Racist word at nursery

[saadia]

Can't believe I have to deal with this already.

Background: Ds1 is at the nursery attached to his school. It is very multi-cultural. He will be 4 in January. He seems to have settled in well and is happy to go. All the other parents are really nice and friendly. Ds has a special friend who he even says he loves. We are originally from India.

Anyway, when he woke up from his afternoon nap, ds was laughing a lot and said Paki, just out of the blue. I was a bit shocked and asked him where he'd heard that and he said his friend had said it at nursery. When I gently asked further, trying to appear relaxed and light-hearted he totally clammed up and said that no-one had said it. I didn't want to go on but, would like to know the context etc. Will maybe ask him later on when he's more relaxed.

Should I mention this at nursery? he could not have heard it anywhere else, but children's accounts are not always the most reliable.

Oh saadia, I'm so sorry this has happened; what a worry for you.

I would discuss it with the nursery, yes.

yes, I would mention it at nursery - say to his teacher / key worker that he said it, and does she have any idea where it might have come from, and perhaps they could keep an ear out.

tbh, I'm not sure I would make too much more of an issue over it with your DS. He may feel he has done something wrong - or at that age of maximum perverseness, say it deleiberatley for the next 6 months. But I would keep an ear closely tuned for more.

DS is at nursery and they seem to revel in calling each otehr 'silly' names. The other day DS said x was 'chubby', which I found out came from an older boy.

I said there were 2 rules: no calling anyone names, and especially no names about what people look like and no copying anyone else when they do or say something rude or bad. And that those rules apply if someone calls him names, too, and he should tell people not to do it. (he is mixed race, white / indian)

(Hester i replied to your e - but it gets bounced back!!)

sorry to hear about that. Id mention it at the nursery, and take note how seriously they take it.

We taught our children some suitable non-racist insults like "silly cow" and encouraged them to use them if someone said this kind of thing to them, while reiterating that they were not to start any name-calling. Not everyone's way of dealing with the situation, but it is ours. We didnt want our children to get the idea that they were there to be insulted by other children.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I think at this stage, without any concrete information, I will just mention it and ask the nursery to keep an ear out. I was just so shocked as I thought three yr olds were too young for this and the boy who might have said it is himself from abroad.

I think at this age they can get the idea that words are 'naughty' without having the slightest idea what they mean or why they are offensive.