I don't like the nursery please talk to me

[curlywurl]

This kept me awake last night so would like to share and hope somemone will say they've felt the same.

Just feeling uneasy about my childs nursery without any real cause but feel like I'm ignoring my instincts by still using it.

There was an incident with security afew months ago where I found my child alone in the foyer at pick up time. I was freaked out as if anyone had left the front door ajar he'd have been in the carpark/road. Worst thing was no one had noticed him missing.
It was dealt with ok when I complained apart from the manager being incredibly defensive at 1st.

I think it's just left me uneasy about the place and there are several staff I don't take to personally, I find them false and smarmy. No basis for removing child from nursery is it?!

Yes, it a reason to take your child out, especially if you are laying awake at night worrying about it.
Your child is the most important thing in your life, please don't fell you have to put up with second best.
There are good nurseries out there. Ask around, get personal recommendations.

His old is you lo?
Do they enjoy it?
How much time do they spend there?

There is of course more background if you can be bothered to keep reading!

I have 2 kids 34 months and almost 6 months
We moved house a long way away 8 months ago when i was 29 wks pregnant
I went back to work 9mths after my 1st child, 3 days a week and put him into nusery.
When we moved house I started my maternity leave early and put my son into this local nursery 3 days a week. This was to keep me sane during sorting out the new house, late pregnancy and 1st months with new baby and I'm glad I did it.
Dropped the nursery place to 2 days a week when baby was 4months old.

So that's the history. I think what's confusing me is that my maternity leave ends in august and I don't know what's going to happen. We have moved too far fo me to return to my old job and due to my profession I don't know if I'll find anything round here especially as I'd want part time.

I feel like I'm in limbo - it's too early to really be looking for a job for august but I want to keep him at the nursery incase I can get a job. I think it would be really unfair to take him out of nursery for a few months then start again especially with the recent move and new baby.

Oh yes and pretty much every nursery morning there are some tears and doesn't want to go. When I pick him up he is happy and says he's had a lovely time. Nursery always say he's settled just after I've left and been fine all day. I think it's just him he often doesn't want to go to play group then has a great time as soon as we get there but it doesn't make me feel any better on nursery mornings!

I'm meeting alot more SAHMs here than at our last house so think that makes me feel abit bad sending him to nursery.

We'd get by OK if I didn't work but it would make it hard for me to get back into my career in afew years and I love what I do so would like to 'keep my finger in the door' while the kids are young.

If I don't go back to work there is a good local pre school we could use but it's no good for working hours as the sessions are too short.

If I don't go back to work for the same organisation I have to pay back maternity pay. But as I said I may not be able to get anything in the same organisation around here so that may be out of my hands anyway.

Ahhhhhh that's better to write it all down!

Do I just have too many options and am thinking too much? Thanks for reading if you got this far and any advice/experiences would be welcome.

Thanks for answering already, think I answered all those questions in the essay I just wrote!

I feel like there's got to be a really good reason to move him or some more concrete decisions about the future that I can make right now

Go with your gut, if you're not comfortable and he's not happy to go in then it is not the right place for you both.
Either find another nursery or a childminder if you need care for him (a sanity saver even if you are a SAHM)

Absolutely go with your gut instinct. There is no point making yourself miserable and worrying. Its hard enough when they don't settle well even when your confident with your choice (my DS was difficult to settle to say the least and i manage the nursery!)

Find another nursery- you won't stop worrying otherwise. My ds (2.5) has been at nursery since he was 15 months for 2 days a week. First one he went to, I liked it when he first went and he settled quite quickly and then suddenly after about 4 months started to hate going all of a sudden. I started to get that gut feeling that something wasn't right about the same time- staff were not particularly friendly, no feedback, a few times when I came he was crying and they were just sitting on their arses having a chat.
However there was nothing specific just a gut feeling something wasn't right and I thought I was being silly and kept him there.
I stressed everytime I sent him and I used to pick him up early as I stressed so much.

We moved house and moved nursery and he was like a different child- he loves it and I love it. I realise now how miserable he was at the old place. Whenever we go back to see friends and we pass the old nursery he gets really upset- it's been 7 months since we left. If you feel your child and the nursery aren't a good fit then that's reason enough to change it. I know at least 3 parents who have moved their children to a different nursery just because it hasn't worked out for no major reason.

Thanks I'm not being a mad cow then! I love the break that I get when he's at nursery and get loads of jobs done with just the baby around but I'm also glad when the two nursery days are over as I don't have to tell him it's a 'nursery day' again until next week. It's not right really is it?

Anyone switched nursery at nearly 3 years old? how was it?

I switched from 2 days a week at a nursery to 3 mornings at a sessional pre-school type nursery at 2 1/2 years old. My DS thrived!!! He settled in quickly, and the change in him was fabulous.

Like you I had a few doubts about the previous nursery. Nothing particularly 'wrong', just not a lot of things 'right'.

Thanks for that, will visit another local nursery this week and have a think about moving him

if i were you, i would look at local playgroups that will give you a little break for a few mornings a week. cross the bridge of childcare when you need it. you could then probably find a childminder who could take him/pick him up from playgroup. tbh, if you are thinking of going back to work at some stage, you are better off spending the next few months making some good friends with kids that he will go to school with.

My DD changed from a nursery to a nursery in the local school at about 3.5 and is much happier.

Wow, sounds like you've got an awful lot to think about.

1. Dont let what other mum's do influence you - if nursery works for you then that great. You'll probably find for many its more of a financial decision - I bet a lot of them would really like 1-2 days a week nursery for their child's stimulation given the choice - my little one loves it, and they do tons of messy play and fun activities I just wouldn't have the time to do at home.

2. But, if you get a bad vibe about the nursery, look for something else. Go with your gut. Yes, he may be happy there once he's settled after you've left, but safety is your paramount concern, and it sounds like it was lacking and the staff were defensive. Trust yourself more.

3. Cant really help with the work thing sorry! Perhaps things will pan out nearer the time? I know that's really vague and wooly, but I was in a similar situation and it did for me eventually. Although I wouldn't worry about career development - you can always do some voluntary work or back to work training if you decide to make a career break.

Good luck with everything, hope you're managing to get some sleep and not lying awake worrying about everything!