Picking your brains re development at nursery and home

[FutureNannyOgg]

OK, quick background, DS is 21 months, and at nursery 3 days a week. I am 26 weeks pregnant with DS2, and have no plans to return to work after maternity. We are also moving area, so DS will be leaving his current nursery.

My options for the new town is either to start him at a new playgroup/pre-school in September (baby is due at the end of July, so we would get some settling time) for 2 days a week (maybe just 2 mornings dep on finances), or to not bother, but take him to a few toddler groups/singing/messy play type sessions every week to keep him socialised and doing interesting things.

He likes nursery a lot, runs in full of beans every morning, plays well with the other children, he settled quickly and seems to have friends. It's a good nursery, they are lovely people and do lots of activities with them.

I had a parent meeting last week though, and looking at their tick list of developmental targets I was a bit concerned, there are a lot of things he does all the time at home, that nursery say he's not doing. I understand that their assessment might be different to mine, but I saw a lot of things there which he has clearly been doing well at home for months recorded as not happening. I also commented that I have been impressed with how his language is progressing all of a sudden (he has 60+ words and short phrases and is starting to put together phrases like "look at the cat"), but the room leader said that he hasn't been using any recognisable language at nursery (but still babbles nonsense a lot).

I'm not sure if this is very usual and I am being precious, if they are not picking up on it because they are not used to his diction or as good at understanding him as DH and I, or if he is for some reason not trying to talk at nursery like he does at home.

If I was still working I would probably just carry on, but this has shaken my perception of how much he is benefiting from being in nursery while I am considering the options for next year, especially considering the cost with me losing my income. It just doesn't seem all that great that he is either shutting off and not talking while he is there, or trying to communicate and not being responded to, especially as he is dropping his signing as he learns words to replace signs.

Just wanted to get some opinions really.

Just to give an example, his book noted that he was playing with a car and saying "weeee", but at home he would be saying "look a car, it's a car, one two three GO" and that sort of thing. He also asks for milk, says thankyou (when he takes something, or gives it to you), names things as he hands them over to you to play with (or a book to read) that sort of thing, so there's a lot of verbal interaction at home they don't seem to get at nursery.

Children behave differently in different places. Put a child in a big hall and they start running. Take them to a library and they tend to be much quieter. They often eat different food at nursery and home as well.

Your child doesn't like to use language as much at nursery compared with home. That's fairly normal. Us nursery workers can usually recognise children who have been brought up at home by adults because their language is so much more advanced and mature than the other children. They also tend to stay with the grown ups at nursery and not interact with other children a great deal. It's swings and roundabouts. A child at nursery will learn social skills faster than a child at home with adults.

"Us nursery workers can usually recognise children who have been brought up at home by adults" as opposed to, what? Being brought up by wolves in a forest?
TiggyD is right, though, children do behave differently in different situations. We had one girl who didn't speak at all for nearly a year, despitebeing a chatterbox at home.They are all different. I wouldn't worry too much, he is still only young.

Its well known that children often behave differently at home to nursery. For example there are things that dd will do at nursery that she won't do at home. For example dd will go on the big toilet at nursery but at home she insists on the potty.

"I had a parent meeting last week though, and looking at their tick list of developmental targets I was a bit concerned, there are a lot of things he does all the time at home, that nursery say he's not doing. I understand that their assessment might be different to mine, but I saw a lot of things there which he has clearly been doing well at home for months recorded as not happening. I also commented that I have been impressed with how his language is progressing all of a sudden (he has 60+ words and short phrases and is starting to put together phrases like "look at the cat"), but the room leader said that he hasn't been using any recognisable language at nursery (but still babbles nonsense a lot)."

Mothers find it much easier to understand their children's speech than nursery workers. Home is a quieter place than the typical nursery and there is more time to decifer the the babble. You spend more time with your son than any nursery nurse.

I think that part time nursery is ideal. The child gets plenty of time at home to develop speech with one adult, but they also get the chance to learn new skills off other children. (Ie. Lisa gets a sticker for doing a wee in the potty, I want the potty as well!)