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Just taken baby out of nursery

70 replies

riab · 06/10/2005 12:56

Just wanted to share my experiuences - and have a bit of a rant!

Have had to take my little boy (6mnths old) our of his nursery after a couple of weeks of really bad management.

He's had problem with tummy bugs and reflux over the past 6 weeks - I always kept him off until it cleared up and then I went in and made sure i explained his new feeding needs - ie he had to have soya milk (an intolerence it turned out) and he was losing interest after being so ill before so could they please feed him regularly and keep trying. I also said he needed to have at least 10oz split between 2 feeds during the 5 hrs he was there - preferably more!

This is a copy of the letter I sent to them I'd appreciate any comments on whether i should give them another chance - I've completly lost all trust in them as this wasn't a one off but consistant over at least 2 weeks despite clear instructions by me and his dad.

I would like to raise some concerns I have had recently about Sasha's care
whilst at nursery.

I have attempted to discuss these concerns with nursery staff as has my
husband but this has not resolved the issues.

The staff in general are positive and friendly, they have remembered Sasha's name quickly and I have been happy with the security arrangements and the facilities offered at the nursery.

However there are two very important areas relating to Sasha's individual
care which have been causing me concern for some weeks, in the past four
weeks there has been a marked decline in the levels of care in all of these
areas.

Sleep - despite discussion regarding sleep patterns to be 1 hr between 3 and

4pm this has never been stuck to, neither has sleeping room been used
instead he has been allowed to fall asleep when exhausted or bored in his
seat.

Feeding
Marked decline in amount he takes at nursery - has returned home screaming
with hunger on several occasions. This is an area of great concern, he is
generally a quiet and happy baby and I am concerned that unless he screams
for food whilst at nursery he is not being fed.
Despite discussions regarding need for him to be offered milk frequently due

to reflux, need for him to be fed whilst held not fed whilst strapped into
baby seat etc instructions not followed.

Feeding times not kept to - i.e. milk at 2pm, in diary it says milk at
2.20pm - is this because he was offered it at 2pm and refused it, or because

he was asleep or because no-one was available to give milk?

Burping not carried out effectively resulting in pain and reflux

Diary not kept up to date - there has been conflict between the verbal
report when picked up and what is written down. On several occasions the
last hour has not been recorded so I have no knowledge of whether he has
been fed/changed/slept since 4pm.

Concern about staffing levels, although usually 3 staff in baby room
frequently there are visitors, kitchen jobs etc also being seen to which
reduces staff to one or two people for up to 9 children.

Small babies area is used as storage for prams, despite unsuitability of
many activities for a non crawling baby he is kept in large room with much
older children - several are walking and seem much older than 1yr old. This
is an especially concern towards the end of the day, older children are
often brought down into the baby room and whilst he is trying to feed it
becomes a very noisy and chaotic atmosphere.

In general it seems that the staff are not adequately experienced/trained in

the care of small babies. The needs of a baby at pre-crawling & pre-weaning
stages are very different to those of an older infant or toddler.

I would like to resolve these issues as swiftly as possible however I will
not be bringing him into nursery until I feel more confident that his
requirements are being met.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
batters · 07/10/2005 14:12

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Blu · 07/10/2005 14:16

It is also imposible to find a place for a baby at a CM in some areas, because of the restrictions on numbers, and especially if it is your first child, the baby places tend to be snapped up by pople with an older child at the CMs.

I initially chose a nursery for DS because I was re-assured by the fact that a carer would always be observed by another adult in a nursery. And the holiday and 'sickness' cover.

And remember - the study commented about parents who don't do much research into the care their child gets - and all I see on MN is parents who are highly attentive and scrupulous about checking and questioning thier childcare, and constantly monitoring it, and their child's feelings and responses.

TheRtHonBaronessEnidOBE · 07/10/2005 14:16

works both ways

you cant take your child to a nursery when they are ill

and childminders dont mind

Blu · 07/10/2005 14:17

LadyCod - confused. I thought you were a WAHM?

LadyCodofCodford · 07/10/2005 14:17

nope i do nothing at all ever!

TheRtHonBaronessEnidOBE · 07/10/2005 14:18

ds3 not welcome in court then?

LadyCodofCodford · 07/10/2005 14:19

god imagine.......

tissy · 07/10/2005 14:23

If my child were that ill, I wouldn't send her to a childminder though, I'd want to look after her myself, and anyway, what about the other mindees, I wouldn't want them to catch whatever bug dd had.

As it happens, if dd is ill, dh can take time off his work (also full-time) to look after her.

LadyMarinaofSarfLondon · 07/10/2005 14:25

Agree there batters. There is a shortage in my immediate vicinity in London of childminders whose standards meet mine...I think this thread therefore illustrates how few of us have a full range of choices when it comes to daycare. I think many of us here would agree that you cannot be absolutist in your search for the perfect provision and you have to decide where your compromises are going to be made.
Hats off to people who have adorable Mary Poppins-type childminders close to hand - if you had met one or two of the people with vacancies on my borough's Registered Childminders List you'd be clamouring to place your child in Colditz, I promise We do have a fab new childminder in our road and she has no likely vacancies until 2006 at the earliest.
Riab, you have sparked an interesting debate. I am so sorry you have had problems with your nursery and hope you find a better solution soon.

Xena · 07/10/2005 14:30

I called the parents when I was sick once in 4 years, and I was off for 2 days (inc day I was in hospital) and the weekend to recover. I am no mary poppins but i'm much better than the local b4 and after school club.

LadyMarinaofSarfLondon · 07/10/2005 14:32

Xena, you know I don't mean you! Wish you lived closer! I see a dreadful, horrible woman with a face like a clenched fist doing our nursery pick-up...

alibubbles · 07/10/2005 14:41

Message withdrawn

tissy · 07/10/2005 14:45

alibubbles, how much holiday do you take, and how much notice do you give the parents of your mindies?

foxinsocks · 07/10/2005 15:55

tissy, I don't think anyone was bashing anyone.

Reflux is hard enough to manage as a parent but it's not ideal in a nursery situation with 3 to each adult. I found I was getting called all the time to tell me that dd had been sick and could I pick her up - I gave up explaining that that's exactly what happens with reflux!!

Riab wanted to know whether we thought she should give them another chance and I would say no. If they've demonstrated they can't manage it now, I doubt it will suddenly improve. But definitely look at other nurseries (if you have a chance) - I looked at a few and some stood out as being much better than the rest.

mommie · 07/10/2005 16:24

when Penelope Leach was interviewed in the Daily Mail this week she said her life "fell apart" when her childminder left. hmmm - that's why some of use choose nurseries. i couldn't find a childminder who would take my dd to 7pm, so a nursery was the only option.
TBH Riab, I would move your child. I don't think letters to nurseries make much difference in the long run.

nonstarter · 07/10/2005 17:40

I have nothing but praise for the nursery I use and ds attended from an obscenely early age with many tears shed but only by me. He was quite a placid baby and this did not change when he started at nursery (several staff commented on his placid nature).

I was allowed to pop in whenever I liked and did so initially as I only work 5 mins away from the nursery and never saw anything I was unhappy with.

I still don't tell them when I am planning on finishing work early as apart from the fact it sometimes proves impossible, I like to keep checking that I'm happy with what goes on when I'm supposedly not there.

I would guess that nursery does not suit all little ones and its up to mothers to know or find out what works for them and their children.

Could relate some disturbing stories re childminder used by a friend (who moved her little boy as a result) so the blanket "Nursery bad, childminder better, mummy best of all" should be taken with a pinch of salt.

I know from trying that I'd couldn't do the stay at home thing and be the calm mummy that I am mornings evenings and weekends.

tissy · 07/10/2005 18:40

foxinsocks, I wasn't directly accusing anyone of having a go, but in the past, this type of thread has turned into a Nursery v. CM. v.SAHM fight. Didn't want to see it going that way! Comments like, "nurseries aren't the place for small babies", and "I always think it weird that people prefer nurseries" end up making me feel inadequate. I'm guilty enough about having to put my child in daycare, without having my choice criticised as well.

alibubbles · 07/10/2005 18:40

Message withdrawn

tissy · 07/10/2005 18:42

that's fine then, alibubbles. Unfortunately, I'm the only member of my family in work, who is not a teacher!

bev1e · 07/10/2005 19:11

riab - I placed ds and dd1 in nursery care when they were 3 months old and never had a problem. I loved the place - but then it was a small family run private business.

I couldn't use the same nursery for dd2 as we had moved but ended up pulling her out of the one we did place her in. Nurseries suit some children but not others. Don't send him back - they don't deserve a second chance!

Xena · 07/10/2005 19:51

Marina I knew you didn't mean me, but I know who you mean.

QueenVictoria · 08/10/2005 00:10

I had a bit of a mare when my DD started nursery at 6 mths. She has a milk allergy and i kept being called in to collect her for being sick etc. i kept reminding daily of the allergy et cet and thought i was getting irritating about it. Anyway, i got called one day to collect her again she had been sick and it turns out they had fed her macaroni cheese (the week jigsaw were found guilty of negligence for the boy that died). I had to rush her up to A & E coz her face and mouth had begun to swell.

Anyway, nursery nurse was sacked on the spot, loads of demotions happened. All staff had retraining, procedures were changed, they got a district nurse in to show them how to use DD's epipen etc. Couldnt ask for more. Felt that there was such a hightened awareness there now that i wouldnt get anywhere else so kept her there. She is now 2.6 and still going there. They are fab - particularly in the baby room.

If they remedy the problem and show they have made changes it might be worth persisting with them.

LadyBerryofStrawStreet · 08/10/2005 00:51

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LadyBerryofStrawStreet · 08/10/2005 00:55

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LadyBerryofStrawStreet · 08/10/2005 00:59

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