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Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

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Original poster

Upset with DD Nursery Trip

51 replies

curlysmum · 15/12/2005 11:23

My daughter is 3 and her nursery are going on a trip out today to a theatre in London and then having lunch, will be gone for 3-4 hours this is their first outing.
A couple of weeks ago they asked for parent volunteer for the trip you would be responsible for your own child and one other for the trip and they need a specific number for H&Safety reasons. You need to attend a H & Safety briefing one afternoon. I work full time so decided not to go as I have not much holiday left. They gave a list of who would be responsible for which child i.e. name of other parent.
I went this morning to see them off on the coach my daughter has been put with a little boys mum who does not speak any English when I say any English I mean not a word or understand it. There are some teachers going as well and I am very upset that I feel I have been put in the position that I am being unreasonable or some sort of nurotic mother sorry my spelling is going a bit up the spout because I am very angry...
Please tell me what you think I briefly spoke to the head teacher and she said I am not being helpful to them. But at the end of the day what if there was an emergency of some sort. I had to let her go as she was so exicited but I am very upset at being put in that position, the teacher said that it was unusual and it is the first time they had this situation themselves, how did the woman do the H & Safety course, why would you put yourself forward. The teacher almost insinuated I am being racist or something.
They are a big group of 40 three years old...

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fireflyfairy2 · 15/12/2005 11:30

Well, I wouldn't exactly say you were being racist as such... but it may seem to her that you are being a little ungrateful to the parent who has volunteered her spare time to help out..

And the children i'd say are going to be in one group anyway, the parent helper is only there to hold your DD's hand. There will be others there to help out with English, I'm sure her little boy can speak English too

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 15/12/2005 11:34

I think you are worrying a little too much although I do understand your concern. The mum won't be the only one thee for your dd. Think of her as just the person who holds your dd's hand and makes sure she is there and not lost. The teachers will be responsible for caring for your dd and talking to her if she has any concerns.

I am personally amazed that this non English speaking woman volunteered herself for the day. I think she must be very brave and maybe wants to mix with English speaking people to improve her language skills. All credit to her for that.

I am a bit confused though how she will be able to communicate to the staff, but that is her problem and should affect your dd. As I said, she is just a hand for your dd to hold and a pair of eyes to make sure your dd doesn't get lost.

Try not to worry although a trip to the big smoke for such little ones would surely make amnay a mother quail..

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 15/12/2005 11:35

should not affect your dd, I meant to write.

Feistybird · 15/12/2005 11:36

Agree with fff, this woman is doing the nursery and you a favour. Could understand your concerns if they were all going their separate ways, but if they're in a group, I shouldn't worry to much if it was me.

littlemissbossy · 15/12/2005 11:36

I'm not racist AT ALL and although I agree with fffairy2 that it is nice that the woman has given up her time for other people's children - but I have to be honest and agree with you. For basic H&S reasons a non-English speaking person is not the best idea for a bunch of three year olds.

Feistybird · 15/12/2005 11:37

all said so much better than me, by LM

Feistybird · 15/12/2005 11:39

bossy - not sure she has given up her time to be fair - I guess that first and foremost, she wanted to be there for her own child. It's the nursery asking that a parent takes on another.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 15/12/2005 11:41

A others have said, it will be fine - she will not have sole responsibility for your child. Are you certain that she has absolutly no understanding of English though?

Looking at it another way - if she had not volunteered, the trip may not have had enough helpers to go ahead.

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 15/12/2005 11:42

Of course she's given up her time - she's going isn't she??

WigWamBam · 15/12/2005 11:42

A non-English speaking person is better than no volunteer at all, and at least she has given her time to help the nursery. I actually think it must have taken a lot of guts for her to volunteer, knowing that her English isn't good, and complaining about her seems a bit off. I'm sure you're not racist but I really don't think that the lady's language skills are going to be a problem - the fact that she doesn't speak English isn't going to make her any less likely to be able to hold your dd's hand and help to keep her safe.

What would the alternative have been - to refuse to allow her to help out? That would have been both wrong and racist, and may well have meant that the trip couldn't go ahead.

Feistybird · 15/12/2005 11:43

yes, ok, yes, what I meant was that she hasn't necessarily given up her time for 'other people's children'.

Normsnockers · 15/12/2005 11:43

Message withdrawn

littlemissbossy · 15/12/2005 11:47

With any sort of school/nursery trip, there are guidelines in place, particularly referring to the competency of staff managing the children on the day. Yes, she won't be ultimately responsible for each and every child but she should be competent in dealing with the children if they were at any risk. This therefore raises the question - in being a trip supervisor (or whatever you want to call her), would she be competent in an emergency situation when she does not speak English or understand English instructions?

WigWamBam · 15/12/2005 11:48

Presumably her son speaks English and can translate?

littlemissbossy · 15/12/2005 11:49

Sorry WWB - but if the place was on fire, would you expect a 3 year old to give instructions to others in his group, sorry this is a serious matter but I'm laughing now

WigWamBam · 15/12/2005 11:51

If there was a fire then there are plenty of other adults there who can speak English!

walkinginawinterBundleland · 15/12/2005 11:51

i never had to do a health & safety course when i helped take dd's class to the zoo. i had 4 children with me but never left the bigger group (ie all the class teachers & other helpers). I think you're feeling very anxious as it's her first trip, and that's perfectly natural.

Feistybird · 15/12/2005 11:52

We're back to risk assessment and tbh, if someone is so risk averse to think that in a group, one person not speaking English is a problem....I'm amazed that they would permit a trip to the smoke in the first place.

Epiffany · 15/12/2005 11:52

I let dd just turned 3 go out with her friend and her au pair who speaks NO English.
They went to a play farm for 3 hours.
All well and good
I did worry a little but they were going as part of a larger NCT group so knew they would be support around

shimmy21 · 15/12/2005 11:53

But obviously she wont be going off on her own with your child. There will be nursery teachers and other parents around all the time too if something should happen. Just because she can't speak English it doesn't mean she cant act as a pair of eyes and hand to hold for your child. Can't quite understand the problem myself.

blueshoes · 15/12/2005 11:55

It is a huge responsibility for a mother to take on responsibility for another child, esp when out and about. I hope the little boys' mum was not pressured to do that. I (even speaking English as I do) would feel uncomfortable but perhaps the H&S course would have helped. When dd's nursery arranged a trip to the London zoo, parents were asked to make up numbers but only look after their own kid(s). And the group did get separated because it was raining and people just went off their own way. But half the children did stay behind in the nursery with designated staff because the nursery could not get enough parents.

Curlysmum, were you offered the choice to leave your dd in the nursery? If dd stayed in a group, it would be fine, but if they got separated (it happens), it is not ideal that her handholder does not speak English. The nursery should not have brushed you off.

But I do think it was very generous and brave for the lady to volunteer and I would give her an extra special smile if I bumped into her at nursery. Hats off to her .

blueshoes · 15/12/2005 11:58

Actually I just remembered that this is a trip to the theatre. Oh, then the chance of being separated is v. slim. Your dd will be fine...

ItllBeLonelymumThisChristmas · 15/12/2005 11:58

I am sure for H&S regulations to be met, it is not neceaasry to have one adult for every 2 children if they are all aged 3 or over. When they are 2 or younger, the ratio requirement is 1 to 2 I think, but at 3 the ratio changes I believe.

Therefore, I think the playgroup, far from cutting corners, is actually being extra specially concerned to have more than enough adults to hand.

Original poster

curlysmum · 15/12/2005 11:59

There was many parent who wanted to go it was over subscribed. She has put her self forward to be responsible for my child who she cannot in any way commicate with. The father speaks broken English a little bit he was translating this morning when the teacher was speaking to her. We live in a multicultural area my daughter is mixed race it has nothing to do with that. I would not go on an outing in another country and sign responsibility for someone's child when I could not speak their language.
My god daughter was on a school trip on July the 7th and was caught on the tube behind the bombed one the teachers and helpers spent hours communicating with the parents and Taxi companies to get them back to the school safely and all the parents said the helpers were in a very stressful situation and that was a group of 10 year olds..

OP posts:

shimmy21 · 15/12/2005 12:01

I'm just wondering how the woman actually understood the trip request, volunteered herself and understood all the instructions for meeting times etc if she really doesn't speak any English. As an ESOL teacher I know that most people learning English find it much harder to speak and make small talk to strangers etc. than they do to understand instructions. I bet she understands (and can speak) a lot more English than actually appears on a chance encounter at the nursery gates.

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