Tips on settling NDS at nursery

[Jellybabe]

NDS who is 2 years old has been going to a nursery two days a week for neraly 5 months now. Every morning when I drop here at the nursery she clings to me and wouldn't stop crying. I have been told by the nursery that she usually stops crying as soon as I have left.She seems happy when I arrive to pick her up. What can I do to stop the tears?

Hi Jellybabe, I'm afraid I have no advice as my ds (2.2yo) just started last week and we've had tears when I've dropped him off and the whole time he's there without me. I feel sooooooo crap. He's just going tues-thurs for 1hr a day at the mo (their settling in period) and he's going again today. You aren't allowed to go in with them and have to leave them at the door. All morning he's been saying 'don't want to go mummy' over and over and over again. I've tried to hype it up as much as I can, but he just isn't happy about it. We've done lots of 'classes' together in the past, but this is the first time he's been left with 'stangers'. He's with his nanna every monday and he's fine with that (obviously).

I have the exact same question - what can I do to stop the tears????

Arrgh, I feel sooo crap. I have just dropped ds off at 10am, 15 mins later than the other new kids. She thought if we came that bit later the other kids may have settled by the time ds arrived which might make it easier for him. However, I think she must have forgotten about our arrangement as we were left at the locked door for ages, well about 3 mins, but this was long enough for ds to get so worked up and tearful I was almost doing it myself. She came out and took him quickly, which I was thankful for, but he was screaming arms outstretched at the top of his voice "mummy don't go" She took him in, came back to lock the door and then I just burst into tears in front of her. Why am I doing this to him???? I keep telling myself he needs to start at some point and we'll probably go through this at any time, but with baby no.2 due to arrive at the end of Oct it seemed like the best term to start him. Oh, what can I do to make him like the place more? I love him so much. I can't believe I'm doing this to him.

PS. Sorry for hijacking the thread. Pls let me know how your dd is doing.

nothing

but you can stop letting them bother you by holding on to the fact that she stops as soon as you leave and when you pick her up she's happy as larry

the tears are a form of manipulation which is understandable in a 2 year old, the instant feeling is that she doesn't want to be separated from her parent she has no conception of the lovely things that are about to happen

if you know the nursery is a good place and she has fun just say goodbye quickly kiss her turn away and walk away do not let her cling

what's NDS by the way?

Hi twiglett, I'm not sure about NDS as that was Jellybabes post.

Unfortunately I've sort of hijacked her thread as I'm going through the same thing, only my ds cries on and off for the whole hour I've left him there. He has brought home a drawing and a playdough cat, so I know he must have some 'non-crying time' there, but they have asked me to leave him for only 45mins today as an hour is too long if he doesn't settle. So at the moment he's not been able to see what fun he'll have. The nursery has had lots of good comments from local parents and is the main one for the local primary school. I like the manager and the staff I have met.

Just off to get him now actually, will let you know what the staff say about today..

sorry 99 I wasn't responding to your post.

I think you're having a different situation.

I think its unusual the nursery won't allow you to stay with him for a couple of sessions.

Have you tried leaving something with him that a) smells of you (like a scarf) and b) he knows you'll want to come back and get .. just to reinforce that you will be back.

I think you need to give it a couple of weeks .. and it should improve, if it doesn't you might need to find a childminder instead

When DS started play group at begining of the year, (just before his 3rd birthday) he had a couple of wobbly days and then settled in really quickly. So I though he would be fine to start Nursery. It is his first offical day to day and he really wasnt happy. He didnt want to stay and looked quite uncomfortable and upset. Poor little thing.
AM off to get him now, havent had any phone calls probably has not been any tears.

Jellybabe, DS goes to a childminder 3 days a week, for a good six months he cried everytime I dropped him off, the childminder assured me that he settled quickly after I left. I dont think there is a great deal you can do about it except go with the flow. He would cry everymorning when I left him, and then cry every afternoon when I picked him up because he didnt want to come home. It's just a stage i think.

Sorry twiglett, got wrapped up in my own stuff then!

Well, ds cried the whole time he was there again today. The manager said he's 'a determined little boy, knows what he wants'. Not sure what to make of that. Anyway, she said we should perservere, or wait until he's alot more mature,which I guess means nearer 3. Going to try for a few more weeks. DH is off on Thurs and said he'd take him that day. Also a friend said that the grandmother took her dd for the first few weeks to remove the 'mummy mummy mummy' factor.

Hope your ds is ok today Cori.