how much comfort would you give a new settler?

[Arseface]

Hi,
Wondering if wiser heads could settle something that's bothering me?

Spent a couple of hours in our on site nursery at work yesterday interviewing staff for a rewrite of their publicity material.
While I was there I spent about 45 mins in the baby room where one little girl, I'd say just over 12 months old, was crying the whole time with no break.
The staff told me not to worry about her as she was being settling in and was 'angry' about it.
In the whole time I was there she was only picked up twice for a couple of minutes each time and after being (quite half heartedly) cuddled) was put back down, still crying, and the member of staff saying, 'oh, she doesn't want to be comforted.'

It was her second time there and she sounded sad and scared to me. I'd have tried to distract/amuse her as well as cuddle, rather than letting her just sob it out.

I'm not a trained childcare professional, but I'd have tried a bit harder to cheer up that girl. Is there something I'm missing? Is it better in a nursery setting to let them cheer themselves up as staff can't carry them about all the time?
There were only 6 babies in today when usually there are 10 so there were enough staff to give the girl a bit of attention?

The nursery is extremely highly rated by Ofsted and has a very low staff turnover. It's always seemed a lovely place when I've been there before but yesterday was the first time I've been to the baby room.

The staff seemed quite on edge with the constant crying (real tears) Please tell me there was a good reason for them not making a bit more effort to cheer this girl up.

If not, what do you think I should do/say if anything?

Or am I just being a bit soft about the whole thing?

Thanks in advance for replies on this. I keep telling myself it was just a little thing and I'm being daft but it keeps niggling at me.

I agree with you!
In a Nursery Owner and mother of a baby.
Ive done a lot of research for my degrees on attachment theory and how this relates to the key person system
That little person should have been picked up and comforted or at least talked to or an effort made to distract her, when she makes the attachment to her key person she will feel more confident to try and play with some toys.
If you feel that strongly about it why not speak to the Manager,
maybe along the lines of
"dont know if you are aware of how transitions are handled in the baby room" but......

12 month old babies don't get 'angry' as such, they get upset because something isn't happening the way they expect! In this case it sounds like she was distressed at being left somewhere strange and not comforted by someone familiar. I would have said something to the manager if I had seen that.

Thats really shocking to me i would hate to see that being a nursery professional let alone if another parent had come in i would of felt the urge to pick the child up and comfort them especially if they are settling in thats when they need the most comfort and support so they can gain the confidence to need less cuddles and do more exploring and playing

I know some children do not like being cuddled but still a lot of interacting and sitting near the child with games and toys to get them into something and stop crying

Bubbles work great lol

Thanks all!

That's exactly what I felt but not being a childcare professional or even having my children in their care (mine are older)It just didn't seem my place to say anything.

The manager is lovely and I have worked with her before so will raise it gently tomorrow when I go in to finalise the drafts.

Will post againg to let you all know what happened.

Thanks again,

Again , even!

Oh my God! My baby starts nursery this week and this is the sort of situation I had hoped doesn't happen. If the child has just been separated from her mum surely she needs a bit of warm interaction to ease the inevitable nerves. Oh dear!

Hi all, and especially Arabella,

Good news.

Went back in yesterday and the same girl was there but seemed much better. She was interacting a lot more with staff there.
I raised what I had seen with the nursery manager and she explained that this particular little one really disliked being picked up and cuddled and would get very distressed if someone she wasn't too sure of tried to interact too enthusiastically with her. Her key person was basically trying to just be a calm comforting nearby presence without crowding her.

It really seemed to have worked as she was so much happier and clearly beginning to bond well with her key person.

There was also another new baby in and this one was getting loads of cuddles and distraction.

So, all's well that ends well, I'm really sorry if that post scared anyone.

I'm still glad I had that chat and probably wouldn't have felt comfortable doing so without your responses on here,so a big thanks to you all!

Thats great news arseface. Any good nursery manager would be happy to chat to you about your concerns, which seems to have been what happened.

That is good news - but I've seen this too, & without any real explanation. Made me very unsure about nursery for us. 1.5 year old was wandering around crying, 'because she only comes here 2 mornings a week so she's not used to it'. 4 month old settling in was left crying red in the face in a bouncer. Saw him leave the nursery with his mum and he looked bewildered and distressed. Painful experience.