Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Nurseries

Find nursery advice from other Mumsnetters on our Nursery forum. For more guidance on early years development, sign up for Mumsnet Ages & Stages emails.

Flip

Original poster

Nursery? Nanny? Childminder? Aupair? Which one?

16 replies

MrsDoolittle · 01/12/2005 14:01

Currently I work full-time, as does dh. We have one 19 month dd and we are expecting number 2 in February.
Basically, I have started to think about childcare for next Sepetember.
I am worrying because our biggest problem is my commute to work; it's over 40 miles and although I have a choice of either car or train it takes forever. It is my intention to reduce my hours to 3 days but I have to leave home so early. I would have to leave home at 6.45am.
My darling husband is willing to get both children up, dress them and take them to nursery but I really feel he is being naive. He honestly thinks it is going to be easier than it is and he frequnetly admits he can't multi-task. The idea of leaving him to get to work with a 21/2 year old and a 7 month old makes me shudder.
Has anyone any suggestions for how I might overcome this problem, it shouldn't be worrying me at this point but it won't go away.

All ideas and help very gratefully received.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bozza · 01/12/2005 14:03

What about at night time - would one of you be able to pick them up by 6? Are your DH's hours regular?

littlechristmaself · 01/12/2005 14:03

maybe an au-pair

starlover · 01/12/2005 14:04

Yeah, jhave a trial run before you go back to work. Just to see if he can cope.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 01/12/2005 14:05

The evenings aren't so much of a problem. Dh could be out of work at 5. Dd is currently in nursery 2 1/2 miles away from him, he picks her up and drops her off. She loves it.
I could get home before him

OP posts:

NannyL · 01/12/2005 18:27

You could have a nanny! i cant imagine many would want to start at 6.45, but 8 is a normal nanny start time, and you might get someone to start at 7.30 if you are lucky! so then you wont have to worry about your husband getting them to nursary etc.

However nannies are expenisve!, but you do get what you pay fot..... if you sedn your children to day care then you have to do the childrens washing / ironing / tidy their rooms / play rooms, make their nutritouse food etc, where as a nanny will take care of all that as well, which as a working parent must make life that bit easier, and make the time you do have with your children even nicer!

ThePrisoner · 01/12/2005 19:17

Childminders often start early!!

bluebear · 01/12/2005 19:48

I leave for work at 6.45 and leave dh to get kids dressed and off to nursery at 8am. I tend to make sure bags are packed etc the night before, and I also check that there are a couple of clean outfits ready but once we got into a routine there have been no problems.
Dh tends to get up at 6.15 (which is when 2 year old wakes up) and the children have a cuddle and some milk, then potter about the bedroom whilst he showers/dresses (shower is en-suite so he can keep an eye on them), then he pops them into clothes and off they go.
It's the easiest option - so it's worth having faith in your dh and giving it a go!
Our problem is when I'm off work (sick etc) and then the whole routine gets off balance.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 04/12/2005 20:04

Doesn't a nanny have to live here though? We don't have enough space here for a nanny too, unfortunately.
I know what you are saying bluebear, that is how dh imagines it. But I'm afraid they are too young. It just doesn't sit very well with me

OP posts:

NannyL · 04/12/2005 20:35

Nannies dont have to be live-in. I think there are more daily nannies actually!

Bozza · 04/12/2005 20:53

An au pair would live in so if you haven't the space that would rule that out. My DH takes the children to nursery but I only leave about 20 minutes before them. So generally our morning goes like this:
6.30 alarm
6.40 I get up and shower and dry my hair
6.50 DH gets up and showers and dresses
7.00 DS gets up
7.10 DH and DS have breakfast
Sometime along the way DD wakes up and has a cup of milk and sits on my knee while I get ready (PITA and very detrimental to my make-up - both whats applied to my face and whats in the drawer)
7.30 DH moves his car off the drive and gets my car out of the garage. I do the kids teeth and wash with a towel draped over me. Then DS starts to get dressed and I dress DD.
7.40 I go to work and DH takes over. He has to nag DS to get dressed and do shoes, coats etc.
DD has breakfast at nursery and I buy toast at work.

My nugget of advice is, if you go for a nursery or childminder find one that provides breakfast. If you take that out of the equation I think DH will have much more chance of coping.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 05/12/2005 12:55

How do I go about getting a nanny for three days a week?

OP posts:

walkinginawelshmumwonderland · 05/12/2005 13:04

You could start with the great care website if you're prepared to check references and do interviews yourself. There seem to be quite a few people out there who want to work part-time (we were looking for someone 1 day a week)We had about 30 responses to the ad we placed.
I wonder whether it's worth letting your dh have a go though? I'm always underestimating what mine can do he just does it differently and that's the hardest bit to cope with as I want him to multi-task like I do.
Would you have to take your dd out of nursery to pay for the nanny? how much does your dd like her nursery? ours would be furious at the thought of leaving hers....

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 05/12/2005 13:09

That's a good point. Dd loves her nursery.

OP posts:

sinclair · 06/12/2005 23:02

We were in a similar position MrsD, slightly bigger age gap. We kept daycare running at 3 days a week whilst I was on maternity leave (I was lucky and got a great package obviously to be able to afford that!) and then switched to a nanny when I went back to work at DD nearly 3, DS 8 months. I reduced my days from 4 to 3 and didn't have problems finding nannies wanting shorter weeks - some of the applicants were planning to pick up other days with other families which I now realise might have been complex, but the fab nanny we hired wanted a shorter week as she was doing a degree part time. It has worked brilliantly for us both, she is still with us 3 yrs + on, and is only coming to an end now because I am giving up and because she is so blimming bright she is now going to a full time MSc. She has lived out throughout.

The beauty part for us was that DD went on almost immediately to a (state) pre-school where she met loads of the kids that she has gone on to primary with, and which was a far better solution for her than the daycare equivalent at that age would have been.

It's a tough decision - I think you are doing the right thing thinking about it early tbh! Good luck.

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 07/12/2005 15:36

That's a reassuring post sinclair!

OP posts:

mummydear · 07/12/2005 16:19

just a thought - childcare for two , especailly in a nursery will be expensive. I worked partime after both of mine and after DS2 i wnet back to work and worked out the sums and it wasn't worth the bother and hassle of working when a bulk of it went on childcare and travelling.

Its a very personal decision but work out the sums of childcare and put that against your travelling costs and income. I do apprecaite that many have to work for various reasons but just a thought.

BTW DH used to have to deal with a 2yr old and 6month when I went back to work and had to get them to nursery in the morning as well as looking after them all day if I worked at the weekend, he mamnged very well in his own way, you may be suprised by your DH.

Good point about the breakfast issue, if the childnren can have it at nursery or childminder then thats half a battle won . Good luck

Flip