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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Cant sleep at nursery

13 replies

shoesies · 29/11/2011 19:18

Help! Ds (age 2 today!) has just started at a lovely nursery two days a week. They put them down for a nap at 12 which is the time he sleeps at home but he just wont sleep there. Apparently he gets upset and starts asking for me so they have been letting him play while the others sleep - we agreed that we didn't want them to force it and upset him further.

I think the main problem is that he's distracted by all the toys/books etc - its all still a bit of a novelty to him so he doesn't really want to sleep. He's in quite a good routine at home currently but we've had some sleep issues in the past and he can sometimes need a bit of help in the daytime.

His key worker is very nice and he is obviously very happy and comfortable there but I'm a bit concerned that she is very quick to give up - she's already asked why we don't switch his hours to just mornings so he can sleep at home but that just doesn't fit with my work hours. I collected him at 3 today and he was so tired he could barely stand up... :( He has about 1.5 hours usually which he very much needs.

Has anyone else had sleep issues at nursery? Please tell me he'll get used to it!! Thanks

OP posts:

GinLimeandLemonade · 29/11/2011 22:21

No personal experience but I didn't want to leave you unanswered!
When I used to work in a nursery, if we had a child with these kind of sleep issues (which was quite common with new starters) we'd either:

a) sit/lie in the "book corner" with them and read quietly which usually ended up with them nodding off, or

b) put them in a buggy and rock them, sometimes taking them outside into the fresh air (wrapped up and weather permitting of course!). The fresh air used to send them to sleep in most cases!

He'll settle in and be sleeping soon I'm sure. As you say, it's still exciting for him with all the new things to see! I was always quite "hands on" and would give them a cuddle/rock them/pat their backs if they were upset or giddy whilst going to sleep, not sure if his nursery is like this or how he sleeps at home.

Oh, also, if he has a comforter or even just a blanket he could take in that he uses at home for sleep it will help him recognise it's time to sleep. One little lad had a pillow he'd bring in that he cuddled at home at bed time which was always cute to see!

Hope he gets settled and sleeping soon!

cookielove · 29/11/2011 22:21

You could ask them to:

put him in a quiet corner with a book while the others sleep

put out boring toys

you could bring in his blanket/sleep bag/teddy/something that he sleeps with at home so he can lie him down with that.

ask them to give him a book or a teddy to sit/lie on his bed

I think you really want to nip this in the bud otherwise he will get into the routine that he doesn't sleep at nursery which is really not going to help him or you.

Lots of older children really struggle with sleep in the beginning as sleeping a room filled with other children on bed mats on the floor can be very different for them.

I often cuddle/rock the children in my arms and gently lie them on the mat or have them lying half on the mat and over my lap and rub their backs.

You could try a reward chart for sleeping at nursery.

HTH

Original poster

shoesies · 30/11/2011 13:35

Thanks so much for your replies and suggestions!

I do take his teddy in with him which he can't sleep without. (god help us if we ever lose him...!) I believe they do sit with him for a bit and try to soothe him but I'm not sure how long they try for - and obviously there are other children who may need attention.

He doesn't tend to sit still long enough to have a book read to him :( even if he's exhausted! In fact the more tired he is, the more manically he wants to run about with cars and balls...

Nursery is new to us as he's been with me full time up until now so this is the first time we've had this issue - I'm not sure how 'pushy' I can be with them about this. He's supposed to be there until 6pm ie we're paying for him to be there until 6pm but if he's not slept all day then he just can't cope with that long a day.

Here's hoping the novelty wears off quickly!

OP posts:

cookielove · 30/11/2011 17:54

Well you could leave him for longer and hope the exhaustion gets the better of him.

If you want him to sleep i would tell the carers that, he may get upset but he will begin to learn that this is sleep time.

You can be quite pushy its ok

Scarfmaker · 01/12/2011 14:00

Do they put all the children down for a nap at 12pm? Seems quite early to me. Couldn't they move his nap time forward to nearer 1pm and see how it goes.

The two 15 month olds I look after have been asleep since just after 1pm and both went to sleep quite happily after having lunch, then a few books read to them.

Surf25 · 01/12/2011 21:27

This reminds me of dd1 who hardly slept at all when she started nursery at 8 months - literally for maybe 20mins in a 8-9 hour day! Whereas at home she would have slept probably 2 x 2 hr naps at that point! She just got used to it to be honest. Once they are over 1 they are all put down for a nap together and she had a bit of an adjustment period to that too (in baby rm they had cots so slept whenever seemed tired) but she's good now - just seems to have got through to her that that's the time for sleeping at nursery. Btw she is the same as your DS - gets more hyper and running around when more tired! And doesn't sit for a book to be read either! If you think about it from his perspective it is probably just going to take a bit of time to get used to sleeping in this new environment when he's been used to being at home or with you.helped me to think about my DD that way when I was a bit worried about how tired she was but just wouldn't sleep! She got there and I am sure He'll get there too!

RitaMorgan · 01/12/2011 21:35

It's tough for the nursery to persist in getting him to sleep if he cries and makes a fuss because he will disturb the other children. You can't force a child to sleep.

Original poster

shoesies · 02/12/2011 12:48

Scarfmaker yes they put them all down at 12 after lunch - this is actually the same routine that ds has at home so that's the time he's used to sleeping. He's also a very early riser so by 12 he's usually very tired...

Surf25 glad to hear that your dd got used to it! How long did it take?

OP posts:

Surf25 · 02/12/2011 15:03

Tbh (dont despair!)it took about two-three months or so! I did what it sounded like you have done in that I used to pick her up earlyish (3/4pm) when I was still on maty leave and she would often fall asleep on the way home! But after going back to work she had to stay until 5.30ish and she just gradually started sleeping for longer. Hang in there. I think if you keep the conversation open with the nursery staff then they'll persevere to try and get him to sleep if you explain he really needs it, and if he's not having one they'll just do other things with him and try again the next time. How many days/sessions is he in nursery? My DD is 3 days in a row and I think that has meant she's had to get used to it as she's so tired the next day if she doesn't!

Surf25 · 02/12/2011 15:06

Oh sorry I just read your op again and see you were concerned his key worker might give in easily - I guess I'd just try and explain how much he is needing it and if they'd keep trying that would be much appreciated...that's what I did!

Original poster

shoesies · 02/12/2011 18:42

Thanks very much for the advice! He does two days in a row so I'm hoping he'll be tired enough the second day to conk out! I'll talk to his key worker again on Monday and just let her know how much he needs that nap...

I know they've got other children to look after but when I went in to collect him early the first day the others were ALL fast asleep while ds ran around with 3 members of staff to entertain him I'm sure they can wrestle him to sleep eventually hopeful face

OP posts:

inmysparetime · 03/12/2011 10:35

I work in a day nursery in the 2-3s room,and have quite a bit of experience getting reluctant children down for much-needed naps
Does he need patting on his back, or rubbing his tummy, or stroking his hair etc.
It takes a while for even key workers to find the best way to get each child to sleep.
What your DS might need is to have his sleep mat in a corner of the room, with the adult getting him off to sleep sitting such that your DS has only their trousers or the wall to look at. It sounds harsh, but if a child really needs the sleep and is overstimulated it is better than leaving them awake to crash and burn later.

Original poster

shoesies · 14/12/2011 15:06

UPDATE:

He slept!!! We had an awful week last week and I was on the verge of despair, had to collect him in tears as he was just too tired to cope.

Yesterday his key worker and one of the other nursery staff managed to get him to sleep and he had an hour and 45 min nap

Apparently, what worked in the end was good old fashioned bribery: "Well if you don't want to go to sleep then we'll just have to give teddy to Lindsay and she can sleep with him" !!

He fell for it and decided rather than have to give his precious teddy bear away, he would give in. I can't tell you how nice it was to collect a happy, well rested boy!

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