Is this usual for a first week at nursery?

[waddleandtoddle]

Before I get on my high horse with the nursery, I was wondering if the following things are going to be regular occurences and its just 'teething' problems, or my DS is not going to settle/is not being looked after properly.

DS is 8 months.

1st day spends pretty much most of the day crying, nursery struggle to get him to sleep and DS refusing drinks.

2nd day I pick him up, and he is still quite unsettled. Additionally I have to sign an accident form as he has cut his eye on a toy. They also seemed very keen to highlight the keyworker was in the room?

Today is his 3rd full day, and his clothes have been changed several times as he got all his dinner over him (not had this problem at home), his baby gro was soaking wet when I was given him, to the point saliva is like a fine film on his chest (i have provided several muslins as a front tooth is coming through) and he was chewing/sucking on a dummy - whos I don't know and it seems like someone has sat there to get him to take it as I've tried a dummy occassionally and as he is bf it is spat straight out.

He is still refusing to drink. His bottom is also starting to go red.

What do I do? The nursery is the best in the area, both from ones I visited and recommendation. The staff are not at the young end of the scale either.

Any advice greatly received!!

get another nursery

Sorry but I think Faye is right. The red bum and dummy pushing would be deal breakers for me.

Did he have any settling in sessions?

Dummy - easy mistake to make if they thought it was his, they are still getting to know him.

Dribbling - put a bib on him

Drinking - what does he usually drink from at home? Bottle/cup?

How many babies/adults are there in a room? A good Childminder might be a better option.

The first week in tricky. IMO, what I would do next depends on how they respond when you raise all these issues with them.

Like Rubirosa said, the staff do need to get used to your DS, but I'd be really bothered by all the things you described, too.

In my DS' first week (aged 11.5 months) I walked in to find that he was in a high chair, crying, with a nursery nurse trying to feed him mashed banana, which he clearly (to me) didn't want. After a rant at the Nursery Manager I discovered that the nursery nurse thought he was crying because he was hungry. Long story short, we got it sorted out very swiftly, but if they hadn't have done I would have taken him somewhere else.

Since then, I have realised that I wouldn't want him to be anywhere else - the (Ofsted Good) nursery is fabulous, when I compare notes with friends, and he's really happy to go there in the morning.

*is

I would wholeheartedly recommend swapping to a childminder! They can give one to one care and there is only one person responsible/answerable for your child's welfare. I'm sure there are brilliant nurseries out there but to me they seem impersonal and cold in comparison to spending their days they are apart from you with the same person in a homely environment.

I know I was lucky but our childminder was perfect and I was upset when it was time for DS to move on.

When your DS is bigger and would benefit from socialising/ educational aspects of nursery you could have a rethink.

I'm going to bring this up with the Key Worker tomorrow then, and it sounds like it will be okay to kick up a little fuss.

The dummy concerned me as he was actually sucking on it.

I'll give them a bib or two tomorrow, but it is their policy to provide them so you would've thought they had thought of that!

At home he always drinks from a cup, including his milk.

The adult/baby ratio is good at 1:2. Plenty of toys, intimate surroundings.

best advice we can give you - turn up unexpectedly from time to time

That reminds me - cups. My (BF) DS only ever drank from free-flowing type cups at home, not the non-spill valved tip which he never got the hang of sucking at. I took his own in - if I hadn't, I guess they would have told me he wasn't drinking too, IYSWIM.

I also got them to put DS on the menu for the next age group up, as he was good at lumpy stuff and finger foods at home by then, and the pureed stuff they automatically offered for his age wasn't what he liked.

1:2 is good - I think they only have to do 1:3?

I second the thing about turning up unexpectedly. I've personally never seen anything I was concerned about, but on the other hand it reassures me that I've never seen anything worrying, too.

I agree with rubirosa.
Your child sound unsettled and staff are trying to understand and learn about him. It's not unusual for children to be unsettled for a couple of weeks. When the child is used to the new routines and faces. Don't forget staff have a million things to do. Eg 3staff in a room . 1 is changing nappies while 1issetting up the messy activity that leaves one to look after the rest and she could be bottle feeding one. If ur wanting 1-1 care get a nanny.
Just think what would u do if someone put u in a different country and put food in front of u . Would u trust them straight away would u eat it if u didn't know what it was. U should of had settling in sessions to help ease the process .

How did you get on, OP?

Poor you and poor ds! What was the settling in period? Imo 8 months is a hard age for babies to settle which is sods law as that's the age most mums go back to work! I was room leader in a baby room and 1:2 ratio is excellent. However a childminder is one to one at that age so even better. Babis who are bf can be trickier to settle as its the one thing staff can't do to comfort them! Also bf less likely to have a dummy which does settle children in nursery especially as unfortunately they can't have one to one all the time.

Its early days he is still building relationship with staff and them with him. Muslin squares will not stay round his neck unless held on by someone I'm guessing so thick bibs would be better, ask how often nappies are routinely changed and maybe ask for his to be changed more frequently and send some cream.

A good nursery will work with you to help settle him and try accommodate his routine and not expect him to fall into theirs. If your not happy try a childminder.

as a nursery worker i wud say change nurseries, i understand they may have a million and 1 things to do but you don't leave a child soaking in their own slobber and giving them a strange dummy yuk! when a child is in their settle in period which takes a few wks a childcare worker shud be able to give 1 on 1. all these problems in 1 wk just doesnt seem good to me!

DS took a long time to settle at nursery (7 weeks) at nearly 9 months. I was able to pick him up and take him to the office in the early weeks so we built up the time slowly and if he got really distressed, the staff phoned me and I picked him up right away. It was so hard, I didn't know if I was doing the right thing, but the staff were brilliant and he totally happy there now and I trust the staff because they kept me informed and we worked together to get him settled. DS would not nap or drink at all there, which was one reason I built his time up slowly. For napping, the staff suggested bringing a top I had worn which he could snuggle with, which worked. For drinking, that took weeks really, i would express all this milk which just used to end up going down the sink and DS would just nurse all night.

I totally agree with butterybiscuitbase that the nursery should work with you. Someone should have gone over your routine and preferences in the settling in period so the dummy thing shouldn't happen. You should also know how often nappies are changed (at DS' nursery it is every 2.5 hours and when necessary). For cream, I have to sign a form as it counts as medicine but once I realised that, his bottom has been peachy. For the dribble, bibs should be available and changed regularly.

I think you need to speak to someone about these issues. The settling period is hard but you need to know your baby is properly cared for. I wouldn't be happy with what you describe.