How to help DS settle at nursery

[Piccadilly]

My three year old DS is just starting nursery. He knew the nursery already as his sister used to go there until she started school. He was really looking forward to going. Now he´s been there a week - five mornings a week - he is really upset at me not staying with him. He plays happily, one of his friends is already there and the teachers say they can distract him easily if he misses me (I´ve been hiding in a back room until now). Just when I come to get him, he complains bitterly that I don´t stay. Today I promised him that I would stay for the music session - which I did. He spent the whole time looking to check I was still there. Then after that I did leave because the teachers are concerned that he is already used to being there without me and that there will be a step backwards if I stick around.
I am not working at present and so he is only going there while I do the housework and because I was feeling that he was getting a bit isolated with me at home. Around here all children go to nursery so there are no toddler groups for 3 year olds and the playgrounds/parks etc. are deserted in the mornings. He started asking in the mornings if he could go round to play with his friends and I had to explain that they were all at nursery...
With DD it was easy to explain that she went to nursery while I had to go to work. She was quite satisfied with that. Does anyone have any ideas how I should explain it to DS now? Or should I insist with the teachers that I stay in for another week until he´s more settled? So far, I´ve told him that I will just be cleaning the house at home and that´s boring for him. He can better play with his friends at nursery and learn lots of new things. He just says that he needs me there and gets himself worked up. I know he´s fine when he´s there - eg. I just phoned the teachers to ask. Just that I feel that I´m somehow not being honest with him, because he tells me that he really needs me there with him and I just dismiss what he´s saying and then when I get him to nursery, I leave. I have been trying to say goodbye when I leave him, but then he gets really worked up. So today I just let him run off happily into the nursery room and I headed out of the door without saying anything. I feel really that I´m being dishonest with him.

My DS is 2 1/2, but all the way through nursery we've dried to drop off as quicky as possible - sometimes this means he does just run off without a goodbye hug and kiss. This can be hard for me, but it is easier for him as all the focus is on his fun rather than me leaving.

I would try to talk to him about the fun he's having at nursery and the friends he's making both on the way there and back and not really talk about what you're doing. If it makes you feel better, I would class cleaning as work, so you wouldn't be lying if you said you were working. You may also feel better about it if you were able to feel that the time was also productive for you so it felt beneficial to both of you.

My ds been going nursery since 2 he is now 3 and goes in fine at first he'd cry an say he didn't want to go I found the best way was to just pass him over when I looked thru window he was fine. Im a nursery nurse myself so I know that's the norm I find as a practitioner that if the mums stay it makes the child worse even if they've asked their mum to stay often mums apprehensions pass to the child it's much easier when the child is passed to the practitioner all c act like this some r fine straight away but then start acting this way later then the phase passes. It will be doing u both good to have the time apart

Thanks very much, both of you. That´s really useful.