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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

ds still not settled-pull him out?

19 replies

samanthajm · 27/01/2006 17:40

Just picked ds 18mths up from nursery, fast asleep (only been in for an hour). Ive been trying to settle him in since Nov.I dont really need to put him in but thought it would be good for his development. He is very upset and is always sobbing when i collect him. They say he is off and on.my mum was angry today as he still had his coat on and was very hot.Im only putting him in once a week at mo for an hour but i just feel terrible

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hercules · 27/01/2006 17:42

I am surprised the nursery let you only use it for an hour as I thought most had a minimum time because of this problem.

Yorkiegirl · 27/01/2006 17:45

Message withdrawn

LIZS · 27/01/2006 17:49

tbh I suspect he isn't there long enough or frequently enough to estabish a relationship with the carers. ds would probably have done the same and opted out by sleeping or sitting quietly but dd had a different temperament and would have howled.

By not even taking off his coat it hardly sounds as if they are making him feel welcome, although he may well have resisted so much that they decide to leave it. How do they receive him when he goes in, are they enthusiastic and welcoming, trying to involve him in an activity or game with other children, or is it more of a passive babysitting-type scenario ?

I wonder if it is simply a case of wrong time, wrong place for him and I'd probably leave it for 6 months or more before trying him somewhere else. dd was very different after the age of 2. It doesn't sound as if it is doing anything positive for his development atm and you are not benefitting from the break by feeling anxious about it.

hth

nzshar · 27/01/2006 18:25

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Original poster

samanthajm · 27/01/2006 18:26

they sais they didnt like taking off his coat incase it upset him more. i pay for 3hours but thought one was enough right now. they are quite good with him but does feel abit like he isnt interacting

OP posts:

soapbox · 27/01/2006 18:29

I disagree - if the child hasn't settled within an hour then 2 more hours of misery isn;t going to help him settle any better!

I think any child that hasn't settled within 15 minutes of a parent leaving is likely to feel pretty miserable.

Not taking his coat of is neglectful - I would seriously question whether this is the right setting for your child!

samanthajm · 27/01/2006 18:29

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fannylover · 27/01/2006 18:30

so half the problem may be that he is tired as it's right over his sleep time?

i'd give up on it for the time being... or find soemwhere that can take him at a more suitable time

Katemum · 27/01/2006 18:32

Sounds like it is just the wrong time for him then. I would take him out and try and find something that fits in with him a little better.

gigglinggoblin · 27/01/2006 18:33

i would take him to toddler groups if that is the only reason. it took my ds (about same age) a while to not cry when i left him, but i did know that he didnt spend the whole time crying (i peeped through the window on the way out and he was fine!). agree an hour is a bad idea, and especially so if he is tired when he goes

mazzystar · 27/01/2006 18:34

couldn't you take him to a playgroup or two or a little baby class instead?

i agree with lizs, he needs to be there longer, more regularly for it to work for him

and better to send him in the mornings, rather than wake up ina strangle place?

Original poster

samanthajm · 27/01/2006 18:35

thank you. i think i will pull him out. im just paying to make both of us miserable. just feel bad for putting him through it all for nothing

OP posts:

fannylover · 27/01/2006 18:35

mazzy.... in a strangle place?
pmsl... no wonder he's unhappy!

Katemum · 27/01/2006 18:36

It was worth a try so don't feel bad. It just did't work out.

Original poster

samanthajm · 27/01/2006 18:37

thanks for all your advise everyone. its kinda wat i was thinking but wasnt sure if i was being an over anxious mother

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Tipex · 27/01/2006 18:39

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mazzystar · 27/01/2006 18:40

sorry - got a 16 mo on my knee "helping" me type!

don't beat yourself up sam.

samanthajm · 27/01/2006 18:44

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Original poster

samanthajm · 27/01/2006 18:45

better go and see to ds. thank you all

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