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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Another Mother told me her son had been sick over the w/e

27 replies

bonkers20 · 01/11/2011 08:47

What would you do? I wish I'd just come out and said "so why have you brought him to nursery then?", but she's so cock sure of herself she'd just laugh me off.

So, shall I email the nursery and ask them whether they are aware?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

scurryfunge · 01/11/2011 08:48

There could be many reasons why he was sick.

Original poster

bonkers20 · 01/11/2011 08:56

She told me he had been ill. Bad cold and sick.

OP posts:

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 01/11/2011 09:03

If it's been 24 hours since he was last sick, then he's fine to come to nursery.

And no, don't email the nursery. It's absolutely not your business.

JaneBirkin · 01/11/2011 09:07

If you can do it anonymously then I would. I mean, so she doesn't find out it was you who mentioned it.

Nothing wrong with them being aware.

FWIW I would feel the same as you, anxious etc. This sort of thing annoys me. But it's true he might be better now.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 01/11/2011 09:10

Seriously?! What do you expect the nursery to do with an anonymous tip off that X child has a cold? Interrogate his parents? Shine lights in their eyes until they confess?

If it was scarlet fever I could understand, but it's a cold and a sickness bug. If he's stopped being sick for over 24 hours, then he's fine. Noone keeps their child at home with a cold unless it's really severe, there would be no children in nursery over winter if that was the case.

ConstanceTenchOfZombies · 01/11/2011 09:12

I'm pretty sure it's 48 hours actually. So it's Tuesday today, it is possible that it's been 48 hours since the last time he was sick so you haven't got a lot of an argument to say anything.

I do understand it's annoying, the thought that he could pass something on, but there's not a lot you can do about it.

thousandDenier · 01/11/2011 09:14

If he was no longer displaying symptoms then it's completely acceptable for him to attend.

Nurseries are breeding parlours for germs, especially at this time of year. Best to just accept that, tbh.

PollyMorfic · 01/11/2011 09:14

You need to get out more. Seriously, have you nothing else to worry about? If you know a child is being sent to school with active TB then that's one thing. But most incidences of kids puking are not the kinds of bugs that are going sweep through a nursery leaving a trail of vomit in their wake.

Some kids puke whenever they're mildly unwell or just overtired, or ate too much or too little, or when they throw a tantrum. If they were kept off school/nursery for 48 hours everytime they were sick, they'd never be there. And then you'd have the EWO on your case mithering you about attendance.

It's only the D&V bugs that are catching in the kind of way that makes quarantine from nursery a good idea. And even then most of the transmission has probably taken place before the symptoms appear.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 01/11/2011 09:15

Is it 48? Our nursery always says 24 I think - but then it's been a while since either of the boys threw up. Cast iron stomachs, both of them

ConstanceTenchOfZombies · 01/11/2011 09:20

My eldest DS used to be a puker, I think he was a bit of a can't spell hypoconriac worrier about illness and would say 'I'm going to be sick" when he actually just had a cough . We have slowly taught him that , no, actually it's just a tickle in your throat love, and he hasn't been sick for months now.

JaneBirkin · 01/11/2011 09:25

Actually once you've been on antibiotics for scarlet fever you can go back within I think a day or two. So it's not that big a deal if it's been treated.

I think it depends on the state of the baby. If he was obviously really poorly then he shouldn't have been there. If he was fine this morning then I'm not so concerned.

The nursery might if they knew just keep an eye on him, take more care about sharing cups etc. The parents may not have told them because they don't want him to be handed back immediately and told to take him home.

Original poster

bonkers20 · 01/11/2011 09:37

This mother has a history of bringing her child in unwell. She brings him back, the bug passes on and lots of other parents have to take time off work due to her selfishness.

Our nursery has a policy of 48hrs since the last bout of sickness.

PollyMorfic No, I do not need to get out more or have more things to worry about. I am (like very many Mothers) trying my best to combine 4 days work, 2 children and home.

I fully recognise that my son may catch things from nursery but nurseries do try and minimise the spread of infectious diseases by having exclusion policies so it's very frustrating when some parents don't follow the policies.

I will not email the nursery though because, as many of you have said, I cannot be sure when he was last sick.

OP posts:

nappyaddict · 01/11/2011 09:40

The government recommend 24 hours. For some reason some nurseries and schools have adopted the 48 hour rule. I always ignore it and send after 24 hours.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 01/11/2011 09:42

But she may well be following the policy - you have no evidence that she isn't. You've just decided that she isn't. Blaming her for other children getting sick is a bit rich, bugs fly around at this time of year so it's hardly likely to be all her fault. Children get ill, it's rubbish, parents have to take time off. It's annoying but it happens to everyone.

Maybe she's also trying to combine 4 days work, 2 children and home? A lot of us are. Cut her some slack.

nappyaddict · 01/11/2011 09:43

Also I think the 24/48 hour rule only applies to D&V bugs. DS is sick when he gets a temperature. Once he was well again I don't think I would need to keep him off 24/48 hours as the vomitting symptom wouldn't be contagious, that's just how he reacts to a temperature.

startail · 01/11/2011 09:43

I'm sick sometimes if I have a cold and swallow lots of gunk while a sleep, DD1 can be occasionally too. I wouldn't apply the 24/48 hour rule then anymore than I would if DD was car sick.

JaneBirkin · 01/11/2011 09:43

Actually NA the HPA recommend 48 hours, and NHS online recommend 3 days for D/V illnesses. You can look it up if you like, I did the other day.

I think that's why schools do it.

JaneBirkin · 01/11/2011 09:45

Whatfreshhell...yes, the OP could cut her some slack if this parent needs to be at work. But the OP also needs to be at work so if the other child passes on something horrid, she won't be getting any slack cut for her.

It has to work both ways which is where the plicy comes in.

I'd email them casually, just letting them know, because you're concerned. There's no harm in it.

JaneBirkin · 01/11/2011 09:45

policy

nappyaddict · 01/11/2011 09:51

The poster in our doctors must bean outdated one then. It's no wonder people don't realise it's supposed to be 48 hours if some doctors/schools/nurseries don't update their policies.

WhatFreshHellIsThis · 01/11/2011 09:51

But there is NO evidence that this mother isn't following the policy. So what's to report? It's been 48 hours since the weekend, so where's the problem?

If the mother was saying 'Oh, little Johnny threw up all his breakfast five minutes ago and is covered in pustules, but I have to go to work so I'm bringing him in' then I could understand your point of view, but she isn't. She's saying to another parent, in a chatty way (I'm assuming) 'Oh poor X was sick at the weekend.'

JaneBirkin · 01/11/2011 09:55

There isn't a lot to report. I'm saying it's unlikely to do any harm.

JaneBirkin · 01/11/2011 09:56

bonkers20 Tue 01-Nov-11 09:37:47
This mother has a history of bringing her child in unwell. She brings him back, the bug passes on and lots of other parents have to take time off work due to her selfishness.

The other parent has according to OP done it before, so in this instance yes I would let the nursery know. An ill child, or lots of ill children potentially is a problem for them.

TiggyD · 01/11/2011 17:12

Bringing your child into nursery when they have a contagious illness is the same as going into the nursery and slapping the other children. Illness causes children pain. Don't deliberately spread it.

"If he was no longer displaying symptoms then it's completely acceptable for him to attend." [rest of message would be deleted by Mumsnet if I said it, so I won't]

PollyMorfic · 01/11/2011 21:46

"Bringing your child into nursery when they have a contagious illness is the same as going into the nursery and slapping the other children. Illness causes children pain. Don't deliberately spread it."

Yes, but not all vomiting is the result of a contagious illness. And a parent is surely in a better place to assess whether their own child's vomiting is due to a contagious bug or not, than someone who has merely overheard a conversation that they were not even a part of, and added two and two together to make 15. Yes, there is a small minority of stupid and irresponsible parents out there, but other things being equal it's generally best to mind ones own business, I find.

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