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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Upset with DD Nursery Trip

51 replies

curlysmum · 15/12/2005 11:23

My daughter is 3 and her nursery are going on a trip out today to a theatre in London and then having lunch, will be gone for 3-4 hours this is their first outing.
A couple of weeks ago they asked for parent volunteer for the trip you would be responsible for your own child and one other for the trip and they need a specific number for H&Safety reasons. You need to attend a H & Safety briefing one afternoon. I work full time so decided not to go as I have not much holiday left. They gave a list of who would be responsible for which child i.e. name of other parent.
I went this morning to see them off on the coach my daughter has been put with a little boys mum who does not speak any English when I say any English I mean not a word or understand it. There are some teachers going as well and I am very upset that I feel I have been put in the position that I am being unreasonable or some sort of nurotic mother sorry my spelling is going a bit up the spout because I am very angry...
Please tell me what you think I briefly spoke to the head teacher and she said I am not being helpful to them. But at the end of the day what if there was an emergency of some sort. I had to let her go as she was so exicited but I am very upset at being put in that position, the teacher said that it was unusual and it is the first time they had this situation themselves, how did the woman do the H & Safety course, why would you put yourself forward. The teacher almost insinuated I am being racist or something.
They are a big group of 40 three years old...

OP posts:

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shimmy21 · 15/12/2005 12:02

Crossed posts -dh translated. get it.

littlemissbossy · 15/12/2005 12:04

I agree with feistybird. Unfortunately we do have to be careful these days with regards to risk assessment. The Department of Education do have guidelines that relate to parents/volunteers on school trips - and I would suggest that the nursery has possibly broken them.
I'm leaving this thread now because it will no doubt turn into a racism thing and I am SO NOT racist!

ills · 15/12/2005 12:06

I would feel angry too. My MIL speaks little english and finds it hard to communicate with my 3 yr old dd. They both get frustated. How will this mother know what time to do things etc, what if one of them asks her to take them to the toilet etc. It puts a lot more pressure on the other adults in the group and surely makes there ratios a nonsense.

shimmy21 · 15/12/2005 12:09

Probably not broken them LMB if you take into account that the nursery only needed to have 1 adult to 3 kids. So take non English mum out of the equation and they are still presumably well covered. You only need to take into account whether a person is up to responsbility for the child if they are at any point going to be left unsupervised which we assume not.

shimmy21 · 15/12/2005 12:10

On school trips as a teacher we would never let parents take the children to the loo. Had to be the teacher or someone who had been police checked. I guess they'll do mass lo stops every half an hour!

shimmy21 · 15/12/2005 12:10

loo stops

walkinginawinterBundleland · 15/12/2005 12:13

I've been police checked because of involvement with dd2's nursery..but I didn't offer to take the children to the loo, left it to the teachers who are much better at sorting out phantom tap-turner-onners...

littlemissbossy · 15/12/2005 12:15

but shimmy - she's been used as a supervisor, not just someone coming along for a nice day out. OMG said I was going - now I am LOL

Epiffany · 15/12/2005 12:19

Well then do not let her go.
We aren't convincing you.... You're not happy.
Solution is to go and collect her before some great problem transpires?

thecattleareALOHing · 15/12/2005 12:25

I think the language thing is overrated tbh. If your dd was a baby she wouldn't understand a word she said if she was a native English speaker. It's not like she's the only person on the trip - she's another pair of hands to help your dd cross the road safely (you don't need to speak good English to manage that, I think, and to help her to her seat on the coach and to make sure she hasn't run off or gone missing. None of which needs great (or any) English really IMO.
It's not like your dd isn't permitted to talk to anyone else!
If you are that worried, maybe you should have taken a day off work or kept your child at home?

Original poster

curlysmum · 15/12/2005 12:30

I did not know until they were getting on the bus if I had known before I would have preferred her to be paired with someone else . I was surprised myself that I was soo upset afterwards. I am sure they will be fine but I am annoyed that I was put in that position and by the teacher's attitude that I was being unreasonable . My partners best friend died tragically a day ago in a car accident so perhaps I am a little over emotional at the moment and I wanted to get others opinion's. I may write a letter to the teacher and explain how worried I was and that maybe they should take that into account for future trips. By the way the other mum did not look at all happy to be going did not smile once. I did not voice my complaint anywhere near her or in her range of hearing , which I suppose she would not have known anyway

OP posts:

Feistybird · 15/12/2005 12:32

Curly - she will have had a fab time, I'm sure.

Bugsy2 · 15/12/2005 13:01

I'm not quite sure I understand this. Is this woman actually responsible for your daughter? Are the nursery saying that they have handed responsibility to a stranger for the day?
When my children have gone anywhere with their school or nursery, I have wanted full details - on paper - of how extactly they are going to manage the trip.
I understand your concerns about your daughter being assigned to someone who is not actually in a position to communicate with her properly. However, it is not the volunteer who is at fault here but the nursery. This is why I ask - who is actually responsible for your daughter today?

Bugsy2 · 15/12/2005 13:04

sorry, way too many actually's in that post!!

Original poster

curlysmum · 15/12/2005 13:22

I have re-read the original letter from the nursery it said briefly
On Thursday 15 Dec we will be attending the theatre etc . We must have 19 adult helpers to accompany us that day and be responsible for their own child and one other child. Adult helpers must attend a Health and Safety seminar the first 19 parents to notify the office will get to go, no babies or siblings to attend.

In addition next letter gave a list of parents names and which child would be with who and then a note to say
'please do not make individual arrangements with the adult helpers no other children or adult helpers are now required as this would compromise safety of the children and insurance arrangements would be nul and void.

I dont know I am not an expert this is my first child and first experience of trips etc , I just know I felt upset and worried when I sent her off with this parent , she has always gone with a childminder etc and I know some people have aupairs etc who do not speak fluent english it is just not what I would have expected at a State Nursery

OP posts:

littlemissbossy · 15/12/2005 13:24

Back again
Does that mean that the woman in question HAS attended a Health & Safety seminar?
Also, is there another adult on the trip who speaks the same language as her?

Original poster

curlysmum · 15/12/2005 13:29

I can only presume she did attend otherwise she would'nt be able to go...as far as I know no one speaks her language only her husband who did'nt go ....

OP posts:

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 15/12/2005 13:30

I really hope nothing goes wrong and I am sure you are partly just a bit nervous as this is your first experience of a "school" trip, plus I would be nervous of my little one going into London at this time of year, but I am almost sure that all that the woman is being used for is someone to hold your child's hand. She will not be taking your child to the loo or indeed taking her anywhere. She will not separate from the main group. The children will get off the coach and walk straight into the theatre. They will sit together and then walk straight back onto the coach and go home. I am sure the woman can manage that, even not speaking the language.

MaryP0p1 · 15/12/2005 13:32

Curlysmum I'm almost like you helper. I live in Italy and don't speak Italian fluently. However, I would point out to you.

If she speaks no English at all how did she know what was going on with the trip and when and where to be etc?
She is in a group and only holding the childs hand. The staff are still responsible for the children and they will have done proper risks assessments prior to going.

I don't speak fluently the language of the country I live in and there has never been a problems with caring for friends of my children.

littlemissbossy · 15/12/2005 13:32

It's all very strange isn't it. I'd still be inclined to say something, particularly to the teacher who insinuated that you were being racist. BTW I'm sure she's had a fab time

Normsnockers · 15/12/2005 13:44

Message withdrawn

Original poster

curlysmum · 15/12/2005 13:56

Its not really bugging me I put my confidence in the Nursery that they would check these sorts of things. The nursery timing of the H & Safety course would have meant taking a whole day off work to attend and then for the trip as well , I had to take a day out this week already for the Nativity Play there which was at 1.30pm so meant I could'nt work in the morning or the afternoon plus the parent morning a few days before, so all in all it would have amouted to a week off for all the things they have arranged at the Nursery and some employers do get a bit irritated when its one day after another. I only get 4 weeks holdiday a year and cannot afford unpaid leave.

OP posts:

Normsnockers · 15/12/2005 14:04

Message withdrawn

JESSnutsRoastinOnAnOpenFire · 15/12/2005 14:06

I think it is unlikely that she can't speak 1 word od English if she lives in this country! You can pick up some basics in a few hours of being in a foreign country.

I can't imagine that the nursery could have not allowed her to come because she would not fully understand the health and guidelines. That would been seen as racism, surely. How would she ever become proficient at the English language if she was excluded from such things?

I don't think I would be concerned really.. much less express it. You DD will be surroundeded by English people in England. One helper who is not proficient in the language is not going to put her at risk.

Normsnockers · 15/12/2005 14:21

Message withdrawn

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