my children seem to be thriving I can try and reassure you!

The biggest thing I think is to feel confident in the nursery you have chosen. If you like it and you feel it is a warm and caring environment then that helps.

To prepare yourself I think the best thing is to think of the positives. which for me was that my children were socialising, being emmersed in lots of different experiences and activities (things I am rubbish at like painting and arts and craft..) and that they were somewhere I felt confident with while I was working to try and give them a reasonable standard of living. I also have to say I needed to have some time that allowed me to keep my career going that I had worked hard for.

I know lots of people have had less that perfect experiences but I can honestly say my children have had a very consistent, high quality experience which they enjoy going to. There are sometimes things that go wrong or they have a cry but I know they are fine after a cuddle with their favourite nursery nurse .

The first couple of weeks are the worst, I cried loads but it gets easier. I cried loads with both of them and the second one was going to the same nursery so it was more about me than the nursery!!

Good luck and I think you'll be amazed by how your wee one copes!

p.s. enjoy the month of settling her in and make sure you do lots of pampering yourself before you get back to work

It's quite normal to feel like this. Have the nursery suggested a schedule for settling in? Usually they go for an hour or so with you, then an hour or so alone, then a morning. Are you happy with the nursery? Do you trust them to do what they say? We dropped in for a visit unexpectedly the second time and were happy with what we saw. If you've done all that and it seems fine she will be fine.

Sometimes babies cry when you drop them off. I used to stand by the back window where I could see DD but she couldn't see me, and within seconds she'd stop crying and be playing with one of the staff. She was always happy when I picked her up, and I made sure to vary my time

My DD started nursery at just under 10 mo 3 days a week, then FT from 15 months old. She remained FT until she started school. She loved nursery, and the nursery staff clearly loved her. Yes some nurseries are bad but most are not.

I can reassure you, nurseries can be great. I think the key is to be confident that things will go well. If you trust the staff who are going to look after your DD, then there will be no problem.
Your attitude is very important, if you are very tense about it, you are going to communicate that to your LO.
My DS goes to nursery full time since he is 9mo and loves it. He has favourite workers and has made real progress since he's started. He has never cried when I dropped him off. I have seen other children cry, but believe me it never lasts long. I have popped in during the day, and have seen the children engaged, feeling safe in the nursery routine and all of them looking quite happy. Every morning, I tell DS1, "yeah, you are going to nursery today, your are going to see X and Y, and maybe you are going to do this and that, yeah it will be so much fun". If you sound excited and cheerful about it, so will your child.
For her to be well settled, YOU need to be happy with the nursery. If you fret and get upset, so will your child. Your child can happy without you.