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I failed my wife when she needed me most. I am now trying to make sure other men do not.

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TheUnpreparedFathers · 17/04/2026 20:13

SageSpear is pre-launch.

It will be a training programme for partners of pregnant and postpartum women, preparing them for the realities of pregnancy and new parenthood — practically, emotionally, and in developing the judgment to act when something is wrong.

Twelve years ago my ex-wife experienced severe postpartum psychosis. While she recovered, looking back I can see clearly how my own behaviour — the stress I introduced without realising it, the moments I misread what she needed, the times I thought I understood and did not — made an already devastating situation harder than it needed to be. That ignorance had consequences I am only now able to fully understand. And then, last year, I lost one of my closest friends to the same condition.

I am convinced that most men are simply unprepared — for the fragility of this period, for how much their own behaviour shapes it, for what to do when something feels wrong. Partners often sense deterioration before anyone else does. But sensing something and knowing what to do with that instinct are completely different things. That gap is what I am trying to close with SageSpear.

Before finalising what gets built, I want to understand what women themselves think partner preparedness should look like — how prepared the men in their lives actually are, what would make a difference, and whether something like this is genuinely wanted.

This survey is for you if you are currently pregnant, have given birth in the last twelve months, or are planning another child. It shall take under 10mins and is completely anonymous.

https://form.typeform.com/to/qUldWhSv

Partner Preparedness Survey

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https://form.typeform.com/to/qUldWhSv

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