Cost of nurseries

[vanillacinamon]

This is a rhetorical question and I guess the response is going to be that is how life is. But wow I have never been so poor as I am now, paying for two babies at nursery. No I don't earn much, took a massive pay cut when i changed jobs in order to get regular hours so I could have kids. But two very quick pregnancies later and a £1,950 per calender month nursery bill leaves me with literally £30 - £40 per month spare. They don't publicise this. It seems the government says mums should get back to work asap but the realities (for me at least) is that you pay a massive amount for the privilege of having someone look after your children so you can work for a very very small net amount.
or maybe its just me
anyway rant over, no need to reply

I know what you mean :)

Do you have an OH? Does he work? If so would you not maybe be better giving up your job and then only working one day a week or so, like a saturday etc then he would have the kids to himself and you wouldn't need to pay any childcare costs and would probs be walking out with four times as much as you do now for just working one saturday?

What age are your kids? Are you in the kind of job that if you left for a few years it would be difficult to get back into it?

Would you be cheaper using a cm? In alot of areas they are cheaper than a nursery which could save you a bit of dosh.
x

can you get a nanny?

i have 2 children and it is the (slightly cheaper) option

i am taking a long term view that in a few years i will have kept my career up and i hope that will benefit me and the family

it can feel soul destroying though ...

Thanks for your replies, it really helps to think i am not the only one.
Yes a nanny or a cm might be cheaper although have a mental block about trusting just one person to do the job without checks & balances of a larger organisation (nursery) all unfounded and rediculous and nurseries are not perfect I know.
Husband is very much in favour of me working, long story wont bore you but basically we relocated house so i could have babies and work and i think he has some childhood history about thinking that women staying at home to look after little ones is not a good idea (never confirmed this with him just suspect maybe due to his parents messy and bitter divorce, dont want to ask too much!)
My career is one where it would be very very difficult if not impossible to get back in a few years down the line if i have taken a break (especially in current job market conditions)
Husband and I dont have a great line of communication on money issues.
I am painting a bit of a black picture here aren't I? Its not all bad, but I do miss my babies a lot (10 months and 2 years) and some days it feels rediculous when I think how much I am making net and I start to see things (most likely my paranoia and not there) which are bad about the nursery.
Anyway, like you say ruby, i guess in the long term maybe it will be a good thing that I am paying for the joy of being here at my desk!!!! (skiving on mumsnet at the moment so best get on with some work now!)

Cms still have the same checks done as what anyone working in a nursery would have done. Bearing in mind anything can happen any where, not just where there is sole charge of children. We all remember what that women done to those kids in the nursery. shudders

It's a shame that you can't leave your job and then get back into it in a few years, seeing what a lousy amount you are taking home each month. But if it means you just need to stick at it and be skint for a few years then i guess thats just what needs to be done, x

yes
i do have nightmares about that woman and nursery generally. i miss my 2 like mad
thanks for your emails tho i appreciate your replies

Your welcome :)

I hated sending my DD to nursery, at one point she would rather have stayed there than have came home! lol

I understand your dilemma, but for starters, you must stop looking at it as Your salary minus nursery fees = £30-40. It is Your salary + Your husband's salary = Joint salary minus nursery fees = ££.

Secondly, you know more than anyone else what your job prospects are, and there are certain jobs where you can't realistically take 4 years off without having to retrain or do something else. For e.g. in my job (hospital consultant) there are >40 people applying for every fulltime consultant post with very few part-time posts available; if I took 4 years off I might as well wave my career goodbye as I won't stand a chance re-entering it at that level after a long absence (competing with academic registrars fresh from PhDs with Lancet publications etc). A colleague of mine tried applying for a job identical to her previous job after taking 2 years off following IVF triplets and didn't even get shortlisted. In her case she had no choice but to take time off as she had protracted PND but still...

Finally, I don't think your husband is strange in expecting you to work. Both my parents always worked as did the parents of almost everyone I grew up with (we all had nannies) and that is the norm for me, my family and my contemporaries. I don't think there's anything wrong with that, just as there's nothing wrong with wanting to be/wanting one's partner to not work while the children are young.

You're right though - the prohibitive cost of childcare is something that isn't well publicised. However you're lucky - where I live full time nurseries cost from £1250 upwards, with only a 10% discount for siblings!

What Giselle said.

I never ever understand why women look at the childcare cost as coming out of their salary. We pay it out of the joint account and cannot emphasise enough that your net household income is Your salary + Your husband's salary = Joint salary minus nursery fees. Thinking that it comes out of your salary alone is why a lot of women give up work and then regret it later.

I would also look into getting a nanny or a childminder. Next year, you will qualify for some assistance in relation to DC1 and that will make life financially easier for you and dh.

Well for me it is the same. I add to our joint household income after cutting nursery fees and MY travel costs... exactly the proud sum of £22 a week!
Now, if trains and undergrounds in london are a bit delayed and I have to pay £6 pounds per 15 min penalty it soon is reduced to ... tiny peanuts.
And of course, I have to pray that DD doesnt get ill as nursery doesnt take her. Then I still have to pay nursery but without being paid.... if THAT is the case... it is reduced not even to peanuts but I pay from my pocket to go to work....

Hmmmm as you say that is life..... let's encourage mums to go back to work...

If you would like to look at childcare as being something that one parent pays for, then why not deduct the cost of childcare from the other adults salary (if there is one) and keep all yours. Really, it is paid by both of you (again assuming 2 people), not just one.

It will only be this price until they start school and then the price will drop.