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2 year old DS in 'fight' at nursery

8 replies

tumblebug · 24/11/2011 23:46

DS started at new nursery 6 weeks ago. He is one of the youngest in his room (2-3 year olds).

When I picked him up today, I was asked to sign an accident form. Apparently there had been an argument over a toy, and DS had been pinched and scratched a couple of times on his arm. This sort of thing, or biting, has happened a couple of times before (also at previous nursery, and with family) so I wasn't too concerned, asked if anything had triggered it (apparently DS isn't always good at sharing - no siblings so hasn't had to practice much), apparently he picked 'the wrong child'.

When we got home and took his T-shirt off, it looked awful. He has several bruises on one arm, with nail gouges all the way up the arm, the skin has been grazed. (this would be through his clothes). There are also nail gouges on the top part of the other arm, and marks on the back of his neck and shoulder, I can't tell how they happened or if they are connected.

Is this just normal for nursery/ playing with other children? Could an adult have intervened earlier?

(The nursery has generally seemed OK so far, DS cries when dropped off in the morning but apparently settles after 5 mins, then seems happy when collected.)

OP posts:
MonsterBookOfTysons · 24/11/2011 23:53

It is not normal for ds's playgroup when he was 2 or his nursery now he is 3.
I hope someone more helpful can come along soon.

tumblebug · 25/11/2011 09:34

Thanks, I was quite concerned but friends (male) said they wouldn't be worried as long as it was a one off. Will see how today goes.

OP posts:
mollschambers · 25/11/2011 09:44

Well these things happen BUT from your description I'm surprised that it went on for long enough for him to have so many marks. Mention to nursery the full extent of of it. I work in a nursery btw. We'd be mortified.

Grumpla · 25/11/2011 09:47

I would be quite shocked at that actually. My DS has come home with the odd (single) bitemark / scratch and I'm sure has dished the odd one out in his turn, but with multiple injuries like that I would want to know why it took so long for staff to intervene.

TiggyD · 25/11/2011 10:18

A nursery I once worked in had a child who was boisterous but well behaved. He liked all the running/climbing/hurtling stuff. He had 3 older brothers. One day a child was upset with him and tried to give this boy a 'big girly slap' kind of hit. The boy who was used to fighting with his brothers responded with the sort of punch you see thrown by John Wayne in films. If he had landed it there might have been a trip to hospital for the other, now rather startled, child. The child who tried to slap learnt not to. Most boys get into fights, but there are some children who are better at fighting than most.
Staff cannot always respond instantly. If you are comforting a child sitting on you lap you have to put the child down, get up, make your way around tables, over toys and other children across the room to stop the incident.
If it's a regular thing I would be worried. If the attacker did it unprovoked I would worry and ask what tricks staff use to stop it.

TheSpreadingChestnutTree · 25/11/2011 10:59

That sounds awful. The staff should be able to stop that kind of injury from happening imo. If they can't they are understaffed or not doing their jobs properly.

tumblebug · 25/11/2011 18:52

Thanks for all your replies. TiggyD I hope DS will learn about sharing. I also understand it must be hard for the nursery staff, but out of 6 adults in the room I would hope someone would be free fairly quickly. Ds may not have made a fuss immediately though, he can be quite brave.

Mollschambers with hindsight I think they were mortified I just didn't register at the time not realising how bad it was.

Dh took ds this morning (as usual), he commented to ds' key person how bad it looked, she agreed. Fortunately ds seemed happier today and didn't cry when left, even held arms out for a cuddle with his key person. I think my biggest worry was him being scared to go back. Apparently he had a good day and was happily playing when Dh collected him.

So I think for now we'll just hope it was a one off as long as DS still seems happy and relaxed there. I know they recorded the incident. If it happens again though will be asking serious questions.

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 27/11/2011 22:52

6 staff so around 24 children? That is a very big/busy room, so not suprising that a fight would be missed imo.

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