Is Stay at Home Parent better than nursery? Do you worry?

[Zon]

In my home country the key discussion topic when mums talk about childcare is the impact of it. What will it do to your child (emotionally, developmentally etc.) if is spends much time in a nursery. How many hours/days is still okay? Many parents find that at least one of the parents should be there for more than half of the week. Somehow it doesn't seem such an issue here. The discussion seems to be more on which childcare and where to find it. Is this true or have I just missed it? Do you worry about the impact of childcare on your baby/child? Did you go and find information on it before deciding on children/childcare?

The research shows there are some positives and some negatives to both options so it really just comes down to what suits the family and what is available locally. Hopefully it is a non-issue now.

I don't know why people keep talking about the days when they grow up where their mums stayed at home, etc, etc. My mum worked when I was growing and I'm fine. I don't know what impact nursery has on DD, but I know if I don't go and earn, we aren't going to be able to move into a better catchment when she needs to apply for secondary school. I feel her life chances are better if she is in the only decent school around this area. (Our catchment school is so bad there are allocated students in its intake last year)!

I think most people don't have the option but to have both parents working, so therefore concentrate on what is realistic. You will find the press have plenty to say re SAHP vs childcare though...

The one thing that concerns me is that if your child spends more time at nursery than with you. You have to accept that someone you do not know well at all will be having more of an influence on your childs upbringing than you. As research has shown the first years of experience effect yoir childs personality for the rest of his or her life. Its a huge choice and not one id take lightly. Nobody loves your child like you do.

Quite a few parents at my nursery put their DCs in for 3 days, either working different 4 day weeks, or using alternative solutions for the other days. It's not all or nothing, there is a lot of middle ground.

So it is certainly something parents do think about. Yes, of course, if you do not have the option, howlongwilltheynap, that's just it. No point worrying to much about it, you just have to get on with things.

Personally I think in the end it is what makes mum and dad most happy. If you are happy working full-time and get really bored at home, that's what you need to do. If you love staying at home, and you can, that's obviously best.

At the same I somehow missed parents mentioning the impacts of childcare the way 'NewYearEverything' just did. Good to hear parents are aware of those sort of things here too.

When you talk about "nursery", it's worth bearing in mind that there's a huge variation in the quality of nursery care, and also a huge difference between a 6 month old doing 50 hours a week and a 3 year old doing 5 mornings a week for example.

Shorter hours in a high quality nursery maybe bring children amazing experiences they wouldn't get at home.

Long hours in a poor quality nursery may be harmful.