Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

Original poster

Can I refuse to follow a request by nursery?

16 replies

london111 · 24/02/2012 16:04

I have 2 children at nursery and I alternate which one I collect first. My Dd (3yrs) loves coming with me to collect my ds (1yr) from the baby room. The nursery has now told me I have to collect my ds first as my Dd was a disruption. I don't really understand their reasoning. My Dd stands by my side the whole time that I talk to ds's key worker and doesn't say anything ( she can be quite shy). My ds however is a complete distraction when I take him into dd's room! I don't want to collect my ds first everyday. I think it will upset my Dd. How can a nursery dictate the order you pick up your children?? Do you think I can just refuse? Has anyone else been asked this by their nursery? Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TrinityRhino · 24/02/2012 16:19

I dont think they can dictate this to you

can you just nod and ignore?

TrinityRhino · 24/02/2012 16:58

Bumping for you

Jnice · 24/02/2012 17:00

Say no and see what happens? I don't think this is any of their business.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee · 24/02/2012 17:01

Barking. I could understand it if she was running about and causing mayhem, but if she's behaving herself that sounds mad. Did you not ask them how exactly she is a disruption?

Maybe she's just sooooooooooo cute the staff can't concentrate on the pesky babies

milkysmum · 24/02/2012 17:02

if you feel strongly about it tell them you will continue as you have been. or as alreadt said just nod and ignore! they sound pretty snotty about it to be honest.

Indith · 24/02/2012 17:03

I'd ignore them and carry on. It owuld make me very tbh, the nursery ds went to encouraged visiting between siblings in different rooms and would merrily take the older ones down to the baby rooms for an hour or so to play with their siblings!

EdithWeston · 24/02/2012 17:06

It's important enough to them to make this totally innocuous request, that costs you no effort and will ease things for them.

I'd fall in with their wishes, as I would have no desire to make their life harder over something like this, even if my impressions didn't chime with theirs.

Pozzled · 24/02/2012 17:10

Thats really bizarre. I'd ask them to explain why it's an issue. Are you sure they don't mean something like 'if you collect DD second it fits better with what's going on in her room at the time'? Or do the other children in DS's room get excited about seeing your DD?

Pozzled · 24/02/2012 17:13

Another thought- is this just you, or could it be a new nursery policy because other children have been disruptive? They may feel it's fairer to make one rule for everyone.

Original poster

london111 · 24/02/2012 17:58

I haven't had a chance to discuss it with them yet. They told me as I attempted to pick up my Dd first yesterday. Dd started crying as they insisted she had to stay in her class so I couldn't really get into a discussion about it. I don't think I can get away with ignoring them - they are v strict about their rules.... Thx for all the replies

OP posts:

conorsrockers · 24/02/2012 17:59

I'd go with the request. It's a simple ask - they wouldn't do it to be malicious, so I think respecting their wishes/rules (as long as they are not outlandish!) is expected. The same as it would be when they get to school. If your DD happens to ask (if you don't mention it she probably won't notice as she'll be just do excited to see you both) just tell her it's the rules. Rules can't always be explained, but they must be followed ...

NatashaBee · 24/02/2012 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dribbleface · 24/02/2012 21:29

telling you at the time when you had you dd and making her stay in her room is just mean. in the past we have had problems with older one's running about, but we just remind child, discuss with parent etc.

edam · 24/02/2012 21:36

They need to explain to you why they want to introduce this rule. Once they have done that, you can negotiate.

zipzap · 24/02/2012 21:50

Our nursery have always had the rule that you pick the youngest up first if they are still in their separate rooms when you go to pick them up, not least because they have the smallest ones upstairs and there is less space and they have a no shoes rule in the rooms with carpets so would be a hassle to take lots of shoes on and off.

The kids do visit siblings during tje day it's just at pick up time the practicalities dictate order of pick up. Never been an issue although as it has always been like that there has never been a different way to do it.

Could you sell it to your dd as it being a special big girl thing being picked up last?

menopausemum · 25/02/2012 17:59

These are your children and you know what is best for them. If the nursery staff are 'working with parents' as they are required then just asking you to do something without explanation is not good enough. Plus a 'one for all' rule does not meet their need to recognise the 'Unique Child'. They appear to be unreasonable.

Flip