Not settling at nursery - should I persevere?

[Gangle]

DS1 is 2 years 5 moths and until recently has been in a nanny share, the nanny having looked after him and another toddler since they were both 6 months. I am currently on maternity leave with DS2 and have joined my partner in the US for a few months as he is based out here for a year. We decided to put DS1 into nursery two mornings a week as we thought it would be good for him to play/socialise with other kids and for me to have some time with DS2. However, DS1 is finding it hard to settle in at nursery. I've only left him for 3 hours maximum but each time he becomes hysterical when I leave and clings to me - find it really hard not to break down myself. Apparently he does settle down and play a little bit but cries on and off until I come back. I know it's normal and it's also early days as he's only been for 5 or 6 mornings but I'm now wondering if it's too much for him when we have just moved country and left his nanny etc. We are also probably only going to be here 4 months max so by the time he is settled we'll be leaving and he'll have to settle into another nursery back in London. On the other hand, I do feel nursery would be good for him, not least because it's more stimulating for him being there for a few hours than stuck home with me whilst I do the housework!

I took my ds out of nursery earlier this year for the exact same reasons you describe - it was breaking my heart. We are both much happier now, and he will be starting pre-school later this year when he is a little older. It is a difficult age for them to settle - apparently they settle better once they are 3.

Hi Gangle,

My honest gut feeling is maybe its a bit too much what with moving and everything. Perhaps find out about some local groups you can all go to?

Its hard isn't it when they won't settle, I have a DS who is struggling with nursery but is getting easier.

My DD had been in nursery from 8mo, but when she was 2.5yo I went on maternity leave and she started the local playgroup.

She was unsettled for WEEKS. They had to ring me a few times to pick her up as she was so upset. I was really surprised as she had always been totally settled in nursery, but I guess just because they have been fine with one childcare setting, doesn't mean they will be for all.

FWIW I perservered for a few weeks, and she eventually settled in fine. I think it was probably all the change, me going on maternity leave etc I'm sure it is the same for your DC (the change of you moving).

I guess its up to you if you want to persevere though. I know it was the best thing in the end with my DD, but then I knew she was going to be there for a year, and that she was meeting children who would go on to be her school friends.