Getting cold feet over nursery

[NichyNoo]

DS starts nursery in Feb for 4 full days a week. He will be almost 6 months old when he starts. We have chosen a nursery and this week I started the 'adaptation' - taking him there for an hour a day to play and later this week I'll be leaving him for an hour then for a half day etc.

However I'm getting cold feet We live in Belgium and things are done differently here to in the UK so I don't know if these things are normal. All the babies sit on a mat on the floor (with a nurse) and just play by themselves...the toddlers run around playing, crashing into things, screaming. There are lots of toys but they are all very well worn and dirty (or maybe I'm just being precious?).

All the babies had snotty noses and coughs and were putting toys in their mouths...DS hasn't been ill yet (not even had a cold or cough). There are 21 kids and 3 staff (which is normal for Belgium) but I could see some babies were being ignored i.e. they were in the cot room having a nap with a baby monitor in the main room and I could see the lights flashing on the baby monitor indicating they were crying but the staff were busy with the other kids and so did nothing.

I know this is normal for Belgium and Belgium doesn't produce lots of maladjusted kids but I am worried about how it will affect my DS. Everyone says he will get used to it but he is really spoilt at the moment and it will be a massive shock to him. Please tell me I am just being overprotective of my PFB and that he will adapt and be happy

Having not see the nursery, it's difficult to comment but, yes, he will get every cough and cold going when he starts nursery. On the positive side, it will build his imune system up and he won't get them when he starts school.
Yes, all the toys go in every childs mouth - what you need to know is how often they are cleaned. At my dd's nursery, they are cleaned frequently ( plastic in miltons and cloth in the washing machin) This does mean they can look a bit worn but they are clean.
And yes, I think at any nursey, crying children will be left for a few minutes, or in a lot of homes too as carers need to deal with other children. Again, ask how long they would normally leave a crying baby.

I think the thing for me that would probably concern me the most was having all the children in one room, which is different to the nursery I use here. However, if there are not many children and it is common to all belgium nurseies, I'm sure that he ( and you!) will be just fine. Good luck! My dc3 started at 5 months and is really happy at her nursery

Argh! He hates the nursery! He has been twice for a 2-hour period when I have left him there. He has refused his bottle and basically cried the entire time. The staff say that he doesn't like it when other children cry/scream and that sets him off.

What do I do? The staff say that lots of babies are like this to start with and they just get used to it and he will start taking the bottle as he will learn that he goes hungry otherwise.

He is such a happy baby with his parents, family and friends and I don't want him to become withdrawn and sad. Have other parents gone through this and is it normal?

Thank you!

Childminder!!

CHildminder!

I took my pfb to nursery which sounds a bit better than the one you describe. i was totally expecting it to succeed, had no doubts from original visit and owner's spiel. So was not expecting...

... on the day we started, the staff were nearly all temps, and they didn't expect us. they ignored all the info put in ds1s info book thingy and each member of staff just used their own style with each child, actively causing him distress at one point. With other kids and with mine, no consistency, fair amount of neglect to what seemed to me clear need. Simply not enough adults to go round, and those that did seemed to wading through a miasma of low pay related depressions.

took pfb ds1 out after 4 hours, when owner returned. explained what i had seen and how it failed to meet the contracted care we were expecting. got deposit back. got a nanny.

Honestly - if it's as bad as you say it sounds awful. The snot and coughs and worn toys are all part of growing up but the 3 staff to 21 kids would worry me. He's not going to get much if any interaction if the staff child ratio is so low.It's 1 adult to 3 babies in the uk. I am not anti nursery my ds has gone 2 days a week since he was 14 months. I would agree with others - childminder or nanny if you can afford it.

I have my DD in a nursery in Belgium in Brussels. Where is yours? It has 4 staff to maximum 20 kids (there only ever seem to be about 15-18 there at any one time, as many are part-time). It does have different rooms for different ages though. Older children are kept in a downstairs area with access to the garden (in nice weather), whereas younger babies and children who don't yet walk are kept in an upstairs room with the cot room on a half floor.

I wouldn't be very happy about having all ages mixed together. Are they literally all in together, or are the babies separated off in some way?

I agree with paddypoopants that the colds etc are power for the cause. You'll have to accept that your DS will get ill. He won't have been ill up to now because he's not been exposed to germs in the same way. My DD (now 14 months) was ill pretty much constantly for the first 4/5 months, but has been fine since then apart from the occassional cough/cold.

I guess all you can do is give it a few more weeks and see if he starts to settle. Certainly at DD's nursery some of the little ones seem happier there than others. I was lucky - she settled in very quickly despte having been at home with me for 6 months on her own beforehand. What are the staff like? Are they supportive? If you feel you have a good relationship with them, I'd talk to them about your concerns and maybe see what they suggest.

My sister had a brilliant childminder when we lived in Belgium. Sounds like you, and he, might be much more happy trying to find one.

The creche is on Bld Lambermont in Scharbeek. The staff are nice and the older children who are there seem happy.

It is VERY noisy though. The kids are all in one big room with babies sat on a mat in that room with a nurse - on average about 5 babies and maybe 10 toddlers (depending on the day).

The toddlers have a wendy house and slide and run round screaming as they play. Apparently that has upset my DS which I understand as he does get upset with noise if he is overtired.

The trouble is that it is difficult to get him to nap during the day so it really needs one nurse to spend up to 30mins getting him to sleep which I know isn't possible when they have other kids to look after

Which creche is your DD at labelleetlabete if you don't mind me asking?

My DD's at the ONE subsidised creche "Nos tous petits" in Etterbeek. It's really nice, but we were lucky that a place freed up at the right time, as the waiting list is pretty huge. They have 2 staff per section (two sections - one for babies, one for older kids). When they're smaller they put them down for naps when they show signs of getting tired. DD struggled with napping in the cot at first (was always a terrible napper at home), but got used to it after a few days. The first few days they told me she cried for up to 20/30 minutes when they put her down. Do they put him in a sleeping bag etc? DD has her own sleeping bag at creche, so going for a nap is like going to bed. That definitely helps.

Hope it gets better for you.

I'm sure he will get used to it - it's like being part of a really big noisy family I expect. But I can understand your distress and I don't think I would have been happy leaving my PFB in a room that wasn't babies only when I first went back

I think 6 months is too little for nursery, itisn't nurturing enough. Dd1 went to a nursery from aged 1 to 2 1/2 and I was never happy withit, she tolerated it. The staff weren't treated well so turnover was really high and the kids just did their own thing.

Childminder!

Interested to find this thread as I'm also in Brussels and have just ventured onto the 'nurseries' section of MN for the first time today as I am also quite unhappy with the ratio of nursery nurses to babies here.

The creche I am putting my 5 month old DD in has a ratio of 1:6 which I find less than ideal. In DD's section though they are all the same age (all born 2nd half 2010).

I went for the first settling in session today. DD will have 2 more, tomorrow and the next day, before starting in earnest on day 4 (I then have another 3 weeks to build up slowly before going back to work).

I thought when I went today, similar to your experience, that there wasn't enough interaction with the kids. They just play by themselves on the floor and even when the staff were feeding the babies they were talking to their colleague instead of spending quality time with the baby.

I was only there for an hour but it immediately made me want to take my occasional childminder on on a more regular basis, as she gives the baby a lot of loving one-on-one attention and I can see that just isn't the case at the creche.

On the other hand, I almost woudn't dare give up the creche place as it is at my workplace and they are hard to come by.

I'd be interested to hear how you are getting on NichyNoo.

DD and I both love her nursery - however this one doesn't sound quite right. They get 1 member of staff to 2 or max 3 babies in the UK. Separate rooms by ages. I have never seen a baby left crying when I've been to dd's nursery.
Coughs/colds/viruses/all manner of illnesses part of the experience though!
I wouldn't feel happy with a nursery like you describe and would look for a childminder. Nursery only seems to work when you feel really happy of the match between the one you've chosen and your child. Then it's great!

I find that ratio of adults to babies horrifying. I hope that you have found something you are happy with now, OP.

I know the cost of childcare is high here, but this makes me very thankful for the good ratios we have in the UK.