Christmas at nursery

[Novembergirl]

Santa is visiting ds' nursery this week during their Christmas party. Parents have been asked to buy a present for their child, to be distributed by Santa, up to the value of, I think, £8 and, if attending, to contribute food to the party.

Unfortunately, due to a combination of dh not checking the file where parent correspondence is kept (admittedly, difficult to remember when you are juggling a wriggling baby and a bag and are rushing through reception on the way to work or home to feed a hungry ds) and ds being ill, I only found out about the festivities (and the parental responsibilities) last night!

Yesterday, I was in a toyshop; today, however, I will have to dash out between meetings and find something in one of the (few) local department stores (the City is not a great place to shop for childrens' toys). I might be able to make the party (and proceeding carol concert) if I cancel a meeting and work from home, but as ds is only 10 months, I wonder if this would be an over reasction (I would, however, love to see him listen to the carols, meet Santa and receive his present and would hate him to be the only child without a mummy or daddy present)!

I know that another local nursery buys all their children a small present (to be distributed by Santa. Maybe I was being unrealistic in assuming that ds' nursery (which has slightly higher fees) would do the same? I would be interested in hearing the experiences of other mums and, in particular, thoughts on whether, given ds' young age, I should try to make the carol concert/party.

Um... have to say that I don't think he'll notice you're not there or at least won't remember it.

Is the party today? I don't think it would be the end of the world if you weren't there - after all, at 10 months he's hardly likely to make too much of a fuss about that but I think it would be a little bit sad if he didn't have a present to get from Santa and everyone else did (although I'm sure the nursery could wrap up something little to give him if you couldn't get any sort of gift there).

If you really can't make it, then don't worry. You have years ahead of you when he is at school when he will actively look for you in the crowd to look forward to!

I also doubt he will be the only child there without parents.

At DS's nursery, they provide (very small ) presents from Father Christmas. Last year when he was 13 months, there were lots of children there without parents and no one (babies, parents or nursery staff) minded.

Ah, its his first one! try and get there, try your best. He may not notice but, well, its his first one and its times like that that stick in your mind forever.
It doesnt matter about other mums and dads, you are his mummy and you are all that matters to him.
He will always notice when you are around him, sorry if im going against all the other replies but thats what i think. You did ask

Sorry, didnt want to make you feel bad with that post sorry x

Value of present doesn't matter at all, anything would do, even one of his toys he's already got. Personally I would like to be there but you are right he won't realise. Another point is that when DS was 10 months he sat on Santa's knee happily. This is the first year (he's 4.10) since that he has not cried/refused to go near Santa.

Our nursery has the party on a Saturday at a local soft play and provides a small present (book). Presumably all this is paid for out of our fees.

Well, at our playgroup, which is very strapped for cash, all the children were provided with a wrapped parcel from Santa- only cost about £2 each but they were all thrilled.

At our Nursery they give an inexpensive book or some crayons etc.

I wouldn't kill yourself to make the festivities given ds' age.

have never been asked to provide a present. Agree with whoever suggested giving him something he already has at 10 months.

I wouldn't bother going tbh he won't know and you've got your own first Christmas to look forward too

Our nursery have a 'christmas production' on one day before christmas, and a 'christmas party (including free small gift from santa, but parents are expected to donate the food) on another day before Christmas. Parents are encouraged to attend both. In my experience this means that I have to take a further 2 days off work - which generally means I need to work more over the christmas week than I would like to, the Show and the Party are both scheduled for the late morning, and when my kids see me there, there is no way they will go back to nursery with the staff so I end up taking them home with me..so I'm paying £80 a day for them to be looked after by me.
OK, I am a bit annoyed about the whole thing...I don't think the children really get much joy from this until they are about 3 (and we take them to see Santa in shops etc anyway)..seems a way for the staff to get a couple of easy afternoons (so some of them can nip out for christmas shopping).
I also get phoned on the last working day before Christmas every year at about 2pm..either 'Your child is the last one here...just thought you would like to know' or 'Can we just check what time you are picking X up?'.....enormously guilt-inducing especially when it was my first-born's first christmas...but I can't change my working hours just so the nursery staff can go home early. Argh!

We contribute food but not a gift Novembergirl. You might find M & S on Finsbury Pavement your best option if you do want to go with buying ds something new.
Having been there twice in this situation, you might want to go to the party for your own pleasure. These things are often fun, even if babies are oblivious to their parents' presence.
And, you were posting about feeling more "in touch" with ds' nursery recently. If your car/commute logistics mean you end up deciding NOT to start doing some of the drops and pick-ups, the Christmas do will be a really convivial way to chat to the staff and maybe some of the parents. Without wanting to make you feel at all guilty for eventually deciding to pass, I would try and go based on my own experience.

Message withdrawn

Norm, i dont think your putting a spanner in the works at all. I now have a childminder, but when ds was at a nursery we allways got asked to pick up kids early, with no reimbursment! Like you i need to work to pay for nursery and fund the week they use to have at xmas! It really did annoy me as it was a hospital based nursery with parents mainly being medical staff. Our patients dont stop being ill cause people want to leave early! That said if poss i did allways try and pick ds as early as poss.

DD (2) is having her nursery Christmas party on Friday. Last year, they all got presents from Santa, she got a lovely big book, I imagine they buy them in bulk and as someone said, out of our fees. But it was a lovely surprise (although she didn't like Santa, she was only 14 months at the time). Parents weren't invited to the party nor asked to provide food, it is the same for Hallow'een and birthday parties, although for birthday's you provide the cake.
They also had a film to watch yesterday for Christmas and some party food with that.
There is also a Christmas concert on the 23rd, which finishes at 3.30, so I presume the expectation is that parents will pick children up straight after that. I honestly cannot remember what i did last year , in my defence, my now ex husband had just left, so it is all a bit of a blur. TBH, the Christmas concert presents me with another issue, because obviously dd's father has to have the opportunity to also be there. Joy.
but to your question, i think you should try to make the carols and party because you have said that you would love to see your ds listen to the carols and meet Santa. I am sure that it will be an excitement for your ds regardless, but you might regret not going?

sorry, birthdays shouldn't have an apostrophe

We own two nurseries and aren't closing early on the Friday before Christmas. It's the 23rd FGS. We don't close early on the last working day before Easter, so why would we at Christmas. Half of our staff aren't Christian, so it's no big deal for them anyway (not that Christmas has anything to do with Christmas ..pagan festival and all that) Also, we're providing care for children whose paying parents, if anyone, should have use of the time, not our staff.

ahhhh bauble99 its owner and managers like you that have me vowed to never ever work in a nursery again.

While i understand that some parents of children in nurseries will be working till 5/6pm on the 23rd. I also know a lot that will leave work early to .....finish off last minute shopping/have a xmas drink with collegues or just take a breather before the xmas mad weekend that will lay ahead.

Dont get me wrong i am not begrudging paying parents this right....but......Nursery workers have families and a life too!!!! The pittance that is paid to nursery staff ...yes even though you pay a sizely sum in fees.....makes them ....rightly or wrongly hungry for and 'perks' that they may get and if that means that maybe just maybe they will get to leave early and spend a bit of extra time last minute shopping etc then they will try for it.

Dont think they are trying to pile on the guilt....well i never was just trying to get the best outta my xmas as well!!!

Ok rant over

My sil probably had even bigger guilt trips. She and her dh work in retail (Argos at the moment but was a clothes shop) so there is no way she could finish work early on Xmas Eve. Added to that is the additional guilt that Xmas Eve is her dd's birthday!

Ds will be 3 next year. His nursery has a Xmas party in all 3 rooms at the same time and Santa visits one room at a time. Last year ds got a sunhat and a swimming bag, and all the parents got a calendar.

We are asked to take a plate of veggie food, but as ds has many allergies we will take his food in a sandwich box instead of providing expensive allergy free food which will be ignore completely by the other children in favour of additive laden crap. Last year he was the only kid that ate his biscuits but we had to throw the others away because of cross contamination.

This year it's on a day that ds doesn't go (actually it's on a Friday afternoon when hardly any children go) and if it's not your normal day you have to supervise your own child. I think their reasoning is that if the child is normally at home, they should have a caregiver available to share the party.

Given his age you could wrap up an existing toy and give it to them, and indeed that is what I would do. He would have no idea you are supposed to get new toys from Santa.

Bauble 99 - ds's nursery are working reduced hours up until the middle of Jan - whilst we are in NZ and it is our main holiday, it's still annoying as we are paying the same fees.

Actually I'm not - I have marked him as coming a part time day and have clearly written $30 only on the form.

In my old job I would not have been able to leave early on the Friday night so I think what you are doing is a good idea. Ds's nursery is finishing at 3pm!

Our nursery always closes at lunchtime on Christmas Eve. Its not an issue for me for a while until Christmas Eve gets round to Tuesday again! Actually DD's last day is Thursday and I have the day off but have arranged to take the children to visit DH's great-aunt and uncle (how dutiful am I?) for lunch. I am paying for the full day at childminder/nursery so I am planning on sending them from 8 until 11 so that I can have a quick runround of last minute jobs and maybe stick the tags on the presents.

agree with nzshar. the nursery carers have families too and it would be nice for them to be able to go home early to be with them and get ready for christmas.

novembergirl, did you go in the end?

nzshar and jazal. Our staff are paid for breaks and set-up/close down time at the beginning and end of every shift. I (and they) have never heard of/worked in any other nurseries that do this! I won't have the 'meanie employer' label thrown at me, thanks very much.

In addition, they have a generous annual leave allowance so, if they really need time off for shopping etc, they can take it as annual leave.

We are providing a service to working parents, they've paid for full time care and they deserve to get exactly that.

The nursery I use have a good reputation for paying their staff above the usual pay and also provide paid breaks and other perks..this means that they have a happy staff and low staff turnover (which is one of the reasons I chose this nursery).
A lot of the children are with their parents over Christmas anyway so a lot of the staff are able to take leave then,,but IMO the ones who do have to work (whether they have chosen to or are 'rota-ed to do it' shouldn't ring parents at work and suggest that their child is suffering because 'all their friends have gone home' when the parent cannot leave work.
It's important to remember that we parents pay the 'sizely sum in fees' to be able to keep working and since most of my annual leave gets used up on caring for my children when they have colds etc and can't go to nursery I don't like to use it up on random 'christmas days'.

Exactly, bluebear. If the nursery is quiet due to children being already away for the Christmas break, then I have no problem with the staff (if ratios allow) arranging amongst themselves an earlier finish for some of them, but I won't allow parents to be asked to come and collect them earlier.