Transition worrying me a lot now

[working9while5]

Hi

My little boy is one on Wednesday. He has always been a very happy little boy, it's something people have always commented on e.g. even the family support worker at the Children's Centre said he should have an award for the happiest baby.

I thought he would be okay at nursery because when I've left him with others to be taken care of etc he's always been pretty happy after an initial protest and is always thrilled to see us come back etc.

However, he's been settling at nursery for three weeks and apparently he is very distressed all day, looking at the door and howling every time it opens. When I went to pick him up the other day I saw he was in the corner exploring and he seemed happy enough but when he saw me he just burst into tears and bounded over to me. The tears, to me, seem like a sort of emotional relief that I've come back.. he just wants to be held and doesn't want to go in the pushchair or the car seat and starts waving bye frantically at the staff.

I feel like I have made a huge mistake with nursery. His keyworker is very unfriendly and has barely spoken to me and I don't know how much she even sees him during the day. I am really worried about how distressed he is. When you go into the nursery you have to wait in the corridor so you never see what's going on. He apparently hates the baby room (tinies to 12 months) but even though he is 12 months there is no space in the room he likes and may not be until he is 15 or 16 months!

Instinctively if if doesn't feel right, I'd find somewhere else for him... Is that doable?

I wouldn't be happy with that. Sounds the opposite of my DD's situation - she had never settled with anyone else, and was miserable to start with but her very friendly keyworker has brought her on very well. Parents are welcomed into the room and are given a full debrief every day. Can you find somewhere else?

I wouldn't like the sound of that, either. My DD had a horrible time settling into nursery but one of the things that absolutely reassured me was that we were free to simply walk in at any time (with appropriate security passes etc) and go straight to the room my DD was in. I would not at all like a nursery that wants to shut parents out. Could you look around for something else?

Also, I think tinies to 12 months is too much of an age range. In our nursery they separated tinies from mobile babies and then progressed them to toddler rooms as it seemed appropriate for the individual child.

I would also be wary of anywhere that didn't seem keen to let me know exactly what my child had been doing all day - when I used to pick DD up, the carers all wanted to tell me everything about the day and it was really nice to hear about what had been happening. And this was with a child of three who was perfectly capable of telling me herself - much more important with a less verbal one year old.

OMG! This sounds very similar to a nursery I worked in a few years ago in north yorks.